hollywood24 Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 All in all this is more of a venting thread I guess. I just have a couple questions. I was thinking about taking my ex off my myspace. It would do a couple thing. First, it would allow me to stop checking it 10 times a day cause it's private (only friends can view it). It would also possibly show her that I'm not sticking around and waiting around for her (which she even told me not to, I said I wouldn't do that). But she could possibly be thinking in the back of her head that she has me waiting on the back burner and i DO NOT want that. It would also show that I really don't care anymore (but I still do, that's why I want to delete it, doesn't make sense I know) which is key in to getting a second chance anyways. I really am trying to get over this, but I'm am hoping deep down inside that I still have a chance (doesn't everybody). But by deleting her now, I feel that it would break NC (even if we didn't communicate) and just bring back the pain/tension/whatever, which gets us nowhere. I guess it has only been like 11days NC but it feels a lot longer. She is possibly (well most likely) 'talking" to someone right now, a friend from 2.5 years that she originally had a crush on, but nothing happened. He now lives in michigan (4.5 hrs away) but he came home for thaksgiving and they hung out (got food), but I don't think anything happened, I could be wrong though, but if anything they just kissed. But she seemed to be talking to him a lot after we broke up (a LOT more than when we were together, only on aim from what I know when we were together)I was at her house one night and they were texting back and forth (they usually talk on AIM) Now he is on her myspace all the time, posting messages that are a little more than, hi im just friends with you. They are more like, hi i like you and i'm somewhat flirting. Today he wrote one that said " i stayed up late just to tell you 9.5 days!!!". obviously, it's when he's coming home for christmas. But dec 17 is a little early IMO because I don't think he's in college. I also asked her (the night I was over at her house) if she was interested in him (she said they were always a little flirtatious when they talked), and that is also when she told me she used to have a crush when they first met (nothing happened), but she didn't think anything would happen cause he lives in michigan. But something most likely will this time in my opinion. He will probably be home for a couple weeks. I just want to get the point across that I am not waiting around. Maybe NC will do that soon enough. But I already removed her once (from myspace), then we talked the next night (constructive conversation about the breakup, fully understood each other) and I added her back. I don't want her thinking that we are going to be friends and I will always be there for her, because she then will never come back, and the whole friends thing sure as hell won't happen, she needs to know that she WILL lose me for good, which I don't think she fully know that because of previous conversations/actions/whatever else. I know I am just over-thinking things, that's the way I am :\. I guess this isn't necessarily about deleting her from myspace, but more about showing her I am not going to wait for her (which I have made progress, but it still is hard at times). It's still early for anything to happen, we aren't fully healed etc, but it just really sucks. All in all this is more of a venting thread I guess. I also have a friend coming home for christmas on the 19th (female) from cali (the ex doesn't know this) and she's is telling me I better be ready for her and stuff lol if u know what I mean. The ex SHOULD know this hahaha, but there's really no way for her to know unless I flat out tell her. But that isn't going to happen. edit: damn, how do my threads end up being so long :\, sorry
laRubiaBonita Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 take her outta your friends. i am surprised she has not deleted you herself to help herself move on.
Author hollywood24 Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 I just don't want it to seem like i'm doing it cause I'm upset, cause that's why i did it last time.
notmakingsense Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Yeah, delete her. Stop thinking about it so much and focus on moving on for real. Take it beyond "showing her" through the simple MySpace deletion, by going no-contact and starting to date others. She may never come back around, so you should start living life that way. If she does start snooping in to what you are up to, well, she'll find out just what a great and popular guy you are.... then we'll see what she does!
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 I just don't want to ruin the NC I have done so far. Because it is technically contact
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 haha, she was on aim at an unusual time today (she is usually on after 9, i dated her for a year, that's how i know lol). the dude just happened to be on to. he signed off, then she did. HAHAHAHA i'm so f*ckin done worrying about this sh*t, im so sick of it. If she ever loved/loves me, she will come back. If not, f*ck it. bye bye from my friends list. should I set my profile to private? I'm going to ISU (college) tonight with my friend to visit a friend. It's gonna be a great night !!!!! If someone tries to contact me about me deleting her, should I just say "why do I need her on my friends list"? she is a friend of family members, so it wouldnt be hard for someone to contact me
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 I just don't want to ruin the NC I have done so far. Because it is technically contact No it isn't.. not if you are serious about NC.. but if you are doing it to get a rise out of her then I would consider it a smoke signal.. Delete her Oh.... and block and delete her off your aim and any of her friends or guys that you might use to check on her..
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 yeah, i kinda am doing it to get a rise, but i honestly do want to get over it, i'm not enjoying this crap
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 No it isn't.. not if you are serious about NC.. but if you are doing it to get a rise out of her then I would consider it a smoke signal.. Delete her Oh.... and block and delete her off your aim and any of her friends or guys that you might use to check on her.. well in regards to your SIG, I never actually tole her that, but I know she was crazy about me....so maybe if i, nah, it's to late lol. ok ok, i'm way off topic here lol So basically, I want it to bring her back (broke up over a month ago but only 11 days NC, it's probably to soon to bring her back) or I want it to make me get over her. Whatever one happens, happens But it almost seems as if deleteing would push her away further cause she was the one who decided she didnt want to get back together. That was after I decided no for her the first time, then I tried again :\. I guess i'm f*cked either way though ehh
Krytellan Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 But it almost seems as if deleteing would push her away further cause she was the one who decided she didnt want to get back together. That was after I decided no for her the first time, then I tried again :\. I guess i'm f*cked either way though ehh Man, the only advice I could give is to start living life for yourself. Right now, with the way you're talking, she totally owns you. Yes, she owns you right now. That can't feel good can it? If you have enough pride to do something about it, you will delete her from MySpace and AIM, along with all other people that remind you of her, and never look back. Oh, you'll cry occasionally, and you'll want to know what she's up to, but only for a little while. Then you'll start thinking about all the crap she pulled with you then you'll start getting pissed at her. Then everything goes the way it should. But for now SHE OWNS YOU... do something about that.
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 Man, the only advice I could give is to start living life for yourself. Right now, with the way you're talking, she totally owns you. Yes, she owns you right now. That can't feel good can it? If you have enough pride to do something about it, you will delete her from MySpace and AIM, along with all other people that remind you of her, and never look back. Oh, you'll cry occasionally, and you'll want to know what she's up to, but only for a little while. Then you'll start thinking about all the crap she pulled with you then you'll start getting pissed at her. Then everything goes the way it should. But for now SHE OWNS YOU... do something about that. So you're saying to delete my family members, because my ex is friends with them. That doesn't sound right. It just seems as if deleting her now (after almost 2 weeks of NC) is kind of childish in a way. I don't know :\
Guest Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 I always think of guys doing this kind of deleting thing as childish. My ex deleted me on MSN after I refused to see him on a night because I had a party to go and I didn't think I could see him as a friend at that point of time. He was like" I am free now and I want you to come over and watch a movie on your computer". Well he put our relationship on hold because he thought it was distracting from work coz school was taking most of his time. Then I broke up with him and after a month of NC he called me again on that night. But I guess this time either he is really pissed off or he just wants to completely get on top of it. I know I still have a feeling for him but he was definitely not giving me the respect that I deserved. He always took me for granted. I am just tired of playing this game with him anymore. Anyways, ask your heart if you still wants her back. If you really love her and know she still loves you, plz stop playing the game and don't blow the chance until you realize it is too late. Sometimes you have to put down your pride for the one you love.
D-Lish Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 Just remember that deleting her is reversible should you ever decide to add her again in the future. It's not permanent if you don't want it to be. But for the time being, it seems like the best thing to do to get over it. Why put yourself through the agony of knowing who she is talking to and possibly dating? That will only keep you stuck. She knows where you are should she decide to contact you again. The ritual act of deleting your ex can be a closure experience for you.
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 Just remember that deleting her is reversible should you ever decide to add her again in the future. It's not permanent if you don't want it to be. But for the time being, it seems like the best thing to do to get over it. Why put yourself through the agony of knowing who she is talking to and possibly dating? That will only keep you stuck. She knows where you are should she decide to contact you again. The ritual act of deleting your ex can be a closure experience for you. Yeah, I know, you guys are right. I just don't want to let go I guess. We shouldn't have broke up in the first place, I was being an idiot. That's why it is so hard. I realized what a huge mistake I made and (I realized it even before she told me she didn't want to get back with me right now, so it wasn't cause I couldn't have her) and I'm so mad because there is absolutly NOTHING I can do to about it. Although I am glad it happened in a way, because we addressed some issues and talked a lot of things over, and if we ever did get back together, it would be even better than it was before and I know that for a fact. That is another reason why it is so hard. I know it can work, and I know she knows, but she is scared to get hurt again. But I guess the best thing might be to delete her and block her from AIM. It just seems like a last act of desperation, and I don't want that. It also will make it seem like I'm still upset over it, and I don't want that either.
Author hollywood24 Posted December 9, 2006 Author Posted December 9, 2006 I always think of guys doing this kind of deleting thing as childish. My ex deleted me on MSN after I refused to see him on a night because I had a party to go and I didn't think I could see him as a friend at that point of time. He was like" I am free now and I want you to come over and watch a movie on your computer". Well he put our relationship on hold because he thought it was distracting from work coz school was taking most of his time. Then I broke up with him and after a month of NC he called me again on that night. But I guess this time either he is really pissed off or he just wants to completely get on top of it. I know I still have a feeling for him but he was definitely not giving me the respect that I deserved. He always took me for granted. I am just tired of playing this game with him anymore. Anyways, ask your heart if you still wants her back. If you really love her and know she still loves you, plz stop playing the game and don't blow the chance until you realize it is too late. Sometimes you have to put down your pride for the one you love. I don't quit understand what you are trying to say here.
johnnytable Posted December 10, 2006 Posted December 10, 2006 If you want to show somebody that you aren't waiting around, I would suggest that you show *yourself* this. Do what you need to do in order to move on. Don't worry about what she thinks. I would personally delete her and block her if I was you. You don't need this staring you in the face more than it already is. I know that you don't want to "look" hurt, but you are hurt. So don't worry about being hurt. Just take care of yourself. Eventually you will no longer be hurt and you won't care anymore. BTW, doing this "deleting" should not be a "game". It is simply for you to remove a point of contact that is bugging you. If you are doing it to get a rise out of the other person or to try and "get them back" then you should figure out why you want to do this in the first place and if it really makes sense.
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