MTK Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I've been taking things slow with a girl "A" after meeting her in mid-Sept. I asked her out, she gave me an answer that she wasn't looking for a relationship right then, but she kept talking to me and vice versa. I do want a relationship with her, but this other girl, "B", who I have never talked to or really thought about came on to me while we were partying and we went back to my room for the night. I have tried to avoid B a little because I did not want to start anything up with her and realized it was a mistake the first time around. Last night during the dorm parties, she came onto me again and I told her I wasn't sure how I felt, and she kept saying it was ok for me not to like her, etc. -but I didn't want to be a jerk to her since we slept together once before and make her feel like she was used. What is the best way to tell the girl who is pursuing me that I'm just not interested and want to stay friends. Just telling her up front? She is extremely shy, and has never talked to me in class, but she comes onto me at parties, and the people I associate with seemed to try and set me up with her last night again.
amaysngrace Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 What is the best way to tell the girl who is pursuing me that I'm just not interested and want to stay friends. Just telling her up front? Yeah I think the direct approach is best. It's better than leading her on or letting her think you two are a couple. I wouldn't even suggest being her friend really. This could give her false hope. Unless you really like hanging out with her and see her as a friend of yours..? I wouldn't really think of a one nighter as 'you using her'... ...maybe she used you
yongyong Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 just be careful, If A knows about this, then it's over (whatever your true intention is....)
gfto Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 just be careful, If A knows about this, then it's over (whatever your true intention is....) It's already over with A. In fact, it never even started. B is very interested in him; A couldn't care less about him.
crazy_grl Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 What is the best way to tell the girl who is pursuing me that I'm just not interested and want to stay friends. Just telling her up front? She is extremely shy, and has never talked to me in class, but she comes onto me at parties, and the people I associate with seemed to try and set me up with her last night again. Be honest with her. If she knows you don't like her, she'll probably stop liking you and move on. Saying "I'm not sure." just leaves it open ended and lets her think that you do like her. The sooner you tell her you're not interested, the less emotionally involved she'll be. Yeah, it sucks to have that a guy you like (and slept with) reject you, but it sucks a hell of a lot more to get mixed messages from him and pursue him for months thinking he's interested then find out he never was. Before I learned to interpret "I don't know" as an absolute "no", I had guys I liked pull that kind of thing with me. I'll never forgive them for stringing me along, but I would've understood if they had just said they weren't interested from the beginning.
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