PollyPocket Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 There is absolutely no sense in pointing fingers. SHE is NOT your husband's OW. And he is as much responsible for you checking your bills as the OW is. It takes two to make an affair, not one. I do not condone affairs, but I cannot handle brash judgements against women based on the fact that they REPRESENT the enemy to you. These women are not your OW. Please understand that many facets are involved in these situations. No excuse, but it is a fact. Why oh why are these MM not facing the wrath of their actions like the OW are? Why must the blame be shifted to the OW? Come on. He's involved too. I am sorry but acting as if she is innocent here is unthinkable. I found 3000 or so texts just from my H OW and he sent her just the same amount. I came here to get things out of my head. Then women come on here crying the blues. So are you saying because I am not intimate with my H. That because I just stay in my marriage for the kids that I deserve this torment in my life. Sorry but I believe OW are sick and twisted. Thats my opinion.
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 NA NA NA NA NA Stop the crying. You can PM me if you want to.
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 You do NOT deserve what you are going through. Absolutely not. But these women are not HER. They represent the enemy but they did not do damage to you personally. These men are the ones who are telling the OW one thing and the wife another. I think THEY should have torment in their lives, not you or the OW.
yousaveme Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I am sorry but acting as if she is innocent here is unthinkable. I found 3000 or so texts just from my H OW and he sent her just the same amount. I came here to get things out of my head. Then women come on here crying the blues. So are you saying because I am not intimate with my H. That because I just stay in my marriage for the kids that I deserve this torment in my life. Sorry but I believe OW are sick and twisted. Thats my opinion. WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH.....KEEP CHECKING YOUR BILL.
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Checking Cell Phone Bills & Window Licking Is A Great Game Plan.
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 And I believe the men who talk on both sides of their mouths are the sick and twisted ones. For the OW and the wife choose to believe him. They want to trust. It is HE who is the one who is playing two women against each other if he is still involved with them both. He should shoulder the blame too. He is not innocent. Not by a long shot.
Buttaflyy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I think THEY should have torment in their lives, not you or the OW. Anywho, I've just gotta say that this too is an opinated statement. Every situation is different. Everyone must look at their own situation and see where the responsibility for blame lies. The woman posting that she thinks OW are sick...harsh and pretty brutal of a statement in my opinion, but I don't think anyone can change her mind about her opinion. However, it is rude and against guidelines to insult a group of ppl in that manner. Depending on who you are in this situation will determine how you feel about one another. Is it necessary or even mature to insult one another this way?
NearlyThere Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I am sorry but acting as if she is innocent here is unthinkable. I found 3000 or so texts just from my H OW and he sent her just the same amount. I came here to get things out of my head. Then women come on here crying the blues. So are you saying because I am not intimate with my H. That because I just stay in my marriage for the kids that I deserve this torment in my life. Sorry but I believe OW are sick and twisted. Thats my opinion. your on the wrong forum, go to infidelity, thats where you can get your help to "get things out of my head", if you dont want to listen to us "crying the blues". This is where we get help, sorry if you dont like it, but thats the way it is.
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I am not insulting the BS. I never would. I have been one and I have been the unknowing OW. I do know that in ALL these situations, the MM is partially to blame. He is never, ever blameless. And the MM is whom I was speaking about having torment. And, specifically, I was speaking to the poster who checks the bills. He is NOT blameless, is he?
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Anywho, I've just gotta say that this too is an opinated statement. Every situation is different. Everyone must look at their own situation and see where the responsibility for blame lies. The woman posting that she thinks OW are sick...harsh and pretty brutal of a statement in my opinion, but I don't think anyone can change her mind about her opinion. However, it is rude and against guidelines to insult a group of ppl in that manner. Depending on who you are in this situation will determine how you feel about one another. Is it necessary or even mature to insult one another this way? I would like to read one post from someone where the MM was totally and completely innocent.....
Buttaflyy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I am not insulting the BS. I never would. I have been one and I have been the unknowing OW. I do know that in ALL these situations, the MM is partially to blame. He is never, ever blameless. And the MM is whom I was speaking about having torment. And, specifically, I was speaking to the poster who checks the bills. He is NOT blameless, is he? Definitely not. But what I'm saying is that I don't think you're gonna change a BS's opinion of an OW. There are no MM here, so she's lashing out on the OW that are. I didn't say you insulted her. Didn't mean to imply it either if thats what you thought.
PollyPocket Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I believe that my H has a problem. I think he is addicted to sex. That OW gave him what he wanted. Her comment does make me think. Because he says that alot.
Buttaflyy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I would like to read one post from someone where the MM was totally and completely innocent..... Also, you don't know what blame a BS has put on her H for betraying her. Why is it usually implied that she doesn't blame her H. I guess, as I said...I can see that most times BW's come here lashing out because of who's here.
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 And so would I & many others here. I don't think it will happen though. Maybe the BS would say that the husband's were innocent....
puddleofmud Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Again SICK SICK woman. I think these OW are heartless people. Have OW been removed and for what reason? I still find OW sick and in need of help. Entering our lives and our families. Here i am looking over my husbands cell phone bill and there are many restricted calls. This thread has done nothing more then make me ill. Sorry for your pain but please read other posts in this area--you will find many honest and caring persons who are OW, OM, BS, MM, MW,. SW, SM etc. We are all here to explore our situations with integrity and you may find some wonderful and loving persons to aid you. Best wishes and kindest regards!
bonehead Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 How its so easy to point fingers. Hostility breeds hostility
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 In my case, my MM DID lie to me about being married. He lied about alot as a matter of fact. So, I feel qualified to blame him for the mess I found myself in. I certainly didn't chase after him.....and I am certainly gone now that I know the truth. Some men ARE to blame. Sorry bonehead, didn't mean to point a finger at you. I was pointing it at my MM and generalized the statement.
bonehead Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 In my case, my MM DID lie to me about being married. He lied about alot as a matter of fact. So, I feel qualified to blame him for the mess I found myself in. I certainly didn't chase after him.....and I am certainly gone now that I know the truth. Some men ARE to blame. Sorry bonehead, didn't mean to point a finger at you. I was pointing it at my MM and generalized the statement. You didnt. Your right SOME men are, just as some WOMEN are, Just as some MM are, need I go on?
Chapter2 Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Have you read the posts by NoForgiveness...I would swear you are her ex-bestfriend and her husband's OW... I really need some advise. I met this wonderful guy. But he is married and to my best friend ( ex). We stopped talking after she found out about me and her husband. We were all friends and I leaned on them alot for support in my own life issues. Well, her husband and I became really close. I would call him and text his phone all the time. We learned to make this work. Like I said we were all friends, His wife who use to be a best friend someone I thought of as family. Found out. She found a text that I had sent him. Since then we havent talked. I believe they are in MC but just to make her happy. I say that because he called me from work today and told me this. I do believe him , because she can be a very bossy person. I asked them how things have been going to he basically told me he is doing what he needs to do. He doesnt hate her, he loves her as a person but doesnt have the passion for her. The desire for her. They have had an active sex life , but for him it was mostly just sex. He would tell me that he sex life with her was boring to him. And so she would never think about anything ( me and him ) he continued having sex with her , but thought of me. My question is this is miss her as a friend but I also miss HIM much more. Should I try and reconnect the friendship with her for my own selfish needs to be closer to him again?
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Should I try and reconnect the friendship with her for my own selfish needs to be closer to him again? No. Period. Your best bet is to walk away from this whole situation.
BeenAround_N_Back Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I am glad you asked for help here because people will be honest with you and sometimes, that can be brutal. I think your judgement is very clouded at the moment and that you really need to think about this objectively. If this was happening to your daughter (if you have one or not, it's hypotheical), what would you tell her? I believe if the husband and wife continues to have a regular life inside the bedroom, them he is really just lying to you about stuff. He really just wants to have his cake and eat it too. If you continue, you are only setting up yourself for pain.
Chapter2 Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Guess I should've read the whole thread before I posted that it sounded like NFG's ex bf...apparently that was established early on...
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