justice Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling. I found and rented the perfect place, it's a snug little log cabin that sits in solitude and I'm all by myself with the exception of my dogs. I've been unpacking and putting everything where it goes. It feels good knowing that once I get things all straightened and set up that they will stay pretty much where I chose to put them. Before with "him" things would never stay clean no matter how much time I spent cleaning and organizing, Never. I even bought some new candles in a scent that I love but he could'nt stand. I know these are small things but they feel good to me. It's been so long since I could actually decorate or buy anything without talking to a signifigant other first. It's exhilarating. It's so cold outside today, I lit the fire in the fireplace and even though there are boxes everywhere, I finally feel at peace. I love this place. He hated fireplaces said they were to much work! Whatever. Yeah I'm kinda feeling smug. I don't feel any remorse or regret over my decision. There is a rightness about the whole thing that is just astounding. I also stocked the fridge with foods that I love. Am I being selfish to love this so much? No messages anymore. LOL I changed my number. I wonder how he is going to deal with having no electricity, water, phone or heat? I don't care really, those were in my name and I'm the one who paid them for both of us. I didn't even take the stuff we shared together, I chose to get all new blankets and dishes and the whole nine. He doesn't have a bed right now either, I bought mine before we were married and I love it so I took it with me instead of going new on that. I'm sure mama next door will be able to set baby up with anything he needs, she always did before so whats keeping her from doing it now? She's welcome to reattach the apron strings again. I hope he chokes on them. LOL sorry I'm in a good mood. Am I mean?
che_jesse Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 Good for you! You deserve better then him and I'm glad you really know that.
Guest Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 good evening... (I am the women who posted about the 29 year affair..) A log cabin sounds lovely.. I admire you for finding the inner strength to leave and do whats best for you.. If I did leave him, I think I would like to move close to this little beach town called Ocean Isle Beach, (is close to where my sister lives she retired there)It Is relatively close o Myrtle beach, but not crowded and commercialized,just a nice unspoiled beach... where you can relax with a few friends... visit the little mom and pop stores and museums .. I am trying to get the moxy to do it.. I just haven't been single in such a long time( married for 35 years dated for almost two years before we were married) Anyway, I am rambling... Sincerely, JANET
Author justice Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 You know Guest, I haven't felt this good in my own right for over five years. If it's something you really feel strongly about you need to get the moxy and do it. Each situation is different and I was tired of being lied to and stepped on, now I'm free, I feel confident again and self assured, this was truly the best thing for me, now I don't have to worry about what he's doing behind my back and I can finally concentrate on me. My best wishes to you. Justice
Author justice Posted December 13, 2006 Author Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks Jess, I do realize that now. This was a very good move for me.
GirlFromOz Posted December 14, 2006 Posted December 14, 2006 Justice - I am so happy for you! You deserve to feel good inside again. thank you for bringing a smile to my face.
FlyingHigh Posted December 17, 2006 Posted December 17, 2006 You know Guest, I haven't felt this good in my own right for over five years. If it's something you really feel strongly about you need to get the moxy and do it. Each situation is different and I was tired of being lied to and stepped on, now I'm free, I feel confident again and self assured, this was truly the best thing for me, now I don't have to worry about what he's doing behind my back and I can finally concentrate on me. My best wishes to you. Justice Justice, I'm on the same celebratory ship with you!!! Here's a toast to you girl!!! My lying, cheating SOB stbx hubby was finally escorted by cops on 9/11/06. He tried to accuse me of domestic violence for throwing a glass of water in his face and one of my favorite vase on the floor in front of him. If I reeeallly wanted to hurt him, I wouldn't have missed his 6'4" 230 lb frame 4 feet away! And oh yeah, me? At 5'3" 105 lbs, I could really do serious damage couldn't I? LOL!!! :laugh: That was the last time he would EVER lie to me!!! So his 911 call end up backfiring on him! Our neighbors watched as he was escorted, packed his crap in a laundry basket who came over after to ask if I were okay. Didn't even cry that night. Now, my neighbors all know what's going on and they keep an eye on things including my dog when I'm not around. I'm blessed for having my neighbors which is very rare in Los Angeles. I know the feeling of freedom you're feeling. It's exhilirating and empowering. Like you, I no longer have to stress or worry about him leaving for work and wonder if he is lying, cheating. I'm still staying in the home we bought last year which I love with my dog who rescued me. Yep, she picked me. She came into my life just at the right time. The home is a Spanish charmer built in 1932 boasting all the original woodwork and malibu tiles which I love and the ex could have cared less. He was a pack rat and his stuff were all mismatched. I like traditional classic styles. The home has become my sanctuary. It has a big backyard which I tend to. I enjoy gardening which he didn't. The 7.5 Xmas tree is decorated with new ornaments in silver and gold except for my angel tree top which I've had for years. The outside entry is trimmed in scalloped garland and berrys lit in clear lights. Each window has a decorated wreaths at the top lit in clear lights and a candle at each window sil in honor of our soldiers for their safe return. Everything is where as they should be, including him....out of my life. Wished I had a fireplace though..... Merry Christmas...
Author justice Posted December 26, 2006 Author Posted December 26, 2006 Merry Christmas to you as well FlyingHigh! Isn't it going to be a wonderful new year and a wonderful new life?
SueBee3490 Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Justice, Good for you! I just read your story and I don't think you are selfish, mean, etc.... I just think you have the guts to do whats good for you and you are feeling in control now. I wish I could muster up the courage to get to where you are. I've been wanting to leave for 4 yrs now (after finding out about his cheating) but I just can't get the "motivation" or whatever to get going. I think the idea of selling our house and actually getting it ready for the market and also the thought of another divorce is what's holding me right now. I know it's not my feelings for my H as I've lost the love and respect for him long ago. I know that when my H leaves to visit his family in another state, I am like another person. I feel so happy and relieved when he's gone so I know what you mean about not worrying about "is he cheating?" or "is he lying about something he's done?". I think you are just feeling your independence and as I said above, you feel in control of your life again - you don't need to buy "his" food or ask "him" about major purchases. You are free to do that again by yourself. It looks like your new year is looking bright and it really gives me inspiration and hope for myself at reading about your good life now. But I am feeling as Janet said just trying to get the moxy up to get on with my life without him. I hope I reach that point this coming year because I can't take much more of this fence sitting!
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