Dasia00 Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Does anyone have any insight into this situation?? Sorry it's so long--- I have been dealing with this guy for 9 years, off and on. The sex was always good, but anytime we attempted a relationship, it always failed. We both hang on to insecurities & hurt feelings from each other, and have both cheated on one another "to get even". It has been back and forth like this for a couple years now, even though we haven't been in a relationship for 2 years. After our last breakup in 2004, we didn't really see or talk to each other for about a year. Then, out of no where, he starts calling me on a regular basis. I didn't mind conversating with him here and there, but before we got off the phone with each other, he would tell me he loved me. I would just say "OK, Bye", but he would actually get mad, saying "You better tell me you love me", and not hang up the phone until I said it, too. A few weeks later, he shows up at my house one night. He told me he wanted to start a relationship with me again, he still loved me, and how hurt he was when I didn't marry him.(We were briefly engaged, but I couldn't go through with it). I wasn't expecting to hear any of this, so I told him we should just be friends, and see how things go. A few months later, we started sleeping with each other again, and I realized I was beginning to have feelings for him again. Anyways, during this time, I found out he was dealing with a few other girls, and had a girlfriend. When I asked him about it, he denied it, then started distancing himself from me. I got mad and called his girlfriend, telling her he was cheating on her. He then told me the truth, saying he loved her, and that I should have just married him, and he is having the "life with her that he was trying to have with me, but I didn't want it, so he found someone who did want it." He told me to never call him or his girlfriend again, and filed an incident report with the police saying I was harrassing him. Obviously, I stopped calling him. A week later, he calls me! I was about 2 months pregnant by him, and he told me to go have an abortion, because we were not together. I told him to stop calling me and hung up. He called a few more times after that, but I never answered. So, 3 months goes by, and we don't talk to each other-until now. We recently hung out with each other. He told me how glad he was to see me, how me and him have a "deep connection" and how his girlfriend "means nothing to him". He went on to say how stupid he was for "letting that chick get in between us". One minute he acts like he wants me back, the next minute he is pushing me away. Is he just telling me what he thinks I want to hear? Should I just cut everything off and not talk to him again, or see if we can get back together. I still care about him, and would rather try to work something out with him then go deal with someone else. What should I do? I don't want to get hurt again, but I don't want to waste any more time, either.
Spinderella Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 No. You have gotten over the first hurt, and are managing your life without him. Don't let this guy come and ruin that all over again. I take it you are still pregnant with his child. You don't need a pregnancy full of stress. The guy sounds like a cake eater. Go into the OW section on this board and you can read about loads of them and the emotional damage they do to all the women in their lives. Concentrate on being healthy emotionally for when your baby is born. If he is saying he wants to be a part of the childs life, then cross that bridge nearer the time, and until then keep no contact with him. If he is being genuine about this he will have already left his girlfriend before he comes chasing you to start over.
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