My epiphany regarding women in my life...

[guest......1]

Well this post should probably be opposite because i barely have any in my life.

 

Anyway I realized today that the reason why i dont have a gf and have little dating experience is because mainly I've been having a complacent/dont care/take-it-or-leave-it kind of attitude.

 

A brief history on my so called 'love life':

 

A lot of kids start daing in j.h.s., as for me i had the opportunity but i was clueless about dating, i was completely oblivious to it as i was a late bloomer. I did have a couple female friends from these days that i know up till today and im glad nothing happened between us.

 

High school...a lot of people around me were dating, i was even friends with couples that dated or dumped each other. Me...well throughout all 4 years without dating in h.s. or having a gf, oddly enough i wasnt unhappy about it. In fact it wouldnt be on my mind or i wouldnt care about it at all. I made friends with a few girls around school, nothing serious.

 

College, I dated a few girls here and there. And I also had my first relationship...although short lived it was fun, hot, and steamy as it lasted.

During college, before the relationship and after the relationship, there were girls who took up an interest in me. There were even a few that went as far as giving me their numbers or asking me out...To be frank i wasnt interested in them at all...so nothing came out of it.

 

There was one girl in my class this semester i did like a little and im sure she also did but i never made a move...i guess i didnt care enough to risk rejection?

In most cases, i see a lot of attractive women day in - day out. But i dont care enough to ask them out (although i have in the past). It can be to blame on my complacency or perhaps a subconscious fear of rejection. My emotions are turned off for the most part i find.

 

Since a teenager till now, there have only been a few women i've held a strong attraction towards. any other woman does not interest me.

And in some/most cases for me it's very easy for me to lose interest in a woman.

 

But aside from women, i am ambitious in other aspects of life like my hobbies/life/career/education.

 

I hate and love being this way, as i can have the satisfaction of being a bachelor. But at the same time i know im missing out on so much with women, relationships and sexual experiences.

 

Can anyone diagnose my problem?

[Guestofhonor]

I think you diagnosed yourself in your post: fear of rejection. Yeah, rejection is hard, but imagine if no one asked anybody else out on dates. You just have to take a deep breath and do it. It's hard enough finding someone you're interested in who's interested in you too. Why not ask that person out?

 

It's good that you have other things going for you in life, but love's important as well. Good luck.

[barfool]

Well, if relationships and women are take-it-or-leave-it with you, then I don't think you have a problem. Just because most people have a need to be intimate with others doesn't mean you have to for your happiness. There's nothing wrong with dating a girl here and there when you feel like it. Just don't lead them on that it's a lasting relationship that you're looking for.

[Porn_Guy]

i don't know if i have the same problem. maybe i do. i'm more interestd in girls in porn than real life girls. i'm normal in other ways, i think...

[SmoochieFace]

Can anyone diagnose my problem?

 

I'm not sure you actually have a problem... you seem to be content either being in or not being in a relationship. Nothing 'wrong' with either choice.

[Guest]

I think you diagnosed yourself in your post: fear of rejection. Yeah, rejection is hard, but imagine if no one asked anybody else out on dates. You just have to take a deep breath and do it. It's hard enough finding someone you're interested in who's interested in you too. Why not ask that person out?

 

It's good that you have other things going for you in life, but love's important as well. Good luck.

 

I do if given the chance or i find there's a 'spark' between us. But whether or not i chat up women, the majority of them don't interest me..regardless if they take up an interest in me or not.

 

Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough with them or giving them a chance for at least making the effort...again this is back to my 'take it or leave it' attitude. I think a problem might be im not exposing myself to more opportunities to meet women.

 

Well, if relationships and women are take-it-or-leave-it with you, then I don't think you have a problem. Just because most people have a need to be intimate with others doesn't mean you have to for your happiness. There's nothing wrong with dating a girl here and there when you feel like it. Just don't lead them on that it's a lasting relationship that you're looking for.

im a little bit of a loner..as i always have been most of my life. I have few friends but I prefer it that way, quality over quantity. But I can get along fine with people in any social setting. and usually would not turn down any invitation for social outings.

 

As for relationships...If i really chase a girl and am consistent, then im really into her. I would probably hope for it to turn exclusive at some point if we hit it off. If i find a girl interesting enough to have coffee with then i will ask, but if im not interested from the get-go likely there will be nothing between us other than coffee.

 

Thinking about the past, the girls i did date actually made as much of an effort as i did to see each other. I made the effort because there was an instant spark/chemistry upon encountering them for the first time. There werent games or anything of the sort.

 

As some of you already said, there's nothing wrong with it as long as im ok with it either way. Even so, i know im missing out on a lot of things people my age are doing and the experiences/mistakes along the way such as handling relationships.

[Guest]

I do if given the chance or i find there's a 'spark' between us. But whether or not i chat up women, the majority of them don't interest me..regardless if they take up an interest in me or not.

 

Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough with them or giving them a chance for at least making the effort...again this is back to my 'take it or leave it' attitude. I think a problem might be im not exposing myself to more opportunities to meet women.

 

 

im a little bit of a loner..as i always have been most of my life. I have few friends but I prefer it that way, quality over quantity. But I can get along fine with people in any social setting. and usually would not turn down any invitation for social outings.

 

As for relationships...If i really chase a girl and am consistent, then im really into her. I would probably hope for it to turn exclusive at some point if we hit it off. If i find a girl interesting enough to have coffee with then i will ask, but if im not interested from the get-go likely there will be nothing between us other than coffee.

 

Thinking about the past, the girls i did date actually made as much of an effort as i did to see each other. I made the effort because there was an instant spark/chemistry upon encountering them for the first time. There werent games or anything of the sort.

 

As some of you already said, there's nothing wrong with it as long as im ok with it either way. Even so, i know im missing out on a lot of things people my age are doing and the experiences/mistakes along the way such as handling relationships.

 

 

that 'take it or leave it' works well if the first woman u need to do that with doesn't turn out to be the love od yer life - but, truthfull, i learned that lesson and have learned the highs and lows that love brings.

 

one thought, u have all seen what happened with me right? that's without all the other inside stuff i just got - it didn't phase me. actually picked me up so i can look at people and things differently now