2sunny Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 when a partner walks ahead of you - consistently- in that regard without considering where you are or if you are enjoying each others company - they are essentially saying "I have the upper hand and I am happy to disregard you." it is a big power play!
pureinheart Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 This is so well said. The longer the A drags on the less likely a divorce will happen and the more confort the escape goats becomes for them not to leave the marriage. You know Oyster...this is what I hate the most....from the beginning I was the scape goat ....it is so dehumanizing....the sad thing is is that there has been NC now for over 3 mo and everyday MM blows up my phone. This is a complete lack of respect for me....this is not a person that just can't let go of undying love, it's a person that is desparate, trying to survive and doesn't care who gets hurt along the way.....
oyster Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 You know Oyster...this is what I hate the most....from the beginning I was the scape goat ....it is so dehumanizing....the sad thing is is that there has been NC now for over 3 mo and everyday MM blows up my phone. ..... by blowing up your phone, you mean he calls and calls and leave voice mails till you reach your voice mail quota?
Author ratingsguy Posted December 12, 2006 Author Posted December 12, 2006 More bad news. I found out that my MW had a 3 hour long seizure Saturday night while she was at a Christmas party. She's ok now, and was released from the hospital this morning. It was a mix of medication and lots of wine apparently. She's in good spirits though, just very weak right now. She told me that the events of that night finally woke up her H. He said that they would talk more after the holidays. She didn't explain what he meant by that, but knowing she already wants out of the relationship, I can't imagine that she's going to change her mind about staying with him. I'll tell you one thing, it really sucked not being able to visit her in the hospital. In a situation like this, as the OM, I feel completely helpless. All I could do was text, e-mail and call... and I did all three.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 That must be very difficult. Grand Mals take a while to recover from. I can tell you this. If things were not right for her to begin with then they will be back to the same soon... regardless.
Author ratingsguy Posted December 12, 2006 Author Posted December 12, 2006 If things were not right for her to begin with then they will be back to the same soon... regardless. What do you mean? I'm confused. I don't think it was a Grand Mal seizure, by the way. Typically they only last up to 5 minutes. This one went on for 3 hours!
stillhere Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I know what you mean about not being able to visit. I've had this discussion with my MM countless times. He always tells me that i'll be the first person he calls if something happens to him. It still sucks, regardless. I could go visit him with his brother, but i couldn't go alone. I have been the first one he calls for many many things so far, so i know he would keep his word. But i want to be there for him if something does happen. I hope she is feeling better really soon. It's a helpless feeling when the one you love is hurting and there is nothing you can do to take it away.
oyster Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 What do you mean? I'm confused. I don't think it was a Grand Mal seizure, by the way. Typically they only last up to 5 minutes. This one went on for 3 hours! I think she means that the hubby will be caring until she heals, back to old habits, and she should be on track to leave him
Guest Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 I speacilize in neurology. NO seizure lasts 3 hours. Moderator's Note: I spekalith in spelling.
pureinheart Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 by blowing up your phone, you mean he calls and calls and leave voice mails till you reach your voice mail quota? LOL....sorry oyster, I use a lot of my daughters terminology....he rarely leaves messages, but calls about 30 times a day (I can tell by the "missed calls" log) and it's been over 3 mo that I have had NC. He's gonna get himself busted by his W if he doesn't knock it off....I don't want to see that....just want to go on with my life and maybe someday forget this ever happened!
GirlFromOz Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 What I'm wondering is, how can someone be that cold? I often ask myself this question about those who betray & lie to their spouse.
frannie Posted December 12, 2006 Posted December 12, 2006 LOL....sorry oyster, I use a lot of my daughters terminology....he rarely leaves messages, but calls about 30 times a day (I can tell by the "missed calls" log) and it's been over 3 mo that I have had NC. He's gonna get himself busted by his W if he doesn't knock it off....I don't want to see that....just want to go on with my life and maybe someday forget this ever happened! Is it not possible to put his number on blocked on your phone?
Recommended Posts