Were Do We Go From Here???

[Myheartisbroken]

Hi!I met my ex back when we were in grammar school:love:.We became the best of friends and as time passed,my feelings became stronger.We were the whole childhood sweethearts,and were inseperable.Broke up a couple of times,just cause we acted dumb sometimes,but NEVER cheated on eachother.But we ALWAYS remained friends when we had our hard times.About a year ago we went through some HARD THINGS:( that caused me to get very upset with him,because he had hung out with a girl and didnt tell me about it,since im a very JEALOUS person,he was kinda afraid to tell me.But i found out and we broke up because of it.He never talked to her again,and we remained friends..ive tried to work on my jealousy issue,because i want him to feel like he can tell me things,but i also still feel somewhat mad he lied to me,because it was wrong either way,even if he didnt do anything else but hang out with her.He shouldnt had lied about it,and been honest.Idk why but the thought of him even talkin to a girl,makes me feel so insecure,like he wants someone else.This guy has proven himself to me,always been there for me, since we were 13 years old,my support system,my best friend,makes me feel sooo comfortable.We are now 19,attending college,and we have really started to get along even better,on a more mature level,and acted nicer to eachother.He sees me everyday,doesnt fall asleep without callin me every night,tells me he loves me all the time,and we are NOT seein OTHER people,and not to mention i love his family,and my family knows i love this guy.But since we broke up a year ago when that "crap" happened,we havent OFFICIALLY gone back together.Its weird cause i still act like his gf most of the time,and he still treats me like one.Ive told him twice how i wanna have a RELATIONSHIP again,and make it official.He told me wants the same, and that we will,but to wait,that later.Its been almost a year and NOTHING!i dont get it,and its startin to bother me a lot.Its like we should be passed the hey wanna be my gf etc..But i dont wanna play the part of a gf,and kiss and have sex etc..if hes not gonna commit to me.But for some reason i get weak,and i end up doing it,and so does he.Is this the reason why hes takin his time?I mean its not like hes interested in havin sex all the time or anything,hes ALWAYS been pretty laid back with that stuff.But when it does happen i feel happy cuz i feel like were together,but when hes not around i think.WERE NOT TOGETHER wat am i doing??.Like i said we have gotten better tremendously,and were always spendin time together,so why is he finding it so difficult to be officially a couple?and what can i do to make that happen,because its been too long,and i dont like it.How can i assure him things r gonna be better.I dont act as jealous as i did,and he knows im working on it,and he hasnt done anythin wrong other than that one time,so hes earned my trust too.So what is there to do?I dont wanna tell him again,and pressure him.I know he loves me a lot,and trust me so do i,but i wanna be sure we have somethin special,something SERIOUS again,even if he we have known eachother for a long time,i still deserve to feel secure about us,if im gonna give him that part of me.Any opinions??????