sundaynightheartache Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. When we first met, I felt like he was rushing me into a relationship. Everything went serious really fast, and he was becoming emotionally too attached. I was still trying to get over my ex at that time, so I was a little distant. But after about three months, I was falling in love with him. We were happy for about three months after that. This was during the summer. And during that time, we were always together. We got into arguements because I get depressed all the time and I would pick fights out of nowhere. But we got through that. He said he loved me. And he said he wanted to be with me forever. He said that we had to make this relationship strong enough to last the next three months we're going to be away from each other because of college. We are both 19 years old now. Well, in the next three months, he had moved 400 miles away, a 6 hour drive. I only see him if not a couple of times a month, at least once. And everyday got harder and harder. We always questioned each other's feelings and sometimes even wonder about each other's fidelity. A lot of things changed. And he became really stressed because of some situations with his parents and he had just started to get in the engineering program and he wasn't doing so well. Well, it's Christmas break.. and he's back home. He's still not the same guy I fell in love with and I knew there was something wrong. I was so unsure about how he felt even when he tells me he loves me. And so I confronted him about it. I always do, but this time, I tried harder to get it out of him. And he said he wasn't sure if he loved me anymore. He said that he wants to. But he's got a lot of other things to worry about right now. He feels like there's nothing between us anymore except "love." Whenever he visits me, we don't do anything but have sex and cuddle. And it lasts for an hour and then he leaves. Now, he wants a week break to think things through. I don't know if I can lived without him. I didn't sleep last night and didn't get to study for my finals at all. I am extremely depressed. And I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not worth anything. All I ask from him to maintain this relationship is a few calls every so often because I know he's been busy. He tells me he would, but he always forgets. I don't feel special at all. I don't know what to do. I love him so much. I've done everything for him. I've tried my very best. I've worked so hard for this relationship more than any other relationship in my life. I feel like, if this doesn't work, I don't want to exist anymore.
Author sundaynightheartache Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 Is it better if I break up with him now? Or should I wait to hear from him. He's not the type of person to leave someone hanging. I sort of still hope that he decides to give this relationship another shot. But it's like I know that we both know that it's not going to be the same anymore. If our feelings for each other have decreased by half of how we used to feel about each other, is there a possibility that it will ever go up again? And I'm not just talking about love, I'm talking about the same infatuation. I know it won't be the same. But is this worth fighting for?
ShoeGirl Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 You are 19 and in an LDR, I was there a year ago and I know it can be hard. If he is not willing to hold up his end by making time to talk to you every day (or every other day) then you don't have a relationship anymore. You are questioning each others feelings and each others fidelity all you are doing is causing yourself more stress than it is worth. Call him and tell him that you need to talk to him, see if he can make the time for you, if he can tell him your concerns and why you are questioning his feelings for you as well as whatever else is really bugging you, see what he says and how he reacts, that will tell you a lot. If he can't make the time for you then end the relationship, you deserve so much better than that. Good luck!
Nienora Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 I've got to tell you that this is way too familiar. My fiancee and I decided to "take a break" a week ago. Well, more like he decidedthat we needed to take a break. It had been very rocky the last month; he didn't take the time to see me, he'd only come if I asked him to, I kept trying to get to the bottom of what was bothering him, but he pushed me away even more. I told him to call me when he figures things out, I think he's a little overwhelmed right now. He told me our relationship is like a "bright candle", brilliant at the time, but unable to last long. I asked him if it was something I'd done and he said no. For my own sake, I believe that to be true. It's been a week now and I haven't talk to him since that fateful phone call. This week has been hell... I want to call him so bad, I want him to tell me everything will be ok. I want to break down and cry in his arms. It's hard, he was not only my love, the one I want to spend my life with, he was my best friend. I fear I'm waiting for a phone call which may never come. The best advice I can give you is take it easy for a couple weeks. Hang out with your friends, focus on your school work, study long and hard and don't try to contact him. Let him contact you first. Show him you're strong and keep living your life. I know that is torture right now, that's what I've been through too this last week. I can tell you it's not easy, and it doesn't get easier with each passing day, for me it's gotten harder. I wish I could give you the answers, it would make both our lives that much happier, but love is both the greatest and worst thing I've ever dealt with, I just need to figure if I'm strong enough or if this will break me. I'm still waiting for that phone call...
Guest Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 YES, HIM AND THOSE OTHER 15 GUYS TOO - WINK That is so lame now
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