Guest Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 my girlfriend and i just broke up after 1.4 years. We go NC and a couple days ago i send her this big email. I went to see her at work because i wanted to know what the deal is where this is going. She tells me she doesn't love me like she used to, she doesn't find me attractive anymore and she doesn't want to put in any effort to make things work. Talk about a dagger in the heart eh? Well im hurting bad because i put the effort in for her throughout the relationship now she doesn't want to put any in now. She tells me she wants to PARTY, BE FREE, DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE, DOESN'T FIND ME ATTRACTIVE AND WANTS TO PUT IN NO EFFORT. Well my heart is broken bad, i know i should move on and if i keep thinking about her its kicking a dead horse. I took her off my myspace, facebook, aim, deleted her from my phone, but the terrible part is she works right next to me =/ i guess ill have to park on the long side of my work so i dont see hers =) Thanks for reading, the pain hurts =/
D-Lish Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 Yeah, I know it hurts like hell right now. But the pain will begin to subside once the initial shock of it wears off. You did the right thing by deleting her from everything. It helps to rid yourself of all the painful reminders. The day after my ex broke up with me I did the same thing- and I also tore up every picture, and packed all the stuff he left at my place and put it in my storage locker. I'll be honest with you, it's better to know how she truly feels. It's better to know than to be strung along. Keep yourself busy, rely on friends and family to get you through this. D
notmakingsense Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 I agree with D-Lish. It is much better to know exactly how she feels. You will be able to move on much faster than people who are dealing with Dumpers that are sending mixed messages or trying to soften the blow in other ways. As a "rejected" person, you will tend to hang on to any shred of hope -- making the coping part much longer and more difficult. So, be thankful that you know exactly where she stands. Use the hurt/anger to propel you in to the next phase of no-contact, getting back on your feet, having fun with friends and family, and eventually moving on fully.
Krytellan Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 Wow man, I know the type of girl. That sucks. Can you take solace in the fact the she is a complete bitch? That always worked for me. My ex-wife was so horrid that I was able to associate her with the urge to vomit with enough conditioning. It's amazing what we can trick ourselves into with enough effort. To this day I still cringe when I think of her... that takes time though.
Guest Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 We broke up because throughout our whole relationship she was talking to her ex and other guys as well. I found a message in her phone she sent some kid on thanksgiving of all days that said "why aren't you answering? I miss hearing the sound of your voice" Basically she turned 21 and now she tells me she doesn't want to be with me anymore and wants to PARTY AND BE FREE. That hurts. I think she needs to have sex with a few attractive people, not have the emotional fulfillment we had and in a couple months she'll call me. I'm not saying she will i might not ever hear from her again. Thats fine i don't care right now either way. Thanks for all the advice.
hollywood24 Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 We broke up because throughout our whole relationship she was talking to her ex and other guys as well. I found a message in her phone she sent some kid on thanksgiving of all days that said "why aren't you answering? I miss hearing the sound of your voice" Basically she turned 21 and now she tells me she doesn't want to be with me anymore and wants to PARTY AND BE FREE. That hurts. I think she needs to have sex with a few attractive people, not have the emotional fulfillment we had and in a couple months she'll call me. I'm not saying she will i might not ever hear from her again. Thats fine i don't care right now either way. Thanks for all the advice. I sure as hell WOULDN'T want her back if this is the case. F*ck that ho
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