lone she-wolf Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Okay, so for those who remember me....yes its the same guy. I know...boring right? For those who don't know my situation.... I have a male friend, whom I've been hanging out with for nearly a year. He is 33 and so am I. Neither of us are dating ANYONE. I actually would like for us to be "more than friends", but have no expectations as to what that would mean. He has flirted with me over the months, but since I'm not REALLY sure that he is attracted to me, I have been silent about my desires and too afraid to "make a move". I have however, dropped hints and I'm very sweet to him and all that jazz. Fast-forward. Last weekend, he and I were at a concert. He WAS pretty drunk. He put his head on my shoulder, then he put his arm around me and was giggling and looking at me strangly etc. THEN, while the band was playing, he came up behind me, put his arms around me and proceeded to press himself against me and molest me. He was squeezing my breasts and rubbing my.......So, while this was going on, I actually DID like it, but I just felt that it was a bit much for being in public. So I leaned back into his ear and said "why don't we wait until we are alone to do this". I thought it was the coolest thing to say actually, but after I said it, he backed-off and did not touch me for the rest of the evening. After the show, I asked if he wanted to sleep at my place. He said yes, but that he wanted to sleep on the couch. I was fine with that, but I used it as a reason to get some clairty on the situation. I asked him "why do you want to sleep on the couch after your display in the club?" He began to go off about how I reminded him of a past girlfriend, who was trying to get him involved in a relationship......mumble, mumble....I mean, it did not really make much sense! So, I just told him "look, I am attracted to you and would be open for some fun and after what you did tonight, I assume that you are attracted to me, but I don't know.......may be you are just drunk and you would regret it or something". Basically I was hoping to get him to admit that he liked me, but he admitted nothing and just kept mumbling about how he did not know how to proceed with me. So I left it alone, but I did tell him to be careful of sending mixed messages to me. The next morning, he woke up on my couch and came into my room, got in my bed and snuggled with me a little and said that he was sorry that he put the moves on me and then did not follw through. He said that I just looked so good last night.......and that when he is drunk he has no control.....and that was it. He then stopped snuggling and just sort of rolled over. I really did not know what to say. He seemed like he wanted to drop it. We laid there for a while but neither of us could fall back asleep. We had a nice day, watching tv and cooking etc, but he never touched me. I want to bring it up again to get a clear and sober answer about weather he is or is not wanting something more than friendship, but now I'm afraid I'll look desperate, or freak him out, for wanting to get clairty. ALSO, I'm not sure how much of the conversation we had in the car he actually remembers. In the car, I basically told him things I've wanted to tell him for a long time, but he seemed to take my comments as trying to be his wife or something. So, I could try to have the talk again, but maybe I should just leave it alone and see what happens? Oh, and by the way, this is the SECOND time he has done the drunk grope on me, but did not follow through. SO, my 3 questions are this.... 1) How EXACTLY should HIS being drunk affect MY perception on this matter? 2) How many of you guys get drunk and molest a friend AND does it mean you ACTUALLY want to get with that friend, or is it just something to grab? 3) Should I bring this up, so we can clear the air? ANY ADVICE will be great. I'm just confused on the whole liquid courage thing. Thanks!
Poboy Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 he was drunk , guys can do insanse things when they are drunk so maybe it was in that state he did those things ... ... is this the 1st time he did this or has anything happened between the two of you before ? obviouslly , you should clear up with him all that happened & what is it that he wants & also what you want...
lovelorcet Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Why do you say that he molested you?? I find this really strange??
Author lone she-wolf Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 It is just the term I used and I was making a joke (south park). Guess I could have said Grope.
Timberlane Posted December 9, 2006 Posted December 9, 2006 Wow, sorry this hesitant weanie can't get off the fence. Good luck consumating whatever will become of this.
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