joemax Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Ok, so I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, and things were going very well. We're great together, we're always laughing and we have a lot of fun. But last night, we were spending some time together studying and all of a sudden she said "It's almost like we're best friends" and that really bothered me. It just kinda shocked me; I mean, we talk about personal stuff and all, but I don't know. I mean, I never "flirt" with her, I think I forgot how to flirt with other girls, cause flirting's something you do with girls you don't know or haven't been with you know? So I am not sure what to do, and almost jokingly she proposed that we take a break and asked me if we should, I told her no. I feel like this is going nowhere good... Any advice will be appreciated, thank you!
Walk Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 First question, You're positive she was talking about a break in the relationship, and not a break from studying? Seems kind of weird to me that she would be saying you two are like best friends, and the next second talk about taking a break from each other. If you two get a long great, then why would she want to break up? Unless what she was saying is that she's not feeling the excitment and she thinks that being apart will recreate that excitment? By the way, your post read kind of funny. You said "I think I forgot how to flirt with other girls, cause flirting's something you do with girls you don't know or haven't been with you know?" Which implies you've been with all those girls you don't flirt with anymore because you've "been with them". I hope you didn't tell your gf that. That could very easily get you the "I want to take a break" speech from your girl. Plus.. not sure about the two of you, but it's finals week for me, and I'm about stressed to the gill. She could be reacting partly from stress. Plus, holiday seasons are ingrained in women that it should be romantic and exciting with the one we love. And it sounds as if right now, the level of excitment is at "studying together". Which is cool that you two do that.. but not very exciting from a relationship standpoint. I'd suggest talking to her again about how she's feeling. Ask questions about what is lacking in the relationship, what she needs to feel loved, what her definition of exciting is. I've found that I'll get generalized answers, but if I ask more questions it causes the other person to think a little deeper about what they need or want from the relationship. ie: If the person says they need more excitment, then ask what her definition of excitment is. Ask her to give an example. Basically, keep asking quesitons until you have a least an idea of what the problem is. If she can't answer the questions, then you probably can't fix the problem. You really can't give someone what they want when they don't know what it is they want. Keep in mind when talking to her, the point of the discussion is to find out what she feels is lacking. Find the problem, work to resolve it. You can't fix anything if all you know is that it's broke. Like trying to fix a car without knowing why it won't start. You have to diagnose the problem first.
DanielMadr Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Ok, so I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, and things were going very well. We're great together, we're always laughing and we have a lot of fun. But last night, we were spending some time together studying and all of a sudden she said "It's almost like we're best friends" and that really bothered me. It just kinda shocked me; I mean, we talk about personal stuff and all, but I don't know. I mean, I never "flirt" with her, I think I forgot how to flirt with other girls, cause flirting's something you do with girls you don't know or haven't been with you know? So I am not sure what to do, and almost jokingly she proposed that we take a break and asked me if we should, I told her no. I feel like this is going nowhere good... Any advice will be appreciated, thank you! Are you sure she had lot of fun too? Flirting is projecting sexual attraction. Do you have sex....together? Are you friends or lovers or what? Dont listen to what she says...people and especially girls talk too much. Watch for signs of interest. What she does. When she is cold and is keeping her distance, than you have a problem for example.
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