suchislife Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Well, I finally found out why he got the HIV test... If you read my former posts, the mad texter apologized for not staying in contact over Thanksgiving. He was stressed and depressed. He told me he got the test a week after T-giving. Now, wouldn't most people think there was a reason someone would let you know that? He started texting me in the morning before work, after work, at night. etc. Finally, today he told me he asked Santa for something but he didn't think he was going to get it. The whole time he has been sexting me like crazy, since last week. So, I got brave and asked him what he wanted, "buddies" or what? He said "nothing". He didn't mean to lead me on with all the sexting - it was just a joke ( for months?) and he doesn't have time. He said I did this to myself - that texting is nothing more than that. He's right. It isn't. I knew that, that's why I was asking. What he did was wrong, and mean, and a DEALBREAKER. You don't lead someone on for months, and not tell them what is up. I asked back in October - or around there, and he said he wasn't sure what to do with me. So, I called, and of course, he didn't answer - he never answers when anyone calls, and I told him he lives in a different world than I do. Most people would take sexual innuendo and texing day and night as a sign of interest. If it hadn't gone on for so long, I would have blown it off myself. He just gets cold feet whenever we get close and this is what he does. I wasn't done. For months I've kept quiet and tried to be laid back and understanding. I emailed his private address and told him what he did was really, really mean, and that I suspect he got off on the sexting and that was it. I said some other things, but I'm too upset right now to write it. What I wrote wasn't terrible - it won't sink in anyway. I could deal with all of it if he had been up front when he made the decision, instead of doing this. If I had come to a decision about someone, I would have told them right away. I asked now, because I didn't want my Christmas to be affected. I have a great family and friends and they wondered why I was upset at T-giving. It's better that I know. I need some moral support very badly. I feel terrible. I really, really cared about him. I have never had to deal with something this weird.
Author suchislife Posted December 10, 2006 Author Posted December 10, 2006 I know I'm not being patient. I just don't have anyone to talk to. Please help me out.
Ssheena Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I'd have to go back and read your other posts as I've forgotten them right this sec but I wanted to send you some moral strength and compassion RIGHT NOW as it seems like you really need it. I would have thought the same thing myself. He's been using you and avoiding telling you the truth and I bet he knew how you felt and what you were hoping for. What a jerk. I don't blame you for writing him a letter/email either. I think the lesson you need to take away from this is to listen to your instincts and not ignore the red flags. I've had to learn this and still am, the hard way. If you had pushed for an answer way back when, you would have been able to make a decision then instead of now. He has been taking and taking and taking all you have been giving and not returning anything to you. He's a jerk (and all the other words I can think of too). He's not even a friend to you. Would you treat anyone like he is/did? If I were there I'd kick him for you.
silentalways Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 sorry i am not sure what to add here really because to be honest folks i think i am pretty freaking close to being fully and completely done with forums, internet, anything computer related time to get some fresh air again - how long was that? 5 years? no wonder i am so pale hmmmm...maybe i should dates not dating someone now. been kinda busy cleaning, tidying and gettingt my house in order. i did 'try' dating a while back, and that worked out reeeeeeeeeeeeal good! NOT! i think i slept thru most of that anyways [relapse period - i does believes] so, i am on a dating site but am i looking to date someone i know nothnig about right now? probably not. but hey, if some babe comes up to me and askes me out, geeee, wonder what i should do? i've just kicked a bunch of people to the curb so i thought it would be nice to actually talk with people and go out every once in a while. nothing fancy, but, i had to get out of that flipping house that is by the way actually sold - i now have to find another one fairly quicky. oppppppppppsy. why is it always me that gets caught with my hand in the cookie jar [btw - the facts of that ecg post are correct - until the messing in action part]
Author suchislife Posted December 10, 2006 Author Posted December 10, 2006 Ssheena, Thanks for replying. I have my coping strategies in place, because I thought this might be coming. He's done this before, not so blatent...but, it fits the pattern of getting really close for almost 2 weeks and then pushing me away. So, everything is deleted, I can't text him, took his phone # out, etc. I called my back up friends and told them, they are very supportive. I had discussed this with some new friends of mine and they did not think I misunderstood anything. So, I'm moving forward. I protected myself this time and am calling it as I see it. If someone isn't interested, come out and say it - unless you are afraid the other person will survive and survive very well. Thanks, please keep the posts coming. I would like to get some feedback. I want to keep this post going through the week and then I'll be ok. I'll have some very bad moments, but it will be ok. I just can't believe the audacity of him trying to lay all this on me. He has no idea what he has lost. Good news is, I know, very quietly, that I will be ok. I did a lot of thinking over Thanksgiving. It will only be hard the first week. Please write.
silentalways Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 speaking of medications [lol] not sure if anyone read a post earlier about a tiny bit of my recent past [somethings i would only say directly to my ex because it would be between us] but the night my daughter was taken away from me, i was served court papers and in the document there were 5 people that had sworn to tell the truth and nothing but the truth [they are court documents] and one person, a guy i had asked to 'help me' earlier, because then i wasn't gone yet, turns out he took notes of everything i said and two nights before the blow out, i am walking back from the mail box and the cops pull up and jump me, throw me against the car, and handcuff me. then while in the car i see on the screen that good ol rand had called them because he was worried i might 'harm' him - nice so, off to the hospital where doctors assess me for 3 hours and then let me go, by now, its 4 in the morning and i work at 7 - guess who doesn't go in. the next afternoon, my brother arrives from new zealand, and calls the cops to come and arrest me in my home. i was simply listening to old grac tunes and painting the cd cover on canvass off to another hospital, same thing but they decide its too late to release me another day work missed next day i go to pick up my daughter, have donuts and strawberry milkshake and i am told by my ex-wife that i can't do that and with my ex gf already complaining at school i get barred from coming even close to the school so, then i receive the court papers and i read the last entry - by the ex and i've just spent months and months searching and everything and the words just well, i don't remember - i just remember thinking that i have to make sure the ex is safe from me because she fears me, ex wife and duaghter fear me so i just try to get far away from where they are next thing i knew i am in the south end of town i have disabled my car, and running thru [peoples back yard - hoping over hedges, tossing my belongs away until i am covered in mud and brusies, my feet frozen red and cut and some guy tries to tackle me and i keep running then as i am running across a busy inter section two police cars sandwich me and i can't tell what they are, i have been running for hours, exhausted, beyond high on cocaine, and they had to really restrain me i am taken to the general hospital and start having the shakes because i feel safe i can relax and this nurse comes in and i start blabbing, can;t stop and she says....shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,its ok here and i stopped, and i said to her, i get it...see, i am learning another lesson and my ex would be proud of me...[because even in that state i controled myself] and she smiles and injects me with something i don't ask, too tired and then it is really quiet and i get off the bed and as god is my witness i thought i had died and that i was now in what place u go when u die because i have no idea what the date is i see newpapers but i don't recognize any of the events because i have been searching for the ex for months and it confuses me. i start crying. i thought i was dead. then, the old me, being me, goes ok. i'm dead - lets snoop around. kewl eh. i didn't freak two days later, in the same clothes, still dirty, my mom and dad pick me up lovely eh
Recommended Posts