Wayneo Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Hello, I'm new here and am hoping for some advice. There is a woman at work who I've been getting to know over the last few months and I like her. I get a strong feeling she likes me and has done for a few months. We have been out in lots of group situations after work and she spends a lot attention on me and some body language signs are there too. Recently we have also spent time together alone out of work - although not on dates - just group situations where we have been left alone once everyone has left. The other day we were talking and she told me she has been "sorta seeing this guy". Now she has never mentioned this before. She has had plenty of opportunity to hint about it and always talks about her friends and social life - but never once mentioned this guy. It's not as if she came out with "hey, I've got to tell you something". I think the only reason she told me was because we stumbled upon it in conversation. They have been out about 6 or 7 times in the last 6 weeks. She didn't use the word "boyfriend". And she made the point of telling me that "its not going to last". She told me recently that shes made a lot of effort to get to know me the last few months and that shes glad she did and it was worth it. The questions I'm hoping for some advice on are: - Why did she not tell me about this guy? She also seemed uneasy telling me about him. - Why did she explicitly tell me "its not gonna last" - was she presenting herself as still available? - Should I still make the move and ask her out on a date? I'd love a female opinion on this situation but male advice would also be appreciated. Thanks, Wayneo.
Krytellan Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 OMG man, wake up. She is trying to give you all the signs tnhat yes, she is sweeing someone, but she would still be open to you initiating a date with her. It is so obvious. Stop being so freakin cautious and ask her out, that is if she hasn't gotten bored of it all yet. She might have already moved on from waiting any longer for you to ask.
IWalkAlone Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 If a woman says she's "sort of seeing someone," that translates to "I have been dating someone, but I'm interested in dating you." If you like her, go for it.
alphamale Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 - Should I still make the move and ask her out on a date? no....she's playing with your head and just using you for emotional support and to get attention for herself. she is a user and a liar. end your friendship.
pricillia Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 no....she's playing with your head and just using you for emotional support and to get attention for herself. she is a user and a liar. end your friendship. now now alpha... LOL if a woman takes time to get to know another male while dating someone else then I think that it is kind of shady... let her break it off with the other guy first then you two can talk
Meggedy Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 To me, this sounds like the classic situation where 1) a woman is waiting for a guy to ask her out or make a move, 2) the guy doesn't, for fear of rejection, and 3) the woman decides to spark a little competition by inventing an imaginary boyfriend. I say this because it doesn't make a bit of sense that she is seeing this guy but knows it won't last. She is definitely available and I would bet money that Mr. Mystery doesn't exist.
pricillia Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 competition by making up another imaginary man...Hmm... I think there is another man, then alpha is right she lies
Author Wayneo Posted December 7, 2006 Author Posted December 7, 2006 Thanks for the replies. I know for a fact that she has been seeing this other guy - only for a short while. She met him via an internet dating site - which she said she went on with her friends for a laugh. Pricillia - she had been getting to know me for a couple months before she started "seeing" this guy. We get on very well and make each other laugh a lot. I am fairly sure that if I had made my move before he came into the picture - she would have agreed to date me. I get signs from this girl that she likes me but the only reason I've not asked her out before I found out about this guy is because we work together and I was worried she was a serial flirt. The reason she says it won't last is apparently not due to the fact she doesn't like the guy - but she says it has no long term prospects. I think the only thing that matters as to whether I go ahead and ask her out is her reasoning behind the secrecy and the way in which she went about letting me know about him. I think it could be one of 2 things, either - "hey, I've been seeing this guy but I'm still available if you wanna ask me out because I'd like to go out sometime" or "I've been seeing this guy - I've finally decided to tell you so I don't hurt your feelings if you were to even think about asking me out". Whatever the reason, this girl genuinly likes me - as just friends or more is what I'm trying to work out. We have spent time alone a couple times recently - in situations after her friends have left. She has stayed behind with me alone and never seemed in any rush to leave. Any more thoughts would be great.
Krytellan Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Seriously man, this is a classic case of "**** or get off the pot". You are analyzing the crap out of this. Ask her out quickly. She will say yes. You will start dating. Other guy will vanish. Or... wait and think about it more. She decides she likes this other guy. You ask her out. She says, "gee, I wish you woulda asked me sooner, but I'm kinda in a relationship". Your choice.
alphamale Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 3) the woman decides to spark a little competition by inventing an imaginary boyfriend. yea MEGG and then the "imaginary" b/f will give him an "imaginary" punch in the nose and he'll have to go to "imaginary" hospital I say this because it doesn't make a bit of sense that she is seeing this guy but knows it won't last. women say this krap all the time. women's words mean nothing, look more at their actions.
Author Wayneo Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 Krytellan - your advice has been taken On a lighter note - alphamale - thanks for your advice, but this guy would not dare punch me if he saw me . And as for actions - her body language tells me she likes me, I just wanna know if shes still open to offers and was giving me the hint... Thanks again for all the advice.
johan Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 ...but this guy would not dare punch me if he saw me . Thank God for glasses, eh? I got Lasik, and now I have to be a lot more careful. Good luck with the babe!
LuminousZ Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 ... women's words mean nothing, look more at their actions. I always say, "actions speak louder than words"..., & in this case, it would be wise to heed this advice!
Author Wayneo Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 Taken into account alphamale and LuminousZ... So are you talking terms of body language, or the fact that she's "sorta" seeing this guy. If it's body language then I see the signs for sure. She also has spent time with me alone a few times outside of work. I even found out at a later date that she was meant to be meeting this other guy one night we were out but cancelled on him and carried on our night out. This was originally a group situation, but everyone left and us two just stayed in the bar. Sorry if I'm waffling on, but I just like to write my thoughts down... So, alphamale what actions are you talking dude? Cheers.
Recommended Posts