herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 There was a thread a while ago about the MM who seemed to have the perfect life. That's my family. If you look at the surface, you would think we had it all. Nice house in a great neighborhood, fours cars (why? I don't know), vacation house, kids in private school, etc. Both my H and I own our own companies, but I am able to do more charity work than paid work, because I can. I'm your typical soccer mom and my H is a very successful, handsome man. Sounds like a dream right? Well, it was certainly a dream that an OW wanted and did her best to get. Just remember, when you envy the person that you think has the perfect life, realize that you really don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
oyster Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 old saying, don't judge a book by it's cover my 2 cents, some things just come with the territory. If you want to play with the big dogs, be ready to be bitten and hurt.
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 old saying, don't judge a book by it's cover my 2 cents, some things just come with the territory. If you want to play with the big dogs, be ready to be bitten and hurt. I'm not sure I understand this, but if what you're saying is that because my husband is rich he will have more opportunities with women, I totally agree. That doesn't mean that he should have affairs and I should accept it. Since we are married, I'm just as wealthy as he is and trust me, if he ever does this again, I will be gone. Money is not an issue. He either loves me and wants to be with me, or he should leave, and vice versa. Also, we both contribute to the financial well being of our family. Neither one of us needs each other's money.
oyster Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I'm not sure I understand this, but if what you're saying is that because my husband is rich he will have more opportunities with women, I totally agree. That doesn't mean that he should have affairs and I should accept it. Since we are married, I'm just as wealthy as he is and trust me, if he ever does this again, I will be gone. Money is not an issue. He either loves me and wants to be with me, or he should leave, and vice versa. Also, we both contribute to the financial well being of our family. Neither one of us needs each other's money. money buys you more options, that's all. People don't realize this. money also attract different people and new social circles. Peer influence plays into.
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 money buys you more options, that's all. People don't realize this. money also attract different people and new social circles. Peer influence plays into. Yes, you are absolutely correct. Anything is possible if you have enough money. And, some people are attracted to those with money. I do believe that my H has a double whammy. He has money and is a charming man. I'm sure that his status was very attractive to the OW. When we first got married, we lived in a small apartment from pay check to pay check. We saved what we could, made good investments and built a great life. Our investment timing was everything. The more successful we became, the harder we worked and the more our marriage was neglected. Money can't fix that.
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Sorry HN I had to laugh. People only see what we want them to see. Of course everything looks great. What person wouldnt want the life they see you leading. But then..................................... watch what you wish for, ya just might get it!!!!!!!
lasan Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 The reason I started posting at this site was because my very good friend was having marital problems. He and his wife are very well off. They have the life everyone envies. Couple cars, big fancy house, vacations, even a couple dogs. No one who saw them together would ever guess that she was cheating on him. She is the perfect hostess kind of woman. Greets you at the door, smiles, takes your coat, gets you a drink. She is like June Cleaver. Well excpet the has several interet dating site profiles and has been having several affairs. Guess you never know about people.
Chapter2 Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I can't relate...my xMM isn't rich by these standards...I've never been attracted to money and certainly didn't want their life. I think everybody's life looks a certain way to the world but the reality is far different from what people know...
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Excuses, just excuses Excuses for what? I'm just pointing out that you never really know what kind of life someone has just by what you see on the outside.
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Sorry HN I had to laugh. People only see what we want them to see. Of course everything looks great. What person wouldnt want the life they see you leading. But then..................................... watch what you wish for, ya just might get it!!!!!!! It's OK to laugh BH. There are days that I laugh at it myself. All the money in the world can't fix the pain I felt when I found out my H was having an affair. Well, maybe ALL the money in the world, but nothing short of ALL.
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 It's OK to laugh BH. There are days that I laugh at it myself. All the money in the world can't fix the pain I felt when I found out my H was having an affair. Well, maybe ALL the money in the world, but nothing short of ALL. I have people quite often tell me they wish they had my kids. If they only KNEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
frannie Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Hmm... I don't think I've ever thought that the number of cars or houses someone has relates in any way to what kind of relationship they have. What am I missing..?
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Hmm... I don't think I've ever thought that the number of cars or houses someone has relates in any way to what kind of relationship they have. What am I missing..? I guess you're not missing anything.
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Hmm... I don't think I've ever thought that the number of cars or houses someone has relates in any way to what kind of relationship they have. What am I missing..? Its not about the relationship with those items. When you see couples dont you at times think " I wish I had a relationship like that "? We all do it at times. Her point is, people look at others and gauge what they have in life by what others have. Be it homes, cares, great kids, wonderful relationships. But people dont see what goes on out of the publics eye
frannie Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Its not about the relationship with those items. When you see couples dont you at times think " I wish I had a relationship like that "? We all do it at times. Her point is, people look at others and gauge what they have in life by what others have. Be it homes, cares, great kids, wonderful relationships. But people dont see what goes on out of the publics eye I suppose I've never thought that way. I never see what's to envy in another person's situation. Nothing is ever the way it seems to people not involved. In fact, the showiest people with the biggest and best this and that, and several different the others always seem to me to be lacking in something meaningful... otherwise why spend your life acquiring things..?
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Its not about the relationship with those items. When you see couples dont you at times think " I wish I had a relationship like that "? We all do it at times. Her point is, people look at others and gauge what they have in life by what others have. Be it homes, cares, great kids, wonderful relationships. But people dont see what goes on out of the publics eye Exactly. I guess she was missing the point of this thread. Life isn't always what it seems. Put anything you want in place of the house, cars, etc. and the point will still remain the same. My H has said that he has always tried to be what people expect him to be. To put on the facade for the public. To look the part. Now he is trying to be himself, and I have to say, I like him this way better. Unfortunately, the facade is probably what made him as successful as he is, so go figure.
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I suppose I've never thought that way. I never see what's to envy in another person's situation. Nothing is ever the way it seems to people not involved. In fact, the showiest people with the biggest and best this and that, and several different the others always seem to me to be lacking in something meaningful... otherwise why spend your life acquiring things..? I know a man and wife that have been married 27 years. To those who see them they look like the perfect couple. Even to listen to them on the phone they sound like newlyweds. Shes an alcoholic.
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 I know a man and wife that have been married 27 years. To those who see them they look like the perfect couple. Even to listen to them on the phone they sound like newlyweds. Shes an alcoholic. Whole other story there.
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 But makes the point. I have known them for 8 years. It wasnt until about 6 months ago when I made the comment to him in her presence that I hoped I would find a woman like her when he told me she was an alcoholic. I was shocked.
frannie Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 But makes the point. I have known them for 8 years. It wasnt until about 6 months ago when I made the comment to him in her presence that I hoped I would find a woman like her when he told me she was an alcoholic. I was shocked. Woo that was nice of him
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Woo that was nice of him She was a little upset about it, but she opened up about it a little bit after he said something.
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 But makes the point. I have known them for 8 years. It wasnt until about 6 months ago when I made the comment to him in her presence that I hoped I would find a woman like her when he told me she was an alcoholic. I was shocked. Yes it does make the point. I also have a friend that is married to an alcoholic and she has been trying to convince him that he has a problem. He has no idea he is an alcoholic and refuses to get help. You would never know it if you met him. He's a high functioning alcoholic.
lovernotafighter Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 There was a thread a while ago about the MM who seemed to have the perfect life. That's my family. If you look at the surface, you would think we had it all. Nice house in a great neighborhood, fours cars (why? I don't know), vacation house, kids in private school, etc. Both my H and I own our own companies, but I am able to do more charity work than paid work, because I can. I'm your typical soccer mom and my H is a very successful, handsome man. Sounds like a dream right? Well, it was certainly a dream that an OW wanted and did her best to get. Just remember, when you envy the person that you think has the perfect life, realize that you really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. my self and my exMM worked together...we both on the surface seem to have wonderful lives..we are on our way to lives of success. but I don't envy his life any more than he envy's my own. we intended on filling voids in each others lives here now...friends and lovers. we did not however intend on falling in love...but that is what ended up happening...I don't want his life I just want him. I am going to have a clean slate after my divorce,however he is gonna get a world of stress on many levels ,personally, emotionally, and financially. we discussed this and he asked me why would I except him and all the baggage he will bring to me...it's only because of love HN. are you certain his OW was truly after your life, or did she truly love him?
Author herenow Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 my self and my exMM worked together...we both on the surface seem to have wonderful lives..we are on our way lives of success. but I don't envy his life any more than he envy's my own. we intended on filling voids in each others lives here now...friends and lovers. we did not however intend on falling in love...but that is what ended up happening...I don't want his life I just want him. I am going to have a clean slate after my divorce,however he is gonna get a world of stress on many levels ,personally, emotionally, and financially. we discussed this and he asked me why would I except him and all the baggage he will bring to me...it's only because of love HN. are you certain his OW was truly after your life, or did she truly love him? I know after some time that she truly did love him. I think it started as an employee being smitten by her boss. He obviously didn't do anything to deter it. I do know that her feelings were real and she was very hurt when it ended.
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