Tywat2 Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Hi this is my first post/thread kinda nervous. I am 16 years old. But I need help and have no one in my life to ask. I need to learn how to talk to/meet girls. I don't really know how to start talking to them or even approach them. All my friend says is to be confident, but I don't really know how to be without knowing what I'm doing...And I really do need to find a Girl friend because I've been kinda down lately, alone, and feeling the need to be with girls more. Thanks...
Touche Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 That is the most irresponsible post I've ever read on here! Don't listen to KMT. Alcohol and dealing drugs is not the answer. And a nice girl won't want a loser who is doing those things. Where do your friends hang out? Do you have any after school activities? The only way to get confident is by jumping right in and asking some girls (or ONE girl) out. Just ask her if she want to hang out and go see a movie or something. Hey, what's the worst that can happen? She's not going to laugh at you. Worst case scenario is that she says no but then you just ask another one out. Just try it ok? And forget the other advice you were given. It's AWFUL advice.
Author Tywat2 Posted December 12, 2006 Author Posted December 12, 2006 I live in a really small town. After school I just go home there is really nothing to do or places to hang out. Most people just hang at their friend's houses. And there is a movie theater, but its way away from town. Plus I cant drive to anywhere interesting. So I'm kinda stuck. And how do i ask a girl out? just walk up and ask? or talk? or I don't know this whole thing is confusing...And I would never do what KMT said even tho my town would be perfect for it.....
Touche Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Ok, good. Glad you're not following his idiotic advice. Yeah, just start talking to one of them and after awhile ask her if she wants to hang out at your house. Maybe you can rent a movie together? Or make it a double date and ask a buddy of yours and his g/f to come over for pizza and a movie...might be better that way for the first time. Can you do that?
Porn_Guy Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Hi this is my first post/thread kinda nervous. I am 16 years old. But I need help and have no one in my life to ask. I need to learn how to talk to/meet girls. I don't really know how to start talking to them or even approach them. All my friend says is to be confident, but I don't really know how to be without knowing what I'm doing...And I really do need to find a Girl friend because I've been kinda down lately, alone, and feeling the need to be with girls more. i can sympathize cause i'm in the same boat. i don't know how to get confidence. do people just wake up one day and have it?
Touche Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 i can sympathize cause i'm in the same boat. i don't know how to get confidence. do people just wake up one day and have it? Of course, not. You gain it by just going out of your comfort zone and with each success (and you will have some rejections) you will gain confidence. It's kind of like bowling in a way. With each strike you get you gain more confidence and think, hey I'm pretty good at this. See what I'm saying? But the first few times you bowl you're not confident. So it's kind of like that.
Porn_Guy Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Of course, not. You gain it by just going out of your comfort zone and with each success (and you will have some rejections) you will gain confidence.. but here at univ i see guys who have lots of confidence with girls. they have hotties all around them all day and they don't do anything. even the average girls won't even talk with me. i've only been on 4 or 5 dates and never had a girlfrind. i don't know what i'm doing wrong. how can i have successes if the girls won't even go out with me.
Touche Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Well some people just have to try a little harder than others. You will just have to play a "numbers game" and ask out more until you get a girl who says yes. Trust me, eventually one will say yes.
Green Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Look some of the advice I gave was bad but it would all work. And porn guy I had all the hotties around me when I was in Uni so listen up I'll tell u how to do it. My tactic was to just talk to every single girl real friendly like act like I had no interest at all and then bam ask em on a date go for kisses stuff like that. as for the guy who originaly posted this thing if that is a Stargate Atlantis symbol being urself with girls ur age isnt going to work to good unless they admit to liking that show too and even then watch out it may be a trick. Just start asking girls to hang out with you, take some chances, relize its no big deal. The more you act like its no big deal when your asking these different girls out and trying to kiss them and what ever else ur going to try to do the better off you;ll be. Dont get fixated on one girl ask them all out and be cool and nice about it and act like you dont care no big deal. Really the most important thing for you to do is just to give it a try dont just go straight home ask these girls out theres no shame in being rejected only shame in wanting something like a relationship and never trying for it. Touche my advice may have been ilegal but it all works and this guy seems to know that and I had to say it or Id look like I was omitting some of his options even though there are definet down sides to them
Touche Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Illegal options should never be an option. Other than that bit of nonsense, you had good advice. Yes, you have to do some acting OP. Just ACT like it's no big deal when you ask them out. Kind of like "fake it 'till you make it."
Green Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 and yes ur going to be nervouse and yes ur going to feel like not doing it but just act like its no big deal and do it. Just giving it a try is the best advice. And in reality it is no big deal : )
Touche Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Yes, it's always worse than you think it's going to be. That can be said for lots of things in life.
Author Tywat2 Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 I wouldn't bring up stargate. Its not something im open about. only my family knows.(and well you all i guess).
lovestruck234 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 Confidence is the biggest brownie point in my books with guys. If a guy is confident enough in the first place to come and approach me, then they've already won a few points without me even knowing them...(of course, if they turned out to be a jail bird or a drug dealer then I would probably turn the other way and make it for the exit.!!) Just reeee-lax. It's the first thing you need to think about before anything. Relax. Think that you're just approaching someone you know, a good friend, someone you feel comfortable around. And think that you're just going up and chatting with them like it's any other normal conversation, and that it has nothing to do with asking them out... Even if going through the girl's close friends first and finding out if she's already dating or whatever. Hey, you might even pick up one of her friends!! When you approach her, don't do it in a weird or awkward time. I assume you go to school...so if there's someone in your grade that you have your eye on, and if she's in a class of yours, THEN would be a perfect opportunity...and it would be a great way to start conversation, even asking her a question about the work you are doing or whinging about how boring the teacher is....SOMETHING that would start a bit of a flow. I would go with asking a question about the work you're doing. (Even if you do understand what your working on) Ask her to explain something to you... Strike up a bit of chatty conversation then...what are you up to on the weekend? I see that new (name of movie) is out, I reckon that looks really good....oh you do too? Hey, if you've got no plans, I can organise a lift to the movies (seeing as you live far out of town??) if you wanna come? If you want, bring your friends along too, I was already going to go with friends, but it would be pretty cool if you came too!! Something not too threatening, not too...obsessed, I guss, not to "I'm so desperate, horny and keen to stick my tongue down your throat" sort of approach. JUST friends. Seeing a movie. With other friends. Which MAY lead to other things... You'll be fine...remember FIRST relax, THEN approach, STRIKE up casual conversation, SUGGEST activity, IF rejection occurs, KEEP talking as if it was no big deal and you weren't really asking her out in the first place, that it was SIMPLY a SUGEGSTION... Hope this all made sense.
Author Tywat2 Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 My thought is. I dont know who is dating. It seems like everyone is. there is only like 500 people in my whole school 3/5 are guys and out of the remaining 2/5 that are girls about 1/2 of them are the ugliest, bitchiest people you would never even want to talk to let alone date. I will try what you all said today at school.
Touche Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 My thought is. I dont know who is dating. It seems like everyone is. there is only like 500 people in my whole school 3/5 are guys and out of the remaining 2/5 that are girls about 1/2 of them are the ugliest, bitchiest people you would never even want to talk to let alone date. I will try what you all said today at school. Hey, welcome to the real world! It's pretty much no different when you get out of school too. Good luck!
DanielMadr Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 You'll be fine...remember FIRST relax, THEN approach, STRIKE up casual conversation, SUGGEST activity, IF rejection occurs, KEEP talking as if it was no big deal and you weren't really asking her out in the first place, that it was SIMPLY a SUGEGSTION... Hope this all made sense. Good advice. Except 'IF rejection occurs, KEEP talking as if it was no big deal and you weren't really asking her out in the first place, that it was SIMPLY a SUGEGSTION...' No need to do that. Every girl you say 'Hi' to, atomatically thinks you want to sleep with her even if you dont. And to say this only to protect your pride? F@ck the pride man. You at least tried, shrug it off, say 'Its a pitty', smile and continue with conversation shortly, say goodbye and go find another one.
lovestruck234 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 No need to do that. Every girl you say 'Hi' to, atomatically thinks you want to sleep with her even if you dont. This isn't true at all... There may be the slight % of narrow-minded girls out there that DO think that, but no, not al girls think that. The girls that DO think like that, are usually the ones that you end up sleeping with...the girls that DON'T think that are the ones you can still be mates with. Geez, if I was under the impression that every guy that approached me wanted to sleep with me, I would start feeling like I've got to change my dress-sense or something, and that I must give off the impression that I'm easy. *shakes head* nup, it's not true.
luvr29 Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 TIMING IS EVERYTHING Never wait until the day of the event to ask someone if they'd like to go to it (i.e., the afternoon of the Senior Prom). What this tells the girl is that she probably wasn't your first choice. Even if she really was, these last minute tactics will come off as if someone else dumped you and you are desperate. Planning a date in advance gives her the chance to decide what to wear, get someone to cover her shift, or just daydream in anticipation. It's also crucial that you never ask a girl out in front of other people. If you do, one of several things will happen. She may say yes just to keep from embarrassing you, then turn around and tell you no and never to do that to her again. She may be excited and say yes, then regret that she has made your date first-page news and the ongoing object of unwanted gossip. She could also give you a flat no, an awkward moment which is compounded by everyone else witnessing it and labeling you a loser. Pick a time when the two of you have some privacy. For instance, it could be a walk home from school or a break at the concession stand. While you can also resort to a phone call or an email, do you really want to trust to technology something as significant as a first date? What if there's a server glitch or the battery on your cell phone chooses that precise moment to die? Besides, girls really do like to be asked in person. If you must resort to something less traumatic than talking, an old-fashioned note is a sweet way to go. HAVE A PLAN If you're asking a girl to a dance, there's pretty much a clear understanding that dancing will be involved. If, however, you only ask if she wants to go out on Friday, she has no idea if you mean bowling, the movies or dinner at a nice restaurant. Have a plan in mind, as well as a specific time and whether you will pick her up or meet her somewhere. Oh, and make sure you have the funds to pay for this unless there is an agreement in advance that the two of you are going Dutch. Whatever time you have agreed to, be punctual. (It makes a good impression and shows that your word can be trusted.) Never, ever cancel a date unless it is a legitimate emergency. Word travels fast in social circles, no matter what age you happen to be. If you lie to her, it is a sure thing that she will find out about it. She will also tell her girlfriends and they won’t want to go out with you, either. DON'T RUSH THINGS Even if you're certain that this is the person you want to spend eternity with, a first date isn't the time to tell her that you have already picked out a house and the names of your six children. The purpose of a date is to have fun, get to know them, and decide whether you'd like to see him or her again. Relationships that are rushed are likely to burn out just as fast. You’re still young. Savor the moment. Have a good time. And if all goes well, you’ll have no problem getting a second date with this special someone. Find more useful tips at: http://www.essortment.com/in/Lifestyles.Relationships/index.htm
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