samsungxoxo Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Say "I love you" back when you feel the same thing your partner is feeling for you. At first when b/f use to say "I love you", I would just say "Yea, ok, but would state that it would take me a while to develop that kind of connection. Now that it's develop whenever he says that my answer is "Ok, me too".
silentalways Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 nice. u went from two words to three! woo hoo i love saying i love u. great way to start and end the day
Krytellan Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I always make it clear to my partners that I don't belive in obligatory comments, that is responding in kind just because someone says something. For example, I don't generally respond to an "I love you" with an I love you. Rather, I may smile and run my hand thru her hair, or give her a light kiss, something that shows appreciation but doesn't include repetition. I feel that the obligatory return of comments cheapens their meaning and the response to them, and I make it clear in the beginning. Just recently, my GF told me that she loved me for the first time (after I had dropped the first one earlier that evening) and I smiled and kissed her and simply reminded her by saying "just because I'm not saying it back that doesn't mean I don't feel it and appreciate it... I don't believe in saying it just because you said it." She understood completely. My take is that people appreciate that and find that they value the words more that way.
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Just recently, my GF told me that she loved me for the first time (after I had dropped the first one earlier that evening) and I smiled and kissed her and simply reminded her by saying "just because I'm not saying it back that doesn't mean I don't feel it and appreciate it... I don't believe in saying it just because you said it." She understood completely. Krytellan.. I'm confused.. You tell your GF you love her...then a couple of hours go by and after coming up with the strength your GF then tells you that she loves you.. but you don't reciprocate ?? you just tell her "just because I'm not saying it back that doesn't mean I don't feel it and appreciate it... I don't believe in saying it just because you said it." She understood completely. I'm thinking you hurt her feelings.. you withheld your love for power and control over her feelings... How screwed up is that ?? You really needed to tell her you love her.. I mean you do love her right ?? This first time was special to her.. I'll bet the world she really wanted to hear it back from you when she mentioned it the first time
Author samsungxoxo Posted December 12, 2006 Author Posted December 12, 2006 Art Critic people show love/affection in various ways. There are ways to showing it other than saying "I love you". I don't mind him saying it, he can say it as many times as he want to, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna say it back b/c he did. I stick to the old saying "Actions speak louder than words". Just because you don't say it does not mean you don't feel it.
Art_Critic Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Just because you don't say it does not mean you don't feel it. you are correct.. really in the grand scheme of things showing someone you love them is more important than just telling them.. The point I was making on my previous post was they were saying they loved each other the very first time and when she said it to him he didn't say it back.. Nothing worse than saying I love You for the first time and they don't say it back.. even though he said it first a couple of hours before I'm sure she still needed to hear it.. but she didn't ..
SmoochieFace Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I dunno... sounds like some people are scared of saying those three words, IMO. If I told my GF that I love her and she didn't reciprocate then I would start to have questions about why I am in the relationship. I do not care to be with someone who is afraid of saying three little words. To me, it demonstrates a fear of opening up and allowing someone to get close.
laRubiaBonita Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 To me, it demonstrates a fear of opening up and allowing someone to get close. i think so too. even if the "I love you" is implied. by not saying those 3 words it would lead me to think there were stills some emotional walls up.
allina Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I would never say 'I Love You' first, but if I ever did and got "Ok, me too" back I would be crushed and angry. But if it's a new relationship and he tells you right away I guess there isn't much you can do. I dont know how long you've been with him but "Ok" seems like a normal response to those 3 little words a month or so in to the relationship.
SmoochieFace Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I would never say 'I Love You' first, but if I ever did and got "Ok, me too" back I would be crushed and angry. But if it's a new relationship and he tells you right away I guess there isn't much you can do. I dont know how long you've been with him but "Ok" seems like a normal response to those 3 little words a month or so in to the relationship. I am curious as to why you would never say it first?
allina Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 It's been 4 months now. That's still a very short amount of time, most people don't even start saying those words till about 4-6 months in, so I think your hesitation is normal. Do you believe him when he tells you he loves you? Do you love him? If you say yes to both I think you will become more comfortable with things as the relationship progresses.
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