judy Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Is that possible when you have an affair, and trying to avoid sex with your current spouse, however you couldn't? Are you supposed to be loyal to your affair buddy or to your spouse?
Touche Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 This is just very sad...are you serious with this question? Are you really asking a question about loyalty in the same breath that you mention an affair? What is wrong with this picture? Why not leave your spouse before starting something else? Wouldn't that make more sense?
Rooster_DAR Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 The more I read things like this, the more I know I don't ever want to be in a commited relationship again. This is just plain sad.
JamesM Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I will have to answer this question as asked..whether than give my opinion of the background. I am guessing Judy knows that already. Usually when one is in an affair, one has no interest in their partner. If sex is demanded, then do it because by not doing it, you may appear guilty of an affair...which I am assuming you don't want. If sex is desirable, then leave the affair. No loyalty is technically expected...or should be expected... by your affair buddy, because he or she already knows that you will cheat.
IpAncA Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Umm..what the? I think that the word loyalty went out the window the moment you started cheating. Just think you have to tell your H that he has to get tested. He's not going to be thrilled one bit. Especially if he gets something.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 The more I read things like this, the more I know I don't ever want to be in a commited relationship again. This is just plain sad. Then again, this is apparently the way western civilizaion is now. I guess I need to learn to be a cheater like everyone else if I'm to fit in. Lame
GirlFromOz Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Is that possible when you have an affair, and trying to avoid sex with your current spouse, however you couldn't? Are you supposed to be loyal to your affair buddy or to your spouse? Judy, Are you able to explain further your reason for this question? From reading your other posts it seems as though your ex cheated on you, but the way your question is worded, it sounds like you are now cheating on someone. Or are you now in a relationship with a married person yourself??? Anyway, just for the record, in my experience, when my husband was cheating on me we had even more sex than ever. Of course, when I finally found out, the OW said to me, amongst other things, "well, you never have sex with him!" LOL. From this, I think that not only do cheaters lie easily (as we all know), they do not feel bad at all about having sex with their spouse as well as their mistress(es).
rossi Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 My husband did the same thing.He was having sex with me three times to four times per week. On Saturdays in the afternoon he went to see the OW. Even one night he had sex with me and said that he loves me and in lest than 24 hours had sex with the OW. I would like to know whats going on in their mind while doing this. It is suppose to be diffe rithg? (Moderator's Note: I have no idea what "diffe rithg" is supposed to changed to.) I wish he never touched me while been with her. It make me sick to think about him putting his tool inside of me after or before been with her.
In Like Flynn Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 The confusing part is in her previous posts she describes herself as being single for the last two years with two kids????
Author judy Posted December 10, 2006 Author Posted December 10, 2006 I am still single. Not my story, but hers. She is having an affair with a coworker, they both think that is a real love, real thing. both not happy with their current spouse. Her affair buddy wanted to have a kid with her and she tried hard to avoid sex with her spouse. But failed couple times. Of course no excuses basically to have no sex with the spouse. Then she is pregnant now, and her affair buddy and her moved to live together , while both going through divorcing. Now several months later, her buddy need her to do a DNA test to prove that is his kid. He seems very cold and that is a big excuse now that he found out she had couple times sex with her spouse. And That is an excuse now he tried to dump her. Any good idea what wrong here?
Touche Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Geezzz, what's NOT wrong here? Sorry, I'm no help. I just wouldn't even know where to begin with this one!
TYASAFAHICSI Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 I think people in affairs will kick up the sex a notch with their spouses to amke it seem like they are not in an affair. Also, physically, when one is having sex more frequently (ie two partners) you naturally want it more. It is very difficult to say "no" to sex with a spouse unless you are on the way out. I think the guy she had an affair with is having 2nd thoughts about the kid and supporting it and her. So, he is grasping at straws to see if hopefully the DNA will prove that her hubby is the daddy. So, he is balking and running away. I mean come on, you KNOW you are in an affair..it is reasonable to assume the other party is haveing sex. I am sure that he was having sex with his wife!
whichwayisup Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Then she is pregnant now, and her affair buddy and her moved to live together , while both going through divorcing. Now several months later, her buddy need her to do a DNA test to prove that is his kid. He seems very cold and that is a big excuse now that he found out she had couple times sex with her spouse. And That is an excuse now he tried to dump her. They both cheated on their spouses, so I'm sure the trust level isn't really there...
Rooster_DAR Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Their partnership is destined for doom, as they almost always are.
Trialbyfire Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 Their partnership is destined for doom, as they almost always are. Exactly. To get into situations like this requires someone with a serious lack of self-worth to allow this to happen. It's not exactly acceptable, balanced behaviour.
Author judy Posted December 10, 2006 Author Posted December 10, 2006 What are the best advice to her about her pregnancy? What will happen to the kid if she keeps the baby?
GreenEyedLady Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 What are the best advice to her about her pregnancy? What will happen to the kid if she keeps the baby? I'm not sure what you mean, "What will happen to the kid?" She's the parent, she'll need to parent the baby...I think that she really should have thought about that before she decided to get pregnant by another man when she's married to someone else... The best advice for her: IS TO GET COUNSELING!!!
Rooster_DAR Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 She will have to raise the child of course. She is proably in for a very rough road ahead, and it will start when her husband divorces her and takes everything they own.
reservoirdog1 Posted December 11, 2006 Posted December 11, 2006 Are you supposed to be loyal to your affair buddy or to your spouse? The whole notion of worrying about "loyalty" to her OM would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
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