ssstrider Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I Need some advice. My Girlfriend was pysically abused in a seven year marriage. It was so bad that he actually got two years in jail for what he did to her. She also lived with her great aunt who she thought was her mother till she died when my girlfriend was 11, then the family told her that this isnt your real mother and put her in foster homes. Well I didn't know this when I met her, it came out well after we were together. Our relationship was like a fairy tale, we got along perfectly, even after she told me I was very supportive and told her to do what ever she wanted, go to school or what ever makes her happy, she always seemed so happy and when i asked her she said she was happy. After about 5 months in our relationship she wanted to go back home to send some of her stuff out. I said sure and she was going for a week. During the week she e-mailed and called me every day to tell me she missed me, and I did the same. The last day she sent a e-mail saying she wasnt coming back because she missed her family. After about a week we started to talk on line, then eventually I was able to convince her to talk to me on the phone , after another week she decided to come back, but only for awhile. When she did come back with in hours she was back to her usual self, happy as can be at least as it seemed. she told me that the main reason is she was scared of some doctors tests she had to go through. then months went by and we bought a house and she seemed very happy. Till one day she sent a gift to her step dad (she made contact with mum when she was 20) they never called her or thanked her. I could tell she was upset with this. I told her to go visit and see why they acted the way they did. So she went what I thought was going to be for a week. She was there for no longer then a day and she called saying her family doesn't approve of our relationship. So she had to respect her family and that she broke down when she was there and she was going to go to a psychiatrist. I told her that I very much cared for her and wanted her back, but if this was what was going to ease her pain then I respect her decision. She called me and said she was coming to get her stuff. I said no problem. She came and after helping her pack, she hugged me and cried and said it is not our relationship, our relationship was great, and she very much cared for me. But she couldn't get rid of the pain inside. I told her I very much cared for her and this place would always be her home. She said she needed some therapy and git rid of the demons. I told her since I know you have no money, that I would pay for it, anything to make her happy. she resisted the help untill i insisted. Since then she has only called me once, I asked her if she missed me and she said yes. I know her parents are telling her to stay away from me, cause if I try and phone they just say she is not here very rudely. I am not sure what I should do, I have heard that abused women do what is called the yo you effect. and will keep running back to me, because i was a safe haven. However I do not want to keep going through this, but I also do not want to leave her cause she is ill, I care to much for her. We had such a perfect relationship. Please give me any advice at all
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