Meaplus3 Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Having trouble getting past the strong emotional connection I had with MM. The MM is my neighbor and this whole thing is just tearing me apart. Spoke with him on the phone the other day when he told me that little to NC was our best bet? Ok, I'll try that yet again for the third time now! Yes I know I need to move, or prhaps he should! But I am not leaving my town for why should I? The problem with it is I ran into him today at the hardware store. He said to me "Hello" then my name, then How are you? Why ask DUDE, if you want NC? The point I am trying to make here is forget the sex! We have an amazing emotional connection and it's driving me crazy that I can no longer share that with him if he want's little to NO contact. I know he doesn't really, he is just to afraid his wife will find out! AP:love:
whichwayisup Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 What has to snap you back to reality is your husband and your children...You have alot to lose, so does he if she finds out too. You don't have to say hi back, just wave and walk away. Accept that it's over and it's OK to miss his friendship but it has to be this way. Keep busier, reach out to girl friends, family and ofcourse your husband. Break the habit of thinking of him!
GreenEyedLady Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I agree with WWIU...if you plan on staying married to your H that is...
ratingsguy Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Man, that's a tough spot to be in. That's just as bad as still living with your ex... may as well be the same thing since you can throw a baseball from where you live and hit his house. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you both want this to end for good, one of you has to move. I can't see the two of you living next door to one another without something going horribly wrong. Good luck to you, though!
Chapter2 Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I agree. I had to leave the same town in order to accomplish NC. I knew my limitations and I could not trust myself to truly stay committed to NC without completely removing myself physically. I know moving is unfair, unjust, a tall order, a wrecking ball and a million other things...BUT...you have got to choose your poison. Do you want the pain of continued contact or the pain of complete NC with the chance to heal? Both are extremely painful but one of the options offers some form of hope and that's complete NC. I am in no way diminishing your pain...I know its absolutely gut wrenching. I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. Man, that's a tough spot to be in. That's just as bad as still living with your ex... may as well be the same thing since you can throw a baseball from where you live and hit his house. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you both want this to end for good, one of you has to move. I can't see the two of you living next door to one another without something going horribly wrong. Good luck to you, though!
Author Meaplus3 Posted December 11, 2006 Author Posted December 11, 2006 Man, that's a tough spot to be in. That's just as bad as still living with your ex... may as well be the same thing since you can throw a baseball from where you live and hit his house. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you both want this to end for good, one of you has to move. I can't see the two of you living next door to one another without something going horribly wrong. Good luck to you, though! Thanks for your advice and you are so right! I know that even if we hold onto to NC wich complete NC is just not possible, then we will have sex and probably get caught! The thing I know for sure is that MM has not had sex with me beacause I know that he knows that if we do it means he will want to leave his wife for me. He's to comfy with her salary and the perfect marriage image to destroy that! I know him very well. We have had a emotional affair for a long time now. What do people really crave that's missing in a marriage? The emotional connection! He knows as well as I do that we can give that to each other. I need to move and quick! AP
whichwayisup Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 What do people really crave that's missing in a marriage? The emotional connection! He knows as well as I do that we can give that to each other. The good thing is, once he is out of the picture, out of sight/mind, you CAN reconnect emotionally with your husband! All that emotional attachment you've felt for the MM nextdoor will go away and be focussed on your husband. I'm sure he's missing it from you as well - So together it's something you can work on and bring to life again.
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