AZKHO Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Here is a brief history. I have posted many months ago about this issue. I have had two MM before this one that i have now. One of them was seperated and I lived with him for about 4 months. Then he moved and i moved, but ended up divorcing his wife, so i guess that was valid. Just a relationship that didn't work out. Then his friend, whom was not married, but was dating a girl and had a kid with her. Then he came to visit me and i realized that he wasn't the one for me. I am still friends with him, even though we did have a sexual and probably emtional relationship. He married and is now divorcing. But through it all we have been very good friends. Give advice on everything and i talk to him about men. Its a very comfortable friendship....so! To bring everyone to present. I babysit for a man and his wife. They have 2 young boys, which are HIS step children. And i have become friends with them of course. Well in March the GUY started making advances toward me and i declined them. But the more i got to know him and the situation, i gave in at the end of September after discussing that it will be just sex. Nothing more and it will be on a business level. He has tried to hook me up with some of his friends, but nothing has worked so far. We are still having sex together, which is AWESOME, and strange enough i don't feel bad anymore about doing it. Though this is my newest concern... I think that he is getting feelings for me and i may be getting them for him. We have never kissed, but when driving with him the other night, i said that he had sexy lips and he said why dont you ever kiss them. I said i thought he wanted to keep it business causual, no feelings and he didn't say a word. We can spend time together un noticed because i am like a part of the family. The kids really look up to me and nothing seems out of the ordinary. He just did me a huge favor, money wise, in a way, i don't want to elaberate as i don't know the people who read this(its a small world) I am friends with his wife and when he says that they NEVER have sex, i know he is telling the truth because, she tells me the same thing. That she has no sex drive and they haven't had sex in 6 months. So, not that that should validate the affair, but i don't know what exactly i have gotten myself into. My life functions as normal. And i use him a booty call type too,but he is the only one i am sleeping with. I just wanted to know is it possible to do this and move on with life and no one finds out for the sake of not losing good friends?/? And i don't want it to end right now. I am a pretty girl with lots of male attention..what is my problem with keeping getting involved with these married men??? Especially in this case being the babysitter? Advice not rude comments please
GreenEyedLady Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Uhhh, what do you mean by "business level?"
Rooster_DAR Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I would be concerned why it seems you keep targeting married men. This sounds like a wreckless and damaging pattern.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 You should probably move this to the OM/OW forum...
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 ..what is my problem with keeping getting involved with these married men??? Especially in this case being the babysitter? Advice not rude comments please I'm not joking - You need to find out why you're only going after married men and can't say no to them when they make a move on you. It's wrong and you've been down this road enough times to know how it will end. I strongly suggest you going to therapy and figure this out! You are lacking something, whether it be you feel you don't want a long term committed relationship with someone who can love you fully or you feel like you're not worthy - I do not know... I won't comment anymore because I don't want to be rude, but I will say this. Imagine how his wife is going to feel if and when she finds out about you? Not only have you betrayed her, but their children as well. And the MM should be ashamed of himself too!
Madeamistake Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 You will never find eternal happiness with married men! Get yourself some help and change your mind set! Even if they are on the verge of a divorce, they will never commit to you completely and just need a "cushion" to lean on! Good luck!
Trialbyfire Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Yup, definitely commitment phobic and selfish to boot. You have some serious issues to work on if you feel this is healthy and normal. The damage someone like you can cause is similar to when a pebble is thrown into water. The ripples can go on forever. If none of this bothers you, consider your name on the divorce petition and an ex-wife who wants a pound of your flesh, the bloodier, the better. Trust me, she won't be making the same error as the Merchant of Venice because she will have some high-powered lawyer to ensure that it all goes well for her.
Marcus as the Peanut Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 seriosly try to get some help!!
jmargel Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Don't take this the wrong way but you are immature because the only thing that excites you is not the man, but the challenge. How old are you? And yes, afraid of commitment as well. Re-read your post. You won't find happiness in someone else's husband. If by chance one leaves his wife for you, you'll have the same problems of him cheating on you. This is not the life to live, and you will end up hurt and lonely in the end. However, that's your decision. I would think individual counseling for you is needed before things get worse.
No Way Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Don't take this the wrong way....Your a cheap,empty headed, low life and you belong on the other woman forum. You give us insight on how insensitive and self centered those tramps are who make themselves available to our husbends. Placeing yourself so close to a vonerable family without any feelings of regret. Just weak rationalizations and ME ME ME ME. Business sex??? Prostitute....You may as well turn a profit. The kids look up to you. Your a flake and I hope for the children you are found out and she gets a piece of you. Read all the posts. We all think there is something so seriously wrong with you. You don't need any help. Someone as dumb as you never benefits from professional help. Your a Sociopath. You do not care about ANYONE but your own imidate needs. Thats all you will ever be. I wish you came with a warning lable.
No Way Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 You were anticopateing respect. That just proves how disconected you are to the reality of your sick existance no matter how you rationalize it to yourself. Now switch over to the other woman forum so we dont have to deal with your wierd plea for advice and understanding.
lasan Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Please No Way....tell us how you really feel. (sorry couldn't resist lol) As to the Op: You already know your relationship is wrong, so I won't beat you up about that. Why you want a married man, I don't know. Maybe you should talk to a counselor to help you sort that out. What I do know is that you have a big messy situation on your hands that is only going to get messier when his wife finds out.
Mustang Sally Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Casual Sex + Married Man = Oxymoronic
pureinheart Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 I have a friend that targets MM, and it might sound like a commitment issue, although she sincerely wants these men for a commitment relationship. In her case I think she wants what doesn't belong to her, the thrill of taking a man away from his W....for what reason I don't know, possibly to make her feel better about herself. I just got out of a really bad situation, one that should not have happened and runs against everything I know to be right and true. First, ask yourself if this is proper life style (A with MM)...then get real with yourself....I ask myself this...what kind of signals am I sending out...still questioning that because MM hit on me all of the time and it is really pissing me off....is it just the times we live in where anything goes? No need for morals? Is it the age group I'm in (men over 40, midlife crisis)? Whatever it is I want it gone yesterday! Move that addiction to drama and be happy!
Author AZKHO Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Well first off i wanted to say that i thought that i erased this post from the infidelity. Cause i did move it to the OW/OM forum. Sorry that you had to read it anyway. I know that all of you think that this is wrong. And i would in some ways agree. But it is just casual sex. Otherwise we have a regular friendship. And i have decided to get some help. I understand that i am extrememly commitment phobic, very selfish, and have been a victim of an OW's ways in the past and i think i have been emotionally damaged from the whole thing. I lack the tools to emotionally connect. As far as me and the current MM, i am going to tell him that we can't have sex anymore for the sake of his W's children. I no longer want to put myself in the situation where i can be the one that they can blame for problems in their adult life's. Thank you for all your negative and rude comments! I will make sure that i keep my posts on the OW/OM forum.
Mustang Sally Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Hey, all I'm saying is that sex with a married man is usually anything but "casual." Too much other baggage....
crazy_grl Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Thank you for all your negative and rude comments! I will make sure that i keep my posts on the OW/OM forum. Considering you were posting on the infidelity board, I think you got some pretty non-judgemental and supportive advice. I think there were 2 insulting posts out of like 15. You chose to focus on the negative ones and completely ignored the ones trying to help. The reason I point this out is because it seems like something someone who loves drama would do. IME, drama-seekers have self-esteem/self-worth issues, which is probably the same thing that's causing you to seek out married men.
MOMMIE Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 No Way..You are so, so funny!! I had been crying today because I had to break up with my baby, but you have me laughing so hard I'm crying... **OW is this made up? It sounds like a fantasy or something....Word of warning if it's true....We all shall reap what we sow.....
Author AZKHO Posted December 12, 2006 Author Posted December 12, 2006 No it is not a joke, but it does sound like a fantasy. And, i am not focusing on the negitive. I know its not a good thing. Not socially correct. Thank you for all the words of advice. I post on here for that very purpose.
Madeamistake Posted December 15, 2006 Posted December 15, 2006 No it is not a joke, but it does sound like a fantasy. And, i am not focusing on the negitive. I know its not a good thing. Not socially correct. Thank you for all the words of advice. I post on here for that very purpose. One thing that worries me is the fact that you view what you do as being socially incorrect. Do you not think that it is more to do with morals and self respect? Not judging, just asking.
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