EightyEight Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I REALLY need some outside advice, esp from people who have experienced the brave new world of online dating. I met this guy via a dating site about 1-1/2 months ago. We've been out a bunch of times, I met his family, we've been intimate. I am totally falling for him. He hasn't asked for exclusivity, and neither have I - directly at least. We both talked about what we want from "a relationship" - not specifically THIS one - early on, and we're both looking for a long term monogamous relationship. EVERY single sign this guy is giving me says that he's as into me as he can be. I have been in love before, but I can honestly say I feel like somebody hit me with a truck after meeting him. The problem? He's still logging into that dating site - yup, I checked, I admit it - and after hanging out all this weekend, he added a lot more detail to his profile after I left yesterday. I don't have a profile on any of those sites, so he's not logging in to see if I'm logging in, like some of the similar threads suggested. I don't know if I have a place to say anything, or if I should just scrap this relationship (which hasn't been "defined" in the first place) before I get my heart broken (which is what will happen if I let myself get any closer to him). Just seeing that he updated the profile pretty much ruined my day after flyin' high off this weekend. I know I should talk to him, but I have no clue what to say and I don't want to appear stalkerish or clingy....I just want him to myself at this point. (And I know, I should have done this sooner.) What do you think? What do I say?
barfool Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 Well, if you haven't asked for exclusivity then you really have no room to be upset. You can't expect him to know that you're feeling this way unless you flat out tell him. Of course, with that comes the risk of rejection but it's better than silently aching over his behavior.
Krytellan Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 I agree with Barfool. If you want exclusivity, the only way to get it is to talk about it. Until then, there is no room to get worked up over the profile thing. He may just be doing it in case you up and bail on him (yes, women do that ya know...).
silentalways Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 who are u talking about? u mean this site?
luvtoto Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 If you need to ask or tell him to take his profile down, then he ain't worth keeping around. I think that's a clear sign as to how he feels about the relationship you two have. IMO, it's a red flag. Do NOT fall for this guy until you know better where you stand with him.
Sand&Water Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 RE: You should calm down. Don't place yourself in a harsh spot. Rationally think about what you want to do. A few ideas to take into consideration: (A) I don't think he is being serious about all this romance/dating. (B) He is testing out the waters. Trying to lay his hands on as many "Gold-Plated" women as possible. The search isn't over for him. © He and you have progressed rather quickly in a month or so, hence it might fizzle out just as quickly. (D) He's innocently treading through this so as to experience as much thrill as possible. I suggest you meet up with him for drinks/dinner, and talk as you normally do. In the midst, ask him IF he is serious about dating at this point in his life and whether you, EightyEight, have a chance at being his girl [exclusiveness]. Be firm, self-aware, confident but also compassionate. Don't drap/sleep on this for too long. Better to know early on, where you stand. Best of Luck. Sand&Water
silentalways Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 i thought i took off plenty and lava the other day? would u like the pleasure of removing the one left:? i have had a couple of disappointing days - daughter, and few other things but i am glad i did a mini rant earlier lots of people stepped up to the plate - congrats ever makes a difference i apologize for not being at my best - but i will when u are ready and i will not be dating...i will be waiting for someone special. i am greedy - i want just u all tooo myself. and i don't have a magic wand but i do have a louiville slugger [wink] now getting back to trust issues - just so u know, there is nothing that i hide from u so u can ask anything and i have no problems with passwords etc. in fact, i will be giving u the medical stuff etc. and i just scanned a pix of... g
Krytellan Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 i thought i took off plenty and lava the other day? would u like the pleasure of removing the one left:? i have had a couple of disappointing days - daughter, and few other things but i am glad i did a mini rant earlier lots of people stepped up to the plate - congrats ever makes a difference i apologize for not being at my best - but i will when u are ready and i will not be dating...i will be waiting for someone special. i am greedy - i want just u all tooo myself. and i don't have a magic wand but i do have a louiville slugger [wink] now getting back to trust issues - just so u know, there is nothing that i hide from u so u can ask anything and i have no problems with passwords etc. in fact, i will be giving u the medical stuff etc. and i just scanned a pix of... g What??? You scare me sometimes Silent... is there something I'm missing?
luvtoto Posted December 13, 2006 Posted December 13, 2006 What??? You scare me sometimes Silent... is there something I'm missing? Just block 'em.
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