IfYouKnew Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I really need some advise. I met this wonderful guy. But he is married and to my best friend ( ex). We stopped talking after she found out about me and her husband. We were all friends and I leaned on them alot for support in my own life issues. Well, her husband and I became really close. I would call him and text his phone all the time. We learned to make this work. Like I said we were all friends, His wife who use to be a best friend someone I thought of as family. Found out. She found a text that I had sent him. Since then we havent talked. I believe they are in MC but just to make her happy. I say that because he called me from work today and told me this. I do believe him , because she can be a very bossy person. I asked them how things have been going to he basically told me he is doing what he needs to do. He doesnt hate her, he loves her as a person but doesnt have the passion for her. The desire for her. They have had an active sex life , but for him it was mostly just sex. He would tell me that he sex life with her was boring to him. And so she would never think about anything ( me and him ) he continued having sex with her , but thought of me. My question is this is miss her as a friend but I also miss HIM much more. Should I try and reconnect the friendship with her for my own selfish needs to be closer to him again?
whichwayisup Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 My question is this is miss her as a friend but I also miss HIM much more. Should I try and reconnect the friendship with her for my own selfish needs to be closer to him again? LEAVE THEM BOTH ALONE! I am not going to say too much because if I do, it's going to come off as rude and harsh. I'm biting my tongue. I will say, RE-READ your own post. It's obvious you're not thinking clearly at all, and you're only seeing what you want to see in this situation. Move on, get a life and leave your ex bestfriend and her husband alone. Forever.
Author IfYouKnew Posted December 7, 2006 Author Posted December 7, 2006 I had a family member die and I didnt hear from my ex Bestfriend but her husband did call me, without her knowing. So I know he still cares for me. I think if we did become friends that maybe we could work this all out. I care about him so much , I miss talking with me and being close.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Your definition of friendship must differ from mine. SHE obviously has terrible choice in friends and in men. PLEASE tell her everything he told you, she will leave him, you can have him. You two deserve each other - that I am sure of.
noforgiveness Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 sounds basically like a quick recap of my story if you didn't know the all. Doesn't it? Kind of makes me wonder if someone is playing with me from here. I know it's not though. My EX BF has a much classier way with words than this. Just from reading how this is written I know i would not be friends with someone like this. So this person was like family? You're sick you know that? Oh i could have so much fun with you right now saying what i'd like to but it's just not worth the aggravation. Oh and the wife will NEVER be your friend again. I love how the men lie. They have an active sex life but it's just sex. That's a line honey to get you in the sack.
skimmy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Hi, First of all I want to say I think it's brave of you to write the post that you did, and that you're asking for help. Bravo. Second, the heart and the head sometimes say different things. Sometimes you have to follow your heart, but sometimes the heart can lie and you have to follow your head. It will be very difficult, but the right thing to do would be to leave them alone and create new friendships and connections. If things don't work out for them without your influence, maybe then you can reconnect with him. But for now, it would probably be best if you left them alone. Your heart will probably kick and scream, and you can't really reason with your heart, but pain eventually fades. Feelings don't last forever.
yousaveme Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I believe you are delusional in your thoughts.
Buttaflyy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 sounds basically like a quick recap of my story if you didn't know the all. Doesn't it? Kind of makes me wonder if someone is playing with me from here. I know it's not though. My EX BF has a much classier way with words than this. Just from reading how this is written I know i would not be friends with someone like this. So this person was like family? You're sick you know that? Oh i could have so much fun with you right now saying what i'd like to but it's just not worth the aggravation. Oh and the wife will NEVER be your friend again. I love how the men lie. They have an active sex life but it's just sex. That's a line honey to get you in the sack. Great minds...NFG. And that's all I have to say!
PollyPocket Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 sounds basically like a quick recap of my story if you didn't know the all. Doesn't it? Kind of makes me wonder if someone is playing with me from here. I know it's not though. My EX BF has a much classier way with words than this. Just from reading how this is written I know i would not be friends with someone like this. So this person was like family? You're sick you know that? Oh i could have so much fun with you right now saying what i'd like to but it's just not worth the aggravation. Oh and the wife will NEVER be your friend again. I love how the men lie. They have an active sex life but it's just sex. That's a line honey to get you in the sack. I dont know what you mean by this? NF But as for the poster. You really need to find yourself some true help. How can you even call yourself and friend let alone a best friend. What is wrong with all these women who have no respect for themselves or anyone else by going after taken men. SICK SICK WOMEN:sick:
noforgiveness Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I dont know what you mean by this? NF But as for the poster. You really need to find yourself some true help. How can you even call yourself and friend let alone a best friend. What is wrong with all these women who have no respect for themselves or anyone else by going after taken men. SICK SICK WOMEN:sick: My best friend got too close to my husband and in much the same way but as far as i know it was just emotional. We were supporting her through a real rough time and my husband was supporting a litle too much and my h and i have a very active sex life. An OW who has since been romoved from this site liked to rub salt into the wound and brag about her conquest over the wife would speak of the naivity of thinking it was only emotional. So basically my story written very poorly but with sex added.
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Polly, I agree. A troll like that should go back under the rock it came out from.
PollyPocket Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 My best friend got too close to my husband and in much the same way but as far as i know it was just emotional. We were supporting her through a real rough time and my husband was supporting a litle too much and my h and i have a very active sex life. An OW who has since been romoved from this site liked to rub salt into the wound and brag about her conquest over the wife would speak of the naivity of thinking it was only emotional. So basically my story written very poorly but with sex added. Again SICK SICK woman. I think these OW are heartless people. Have OW been removed and for what reason? I still find OW sick and in need of help. Entering our lives and our families. Here i am looking over my husbands cell phone bill and there are many restricted calls. This thread has done nothing more then make me ill.
noforgiveness Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Again SICK SICK woman. I think these OW are heartless people. Have OW been removed and for what reason? I still find OW sick and in need of help. Entering our lives and our families. Here i am looking over my husbands cell phone bill and there are many restricted calls. This thread has done nothing more then make me ill. I could not agree more. I do have to say though that many of the OW's here were duped by the men and fell for them before they knew they were married.
yousaveme Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I could not agree more. I do have to say though that many of the OW's here were duped by the men and fell for them before they knew they were married. Just curious what part you are in agreement with. I knew he was married. I was engaged. It doesnt make me a sick person. Or in need of help. Polly- continue looking at your bill. Leave the diagnosis to the professionals....
puddleofmud Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I really need some advise. I met this wonderful guy. But he is married and to my best friend ( ex). We stopped talking after she found out about me and her husband. We were all friends and I leaned on them alot for support in my own life issues. Well, her husband and I became really close. I would call him and text his phone all the time. We learned to make this work. Like I said we were all friends, His wife who use to be a best friend someone I thought of as family. Found out. She found a text that I had sent him. Since then we havent talked. I believe they are in MC but just to make her happy. I say that because he called me from work today and told me this. I do believe him , because she can be a very bossy person. I asked them how things have been going to he basically told me he is doing what he needs to do. He doesnt hate her, he loves her as a person but doesnt have the passion for her. The desire for her. They have had an active sex life , but for him it was mostly just sex. He would tell me that he sex life with her was boring to him. And so she would never think about anything ( me and him ) he continued having sex with her , but thought of me. My question is this is miss her as a friend but I also miss HIM much more. Should I try and reconnect the friendship with her for my own selfish needs to be closer to him again? Friends are not like chewing gum--one does not transfer this from one mouth to another and feel that it still tastes good? This is called "sloppy seconds". Yours is already second so what's up w/ wanting thirds? Nicely put: You screwed your best friend over and now you want to do it again just to be close to her husband? Because you miss her? Buy a new pack of gum. Check your karma. Expect to be treated like all of 37 cents (the price of gum) if this is how you deal with others. You are only as valuable as you make yourself! Don't allow yourself to be cheap or cheat yourself as you are valuable and should allow yourself to be loved in a grand way!
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Some have totally lost thier minds here. I am not perfect but this is just HORRIBLE.
noforgiveness Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Just curious what part you are in agreement with. I knew he was married. I was engaged. It doesnt make me a sick person. Or in need of help. Polly- continue looking at your bill. Leave the diagnosis to the professionals.... so wow was it your friend too? You yourself have said it WAS WRONG. If you know what you did was wrong how do you expect others to react to it that don't know you?
lasan Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 My ex slept with my best friend. In the long run we are still friends. I forgave her. But I couldn't have forgiven her if she would have still been trying to have sex with my ex at the time. She is no longer my best friend. I still have love for her because of our long standing friendship and everythign we went through together. She saw her error, and she asked for forgiveness. I accepted. Not everyone will react like this. If you rekindle your friendship, don't expect for it to be the same. If she doesn't want' to, then you learned a valuable but sad lesson. But abosultely do not try to be her friend again just to get her husband.
yousaveme Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 so wow was it your friend too? You yourself have said it WAS WRONG. If you know what you did was wrong how do you expect others to react to it that don't know you? I said yes it was wrong. But I'm not sick as that person said. The situtation is wrong.
PollyPocket Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Just curious what part you are in agreement with. I knew he was married. I was engaged. It doesnt make me a sick person. Or in need of help. Polly- continue looking at your bill. Leave the diagnosis to the professionals.... Yes it does make you a sick person. You were engaged and went after a married man. What kind of person are you? Because of people like you , Yes i look at the bill. There is no trust with people like you and the H you run around with.
peacelove Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 That would make ME a sick person too. I am far from sick. FOR YOUR INFORMATION.
NearlyThere Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Again SICK SICK woman. I think these OW are heartless people. Have OW been removed and for what reason? I still find OW sick and in need of help. Entering our lives and our families. Here i am looking over my husbands cell phone bill and there are many restricted calls. This thread has done nothing more then make me ill. I think you should read what the purpose of this forum is for, before you come on here slagging people off. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t54546/ Perhaps you should go to the infidelity forum, might be more suited for you. I'm certainly not sick, and most definitely not heartless.
Freedom Now Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 There is absolutely no sense in pointing fingers. SHE is NOT your husband's OW. And he is as much responsible for you checking your bills as the OW is. It takes two to make an affair, not one. I do not condone affairs, but I cannot handle brash judgements against women based on the fact that they REPRESENT the enemy to you. These women are not your OW. Please understand that many facets are involved in these situations. No excuse, but it is a fact. Why oh why are these MM not facing the wrath of their actions like the OW are? Why must the blame be shifted to the OW? Come on. He's involved too.
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