Kelso Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Hello anyone - Me and my gf broke up about two months ago. I felt shattered after the breakup and thought it was the end of my life. Then I started to try to get her back, until just one day I became fed up with all my bull****. Although my ex is a wonderful person, I knew it from day one that this relationship wasn't gonna last for really long time, and certainly not for a lifetime. There were too many variables that would probably work against us (mostly me). However, some parts of me miss her terribly much. But I guess it's just the physical closeness and warmth she gave me while we were together. Well, I'm not here to talk about my ex or our relationship. I'm thinking about when I will be able to date again. I read that I should take time for grieving and that I shouldn't go on many dates for the first weeks, because everyone will need to grieve before they can move on. Some days, I really feel like I have moved on and I'm ready to date again. However, seeing my ex downtown this weekend was like a punch in the stomach and I realized that I'm probably far from over her. I've been text messaging this other girl and we've had a lot of conversations on MSN for the past month. It's a really cute girl ... but there is something missing here. When me and my ex were starting to date, I can remember all the butterflies in my stomach when I saw her come online. With this girl I actually don't give a **** if she talks to me or not, although she's cute, nice and kind. How long time can I expect to pass before I can move on for sure and start seeing other girls. It is so weird that I still have all these feelings for my ex, even though I am quite relieved that our relationship ended. Any advices are appreciated
CaliGuy Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 You'll be ready to date again when you are INDIFFERENT towards your ex.
nicki Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 What CaliGuy said is true. Indifference = over the person. It can take a long time to feel indifferent, though. I'd probably settle for the feeling of not wanting to get back together with her, under any circumstances. Because you know it will never work out. About the new girl you are talking to. Don't worry. I think that it is possible you aren't feeling "butterflies" because you are hurt and a bit bitter about relationships -- which is completely normal right now. If you broke up two months ago, you may have grieved enough. Going out and having fun can take you a long way down the road of recovery. I wouldn't consider having a relationship with anyone until you feel the "indifference," but you may be ready to date. Just make sure you are honest with a woman and tell her that you are getting over a relationship and need to take things slow....then do that yourself. So many guys fall head over heels for a new woman to get over the old woman. But the feelings aren't real yet. I don't think that is fair to the new girl. Go slow, have fun. Date again.
KittenMoon Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Maybe you'll be ready to date again when you find someone you want to date. Doesn't sound like this girl interests you much. Why not just try to meet some new people (male and female) and make new friends (again, male and female, because you never know when a friend could become something more). Remember, you are under no obligation to date just because you are single.
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