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Posted

Extremely Concerned

 

Hello,

 

We apologize for such a long letter but we are trying to locate a member of our family. We are extremely concerned for his well-being and safety. This is an urgent matter.

 

We have not been about to locate him today and it would appear that he has not been at his home for quite a while. We received a phone call from a Real Estate Agent telling us it appeared that his house had been broken into. We were not made aware of the fact that he was selling his house. When we arrived at his house, the company lawn sign had been pulled up and broken, and the front door knob is missing. His home was not locked. When we went inside, his home looked liked it had been vandalized but we believe it was done by him.

 

There was food on the floor in every room in his house, and packed boxes that had obviously been reopened and most of the contents cut or ripped up. The laundry room sink was plugged and filled with various items. His bedroom window had been taken off and personal papers regarding medical, financial and personal document were everywhere. We discovered that somehow he had obtained the letters we had sent to his doctor about our concern and we found the medical records from the hospitals we had him committed to for assessments. We do not know how these were obtained. We also found copies of his Will and Investment papers which have been recently altered indicting, in case of accidental death anything capital remaining from these and his estate, and retirement funds be turned over to his ex gf and daughter. These had been signed but we are unable to correctly identify if it is indeed his signature on these documents.

 

We found chunks of what we believe nasal issue everywhere in his bathroom and blood in the toilet. In a spare room, we found some cocaine in open view and all the cards we assume he would keep in his wallet cut up. He has a music room downstairs and we found his acoustic guitar smashed with photographs attached to the shattered pieces. There were many beer and wine bottles in the room, as well, as a painting, we believe we was doing at some time, and it is the same as one of the CDs he recorded just recently. We are extremely concerned because we found some drug instruments that go beyond cocaine. He has been telling everyone that he went back to work, after being off for the last three months, and we were able to contact his supervisor at home, and she has been trying for months to get a hold of him, and because he hasn’t contacted his employer, they deemed he had abandoned his job and no longer has employment.

 

We contacted a number of his friends, and some say that they have not seen him in over 6 months. We contacted the neighbor he told us was his sponsor and he said he hasn’t seen him or his car at the house in over 5 days. We believe he is in danger of harming himself right now or has possibly already done so. Three weeks ago we had to have him arrested and hospitalized three times in one week, and one of his friends that live on the same street said that he threatened him after he had called the police over a month ago because he had been exhibiting bizarre behavior, mainly paranoid and delusional statements.

 

His friend said he had come over one night with a Vitamin C bottle and various knick knacks and hardware and said that they were all listening devices which had been planted in his by various individuals whose name kept changing. His friend said that he told him that ‘people’ were out to kill his ex gf, ex-wife and daughter and that he was doing everything he could to ensure that they never get harmed. We were told that when he talks about these things he is extremely articulate at times and that they have seen him walking around the neighborhood often crying at all times of the day and night.

 

We were told that he has confided to them his cocaine usage and has been distraught about the lost of his gf who we believe moved out quite some time ago. We were told that he appeared tortured and grief-stricken over the fact that it was his fault she left and has said that he was not only abusive to his gf, but that he had consumed drugs in the house while they were there. He has told them that he believes his cocaine usage is connected to these facts and while he has never mentioned to anyone thoughts of suicide, he has emailed family members in New Zealand and Ontario that he is in constant pain and that he is very ill.

 

We understand that he made an appointment at a clinic regarding damage he has caused to his body thru extremely heavy usage and this has been confirmed. We also know that he simply walked out of his addiction program 3 months ago and has not been seen there since.

 

We, and his friends, have watched his health decline as his remorse for the breakup of the relationship with his ex gf increases. We believe this relationship to be at the root and the underlying source for his continued decline. It is our understanding his ex gf does not wish to have any contact with him and that she is extremely worried about her safety and has filed many spousal abuse reports with the police against him. He has told us he doesn’t understand why this is happening, he is aware that she wants no contact, but he has continued to make small gestures towards her. We know that this has caused him great agony as we have always known how much he loves this woman, although we have only met her a few times over a 3 year period. We are unable to be entirely certain of what the relationship was actually like but all he has ever told us are positive things about his ex gf, how much he loves her, and how happy he was with her.

 

He has already missed work over the last two years as he suffered from a serious depression and that is when we are told he started using cocaine. We have contacted his friends and they all confirmed that they have seen him using but that it was extremely rare that he did. They have said that they noticed and were pleased that he had conquered his drinking problem and have rarely seen him drink more than one or two beers when visiting. During the time he started getting depressed, he has told us that he did not want to take time off because he felt that he was ok, but that people at work felt he should take a couple of months off, and he has said that he only committed to doing so because his ex gf had voiced her concern.

 

We noticed the big change in him, a gradual decline, but quite noticeable for him, in his confidence and sense of humor, and attendance at social functions, which coincided with his ex gf moving in with him. He also noticed that he has started to fixate on the demise of the relationship and has told us that is causing him great pain and believes he will never forgive himself. We do know that as soon as his ex gf started filing police reports, his health declined dramatically and he appeared despondent and lacking focus often. He once told us that he had been trying to contact her because he believed, at that time, that her behavior towards him was as a result of the fact his ex gf is suffering from PTSD and that if she was not ill she would never be doing this. We do not know where he obtained this information or if it is even true. But we believe this is when he started having delusional thoughts. We have not contacted his ex gf to verify this. However he has confided in one family member that he was seeing a physiatrist last winter and that it had nothing to do with the relationship and that he was doing so to resolve issues relating to his marriage.

 

We are unsure of when or the reason of the end of his relationship, but we did not discover this fact until we went over one day and his home was empty and he was found sitting in a chair in his bath robe in the middle of winter. He would not tell us what was going. During the summer he admitted to family members about his cocaine usage and how he had been ‘punishing’ himself because of his behavior during his depression and because it is his addiction to cocaine which ended his relationship. However when he was telling us these things, he appeared fine and was always upbeat at the time, looked healthy and told us that it was part of his responsibility to accept blame for the breakup of the relationship.

 

On two occasions he has said his is extremely disappointed and believed that once he recovered from his depression that he was going to be married and he told us that his ex gf had done everything a future wife could possible do under those conditions and he mentioned that he was suffering from abandonment issues. We could not confirm whether this was a professional assessment or his own. We have seen his symptoms get progressive worse for over a year and he is have told us he is confused and does not understand why his ex gf refuses to speak with him. About one month ago, he began isolating himself and using the internet to find out if his ex gf might send him a message.

 

Apparently this is when he relapsed and started posts on various web sites and blogs about his relationship and he said he believed that she occasionally went to these sites and that they were working through their issues that why. We asked him to verify this and we saw no evidence of this, in fact, we saw nothing at all that we could associate with her, and we started voicing our concerns. He began very upset and said he is doing his best to somehow repair the damage he caused but is limited in how he can contact her and we have told him that he has been already warned by the police that he is to have no contact with her. He often cried when discussing this, and asked us to leave him alone.

 

In one week, he was taken to the hospital three times, twice by police who arrested him at his home and he has not resisted arrest. He has told us that he extremely disappointed in his own family having him arrested and feels everyone on his street believes he is some kind of criminal. It was during one of these weeks that a number of his friends, ex gf, and ex wife, filed a court order to remove his daughter from his care, and that he start paying child support, and that he no longer has co-;parenting right. CAS had been informed, and authorities at his daughter school. He was court ordered to certain restrictions. He showed up on a Tuesday at the school as he had not been served the papers yet and his ex wife met him there to tell him about this. His ex wife said that he appeared stunned that she, his friends, and his ex gf, had done this as he had already spoken with his ex wife and told her that his daughter should stay with her until he got things in order and better. She says that when he left, he told her that he no had nothing left to fight for, got in his car, and drove off.

 

He was picked up late in the early hours of that evening, wearing only pants and a T-Shirt. Police could not locate his car, wallet, shoes, belt, glasses, watch, thumb ring, socks, and he told them that he had been chased for many hours by ‘some people’ that were trying to kill and the ones he loved and that he was leading them away from these people and willing to die for them. He was brought to the General Hospital and assessed and was kept in hospital for two days. Once released he appeared to be aware of his situation but refused to talk with anyone. We did not see him again for 3 days and become concerned because he had not contacted anyone so we had police arrest him on a Form 2 and taken away to another hospital.

 

Upon release he told us he is working on resolving all these issues. He told us that he needs us to support him and understand that he is under a lot of stress, as he now has work, child, lawyer, addiction, counseling, therapy, activities to complete and an extremely brief period of time to do so. He has said he has no-one that will support him and that everyone he knows views him only as a low-life cocaine addict and that his ‘standing’ in the community has been forever altered. He has said we are to never contact him again and we are told he has told this to others as well.

 

We believe he is might do something nobody wants and we are posting this on this web site because in her court papers, his ex gf says he has come online and constantly harassing her and making up stories that are not true. If you have seen anyone posting comments that are similar to this please ask him to contact his family.

 

Thank you.

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