I love him but i ended it because im hurt...did i do the right thing?

[NyC DaNcEr]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 15 months last night (friday night). We live in two different cities about 35-40 min away from each other because we go to different colleges. We have always fought alot because we are the arguing types but we have gotten through it. Anyways, i think that i have put up with alot from him. In september he broke up with me because he was turning 21 he thought i was smothering him and he wanted to go to the bars and whatever. It broke my heart. In october we got back together but its been hard for me because every time i see a sign that hes going to do that to me again i freak out of run. My dad left me and my mom when i was little so im really scared of being abadoned. Anyway, this past week he had finals and we didnt talk all week but he promised he was coming over on friday and staying at my apartment for the rest of the weekend. I told him i was happy that he was coming over to my apartment because i didnt want to go to his because all we do is drink with his roomates and im getting sick of that. So i was really excited all week to see him on friday because we didnt talk all week. So on friday i cleaned my whole apartment then cooked dinner for him for a surprise. Earlier he told me he was taking a nap and when he woke up he was going to come over. (Last friday he came over but feel asleep till 11pm and ruined the night) So i called him at 7pm and told him to wake up and to come over because i couldnt wait to see him. He started freaking out and had a horrible attitude because i woke him up (yet last weekend the fight was over him not waking up!) So then he told me he wasnt coming over. It really hurt because i was so excited all week, cleaned and cooked for him. So i just sat there all night so hurt because he just did show. I was so hurt because he broke a commitment to me. So i broke up with him. I was just so hurt and he didn't care. I even texted how hurt i was and how i made him dinner and he just left me alone by myself on a friday after he promised to be there, and all he said back was "ok."....Now its saturday and he waited till 4pm to text me. He said he still doesnt think he did anything wrong and hes not sorry but he wanted me to go over there tonight. I told him no way because he hurt me so bad last night and tonight he was supposed to be there too. All he was "oh well plans change." I mean i think i have a right to be really pissed that he does this all the time and breaks commitments. I really love him, and i broke up with him so he would change and to know how hurt i am every time he does this. But he dissappeard. He acts like he doesnt care that we are over. It hurts so much. I dont know what to do....If i drop it im scared he'll think he can just treat me however he wants and continue to do this. HELP

[mizzsmiley]

I really love him, and i broke up with him so he would change and to know how hurt i am every time he does this. But he dissappeard. He acts like he doesnt care that we are over. It hurts so much. I dont know what to do....If i drop it im scared he'll think he can just treat me however he wants and continue to do this. HELP

 

I sooo understand what you are going through. it's like everything thing you do to make the relationship work..seems one sided doesnt it? you feel like you are doing too much and he isnt doing enough. I broke up with my bf so he would have a chance to miss me and learn not to take me for granted anymore...i knew i didnt want to totally end things because i still love him. it's been 2 months and it seems like he doeesnt even care because he knows we're gonna get back together eventually. Why are guys so unemotional?!?! i think the key is communication. sit down and talk to him...find out if he really loves you or are you just there to keep him company?

[silentalways]

no way

 

did u break up with a guy because of those issues?

[broke up with my bf so he would have a chance to miss me and learn not to take me for granted anymore]

 

that seems like two issues easily solved within a relationship thru communication [spoken like everything is easy in a relationship - NOT]

 

but if those things were important enuff to you to break up with him, i am sure that he would recognize their impoartance lof them to you and ensure those things don't happen - i mean if someone tells u that and u keep doing it - the guy has to be on crack man

 

the positive side is that those are solvable issues - sounds like positive stuff

 

i think most people when something ends always think and fear the worse

 

i will not repeat the things i assumed [i would tell her and we could both laugh]