frannie Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 well she tried calling from her blocked number 3 times last night till she decided to leave a message to call her back before the night. I REFUSED to call her back last night. I won't pick up block calls after 10pm!!!! I wonder what she wants. Well my grumpy 'no-compromise' side says she wants you on a little piece of string. My sarcastic side says she wants her dolly back And my sympathetic-been-there-be-gentle-to-him-and-don't-judge-people side says maybe ask her to email you with her thoughts on where she's at. That way she has to lay it all out without soft soaping and you can take a look at it when you like, rather than getting involved in conversations. And my eh?? side still says how do her calls get through when her number is on block? I'm in the UK... if you put a number on block you don't get to even know if they called, so I'm scratching my head on that one.
whichwayisup Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I think what he means is, when a caller calls, it says unknown caller on his call display, which means she has blocked her phone number so noone can see her phone number.
Author oyster Posted January 16, 2007 Author Posted January 16, 2007 You should email her once and tell her that if she has left her husband, moved and has papers signed, delivered and sealed THEN you two will speak, but until then she now has to respect why you need NC. As much as it may hurt her not to have you in her life, even ever-so-casually, it's got to be killing your heart..... There is no reason for her to talk to you unless she's made her decision. Good or bad - She can't keep you hanging in the wind for too much longer, that's not fair. yes, I guess I'll pick up the phone next time the unkown caller rings in. Will tell her what you said word per word!!!!
frannie Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 I think what he means is, when a caller calls, it says unknown caller on his call display, which means she has blocked her phone number so noone can see her phone number. Ah ok. That's not the same here, then. Or at least not with my phone service provider. If I block a number, nothing comes through. Nothing at all.
frannie Posted January 16, 2007 Posted January 16, 2007 yes, I guess I'll pick up the phone next time the unkown caller rings in. Will tell her what you said word per word!!!! The thing is, if blocking calls just means you don't know who is calling, I'd question the value of that. I mean, if someone calls from a public phone you're going to get the same 'unknown caller' thing... aren't you? What if it's a friend calling from somewhere..? I don't know. I mean, did you actually block the number or just delete it from your phone..? Anyway, sorry to get all sidetracked onto blocking calls
Author oyster Posted January 16, 2007 Author Posted January 16, 2007 I think what he means is, when a caller calls, it says unknown caller on his call display, which means she has blocked her phone number so noone can see her phone number. yup, 1-I did not block her number, I just deleted it from my contact so I can't accidentally dial it. 2-When she called, it displays "Unknown caller" 3-I got 2 guy friends with Unknown number so not answering them is useless
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 So I returned the book to her (drop off at condo reception), will give her silly doll to our common friend ASAP. Enough is enough, from now she will have no reason to contact me. Geez, can you believe this, she called me late (11pm+) 3 times on Monday, then leaves a message. I call her back Wednesday. She is like giving grief why I don't answer the phone right away like before and returning her call sooner. By her inaction, she forgot that she sent out strong signal that she has made her choice. We broke up and she still has same expectation....geez.... Out of all the interviews of other girls, I think I found one that interest me more, time to ask this new girl out. Now I can date without looking back....the best quote that I live by from now on. So good I made a label and stickies it to the back of my cell phone. From Caliguy "Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option"
cbl Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 From Caliguy "Never make someone a priority in your life who only sees you as an option" way to go
frannie Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 oyster I'm glad you have blocked her number now... it's so hard when you know she's calling... then again, it also makes it easier to know they still want you in some way... it's not really NC though. Now that it's all in place and the doll is being returned too... you can maybe give her a NC message asking her not to contact you again unless she's free from her current situation. That way if she breaks it again it will be because she's not respecting you, rather than she's just not understanding..? Just a thought. Don't want to leave any doors ajar for further hurt down the line...
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 oyster I'm glad you have blocked her number now... it's so hard when you know she's calling... then again, it also makes it easier to know they still want you in some way... it's not really NC though. I can't really block her number from my cell phone. All I can do is to remove it so I won't accidentally dial it. Besides she is calling from a phone booth or blocking her number so I don't know who is calling. Now that it's all in place and the doll is being returned too... you can maybe give her a NC message asking her not to contact you again unless she's free from her current situation. That way if she breaks it again it will be because she's not respecting you, rather than she's just not understanding..? Just a thought. Don't want to leave any doors ajar for further hurt down the line... I will leave a hallmark card with a note with the doll. I will post the note here before I write it down.
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 So the card reads on the front "Good bye and Good Luck" Inside, it reads "Wishing you much happiness in all your endeavors" My hand written note (please provide feedback) Dear ######, Since you made your decision to stay in your confortable misery, there are no more reasons for us to maintain contact. Unless you finalize your divorce, please stop all communication attemps with me. Good luck and take care.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 Thats breaking NC. The strongest message you can send is your silence. Okay, will you please forget the damn doll and the card already. For petes sake, sending her the doll keeps her on the hook, your fishing for her decision again. Giving her her 100th chance to walk away again. So, find the will to put the doll in the donation box for charity and move the heck on and keep on trucking, even for appearances sake. Just do it. Fake it til you make it.
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 Thats breaking NC. The strongest message you can send is your silence. Okay, will you please forget the damn doll and the card already. For petes sake, sending her the doll keeps her on the hook, your fishing for her decision again. Giving her her 100th chance to walk away again. So, find the will to put the doll in the donation box for charity and move the heck on and keep on trucking, even for appearances sake. Just do it. Fake it til you make it. well true, I just want to get rid of what does not belong to me and clearly communicate that it will be No Contact forever. If she walks away, great!!!!!! No worries I am moving on, going on dates.
frannie Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 I disagree, RMD. The doll has to be returned, because she's already mentioned it a couple of times and it gives a (spurious) reason for her to make contact again. And stating that you want NC from now on and on what grounds is sensible. Again, because claiming she didn't realise what he wanted is a good excuse for worming her way in again at some future date. Refusing to answer calls with no explanation is just inviting a visit to 'see what's going on'... bleh. Not sure about the wording of the card. It seems halfway between polite, goodwill and a smack in the mouth... but I'm not very good with wording things anyway, so I'll let other people advise on that.
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 Not sure about the wording of the card. It seems halfway between polite, goodwill and a smack in the mouth... but I'm not very good with wording things anyway, so I'll let other people advise on that. that is why I am posting the wording. I want to be less abrasive but still leave room for no confusion.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 Yeah but if oyster gave the doll away to charity and the doll was gone FOREVER there would still be no reason to keep asking for it. "Go look in the goodwill bin, bye!" or "I sold it on eBay!" and hang up. lol. Geez this must be some doll. But I think you are the toy she is going on about. It's soo obvious. Pull the string on her back and it says "my boyfriend is a doormat" you should take the time to have a little fun with this little game. She is toying with your life. Draw Alice Cooper eyes on the doll and send it back postage due. Just take the initiative now before you miss your chance.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 PS I dont even want to know why she brought a doll and a book over to your place. anyway. Sounds pretty kinky to me. lol
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 PS I dont even want to know why she brought a doll and a book over to your place. anyway. Sounds pretty kinky to me. lol called wild cards in case things go wrong and the relationship breaks up. 2x excuse to re-establish communication.
Romeo Must Die Posted January 18, 2007 Posted January 18, 2007 So wouldnt now be a really good opportunity to show her your poker face? No time like the present. You know perfectly well that if its not a doll it will be something else. My car broke down. I bought a new cellphone. It rained today and I thought of you. Whatever. Maintain NC. Replying in any form even through a friend is breaking your own (established) NC rule. The girl is calling your bluff. Tell her the doll died, and you had a little funeral and buried her somewhere in the woods or somewhere in her backyard. lol
Author oyster Posted January 18, 2007 Author Posted January 18, 2007 this is what a co-worker wrote for me. Dear ____________, I will have to let you go as you put too many restrictions on me. I need a harem and it seems you are trying to sabotage this goal. I need to be free and find myself. It's not you, it's me. Please do not stalk me! Sincerely,
Author oyster Posted February 21, 2007 Author Posted February 21, 2007 ok a few updates. yes I did meet up with her a few times. Now she understand what I wrote and agreed we need to stop seeing each other till she leaves him. My communication lines are open but only if she is making progress on her end.
MoonGirl Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Hi Oyster, So she's still thinking about leaving her husband? Geez...this has been going on for a long time now. By the way, if you haven't read my posts lately, I left my husband 2 weeks ago. And I have never been happier.
Author oyster Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 Hi Oyster, So she's still thinking about leaving her husband? Geez...this has been going on for a long time now. By the way, if you haven't read my posts lately, I left my husband 2 weeks ago. And I have never been happier. well she is at the point where she will leave him. It is the guilt thing, she wants me out of the picture for a while. During this no contact time, she will show him that there is nothing left and she is not leaving him because of another man. They tried to reconcile but after 1-2 months, same old **** again and now hubby has a side girlfriend.
frannie Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 ok a few updates. yes I did meet up with her a few times. Now she understand what I wrote and agreed we need to stop seeing each other till she leaves him. My communication lines are open but only if she is making progress on her end. Hello oyster... good to hear an update. Sounds like things are going well for you. I like the idea of the 'open communication' only if she's making progress, and the distancing yourselves from each other. Makes a lot of sense. Best of luck.
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