luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 My X-Needy Guy wrote me an email last night listing all the things he left at my house that he wants me to mail him. I was prepared to get the email, already had his stuff set aside. But, he wrote that he wants stuff back that he gave my son. He gave my son a hand-me down DVD player, his parents gave him. When he gave it to us, he said that it's just been sitting around and no one uses it. His exact words were: dvd player (since i fixed his ps2 he doesn't need anyways) He can **** with me all he wants, but don't drag my kids into it!! To give something to a kid, then to want it back, is just another example of his sucking up, strings-attached way of making me like him!! I am venting. Sorry. I know you all are tired of hearing from me. But, if I don't get this anger out...I will resort to bashing him in an email and resorting to his level of immaturity.
blind_otter Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 vent away, that sounds like such an *******ish thing to do.
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Take all his crap.. every bit.. and if your son can live without the dvd player then that too and mail it all to his work with a big bold message for him on the outside of the box.. Tell him to fu** off and die from now on... What an as$hole.. immature jerk...
Pyro Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Wow, that is immature. If it was a gift, then he has no ownership of it. He is just being an immature prick because you broke up with him. Stand your ground and let it be known that the DVD player stays.
jerbear Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Taking from a kid after giving it to the kid is just wrong. A gift is a gift, keep it. IMO, if he REALLY wants it back, give it back and go buy a new one for your son. I like the mail it to his work idea but I'll add a fleshlight so when he opens it at work! Surprise!
Author luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 vent away, that sounds like such an *******ish thing to do. Yea, I'm pissed like a mother bear protecting her cubs. I can't believe his immaturity!! Take all his crap.. every bit.. and if your son can live without the dvd player then that too and mail it all to his work with a big bold message for him on the outside of the box.. Tell him to fu** off and die from now on... What an as$hole.. immature jerk... Note to self: Don't piss off Art_Critic!! Thanks for the advice. I don't know wether to be pissed or just be like, oh geez, that's mature...and shrug it off. Wow, that is immature. If it was a gift, then he has no ownership of it. He is just being an immature prick because you broke up with him. Stand your ground and let it be known that the DVD player stays. That's the same way I feel. Is this guy doing it out of spite or he's just too stupid to realize that you don't do that to kids. I could care less about the damn dvd player. I could go uptown right now and buy one better. I just don't want to hurt my son's feelings or make him feel like HE did something wrong. Taking from a kid after giving it to the kid is just wrong. A gift is a gift, keep it. IMO, if he REALLY wants it back, give it back and go buy a new one for your son. I like the mail it to his work idea but I'll add a fleshlight so when he opens it at work! Surprise! It's just the principle of the thing. I should probably just go buy a new one for my son, and return the other one to the "BIG BABY"!! :rolleyes:
Sand&Water Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 RE: Another one of those bumpy rides, in life. My X-Needy Guy wrote me an email last night listing all the things he left at my house that he wants me to mail him. You knew this was coming. Didn't you? You weren't living in the jungle, convincing yourself that the only thing I lay eyes on is what I'll believe. Whether he wants his stuff back or not ~ he is still the same person. Better that he took his stuff now, early on in the relationship, than 1 year from now. Because you and I know, you'd have clung onto that man like monkey to a branch. I don't blame him, as being evil or rather immature. He just wants his stuff back, no matter from a child or a grown-up. He has his boundaries -part of it feeding his ego to compensate for the loss. That's the way men are. Did you expect different? Rightfully, there are tons of 'nice' men out there -but this is one just proved to you how shallow he can be. Sand&Water
notmakingsense Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Just give it back with a simple note attached: "Taking back a gift you gave to a little kid.... now that's an attractive quality! I really feel like I've blown it this time.... NOT!"
johan Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 This just goes to show you how the prototypical Nice Guy never really is. Underneath it all they get to be extremely bitter about the fact that their Niceness never yields the kind of payoff that they imagine it will. The fact that it's really just a (conscious or unconscious) manipulative ploy to get a good response from women just means that it's actually fake. It probably did work on Mom, which is probably the only person in the world who would have provided the positive reinforcement for that behavior. But what other woman in the world wants to relate to you like Mom did? Whether you're faking niceness or faking being a "Jerk/Bad-boy", the results will always be the same. The ploy will somehow backfire, and you'll end up feeling ripped off. The behavior that results in the greatest possible long term positive outcome is to be honest with yourself and the other person about who you are and what you want. Sometimes nice, sometimes not. Just you. If they can accept that, then chances are they'll like you more in the long term. And if they can't, there's truly no reason to worry about it. Someone will. EDIT: I think Art's advice about sending the package to work is probably not a good way to go. Fantasize about it, maybe. But don't actually do it.
Author luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 You knew this was coming. Didn't you? You weren't living in the jungle, convincing yourself that the only thing I lay eyes on is what I'll believe. Wha?? Whether he wants his stuff back or not ~ he is still the same person. Yea, a needy, manipulative, suck-up jerk. Better that he took his stuff now, early on in the relationship, than 1 year from now. Because you and I know, you'd have clung onto that man like monkey to a branch. Wha?? I don't blame him, as being evil or rather immature. He just wants his stuff back, no matter from a child or a grown-up. He has his boundaries -part of it feeding his ego to compensate for the loss. His ego issues are my problem now? That's the way men are. Did you expect different? Rightfully, there are tons of 'nice' men out there -but this is one just proved to you how shallow he can be. Uh, yea I expected him to be an adult.
Author luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 This just goes to show you how the prototypical Nice Guy never really is. Underneath it all they get to be extremely bitter about the fact that their Niceness never yields the kind of payoff that they imagine it will. The fact that it's really just a (conscious or unconscious) manipulative ploy to get a good response from women just means that it's actually fake. It probably did work on Mom, which is probably the only person in the world who would have provided the positive reinforcement for that behavior. But what other woman in the world wants to relate to you like Mom did? Whether you're faking niceness or faking being a "Jerk/Bad-boy", the results will always be the same. The ploy will somehow backfire, and you'll end up feeling ripped off. The behavior that results in the greatest possible long term positive outcome is to be honest with yourself and the other person about who you are and what you want. Sometimes nice, sometimes not. Just you. If they can accept that, then chances are they'll like you more in the long term. And if they can't, there's truly no reason to worry about it. Someone will. Excellent post! Thanks, Johan. I just love the way you word stuff. EDIT: I think Art's advice about sending the package to work is probably not a good way to go. Fantasize about it, maybe. But don't actually do it Gotcha!
Sand&Water Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 RE: Yea, a needy, manipulative, suck-up jerk.* . . . *Uh, yea I expected him to be an adult. The two statements above conflict. Do I need to spell it out? Someone who is needy, manipulative, and such-up jerk can't possibly be an adult in your eyes. He views himself as an adult, doing things to please himself. Yet, the way you see it is just another child playing with people's emotions. Re-read my post, and you'll understand. He wants to be able to give, and receive back validation without having to sacrifice/overlook anything. Well reality taught him a thing or two ~at least, I hope it did. Sand&Water
Author luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 Well, I've decided to just let it go. To give him his stuff back with no argument or acknowledgment of his stupid request. The truth is that I have about four other things that is not on his list that I was going to send to him. But, hey...I've decided to just toss that stuff. Nothing good can come from immature confrontations. Just makes matters worse. I refuse to resort to his level. Nor, will I give him any satisfaction of seeing me pissed off.
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 To give him his stuff back with no argument or acknowledgment of his stupid request. That is best... If I were you though I would pull the band aid off quick.. otherwise he will drag the drama out. Maybe hand deliver him his stuff instead of mailing it.. make sure you put it all in too.. he knows what is over there and if you don't put it in there it will just prompt him in a week to email you again and ask for it.. Other than asking for a prearranged payment for a $500.00 front door I can't think of anything that I have ever asked for after a breakup. ( and I got told that I could afford it that she wasn't going to pay for it.. which is what happened in the end I just let it go... ) Even all of my Ex's have never asked for their stuff back either.. it is just stuff.. easily replaceable by going to the store.
Author luvtoto Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 That is best... If I were you though I would pull the band aid off quick.. otherwise he will drag the drama out. Maybe hand deliver him his stuff instead of mailing it.. make sure you put it all in too.. he knows what is over there and if you don't put it in there it will just prompt him in a week to email you again and ask for it.. Other than asking for a prearranged payment for a $500.00 front door I can't think of anything that I have ever asked for after a breakup. ( and I got told that I could afford it that she wasn't going to pay for it.. which is what happened in the end I just let it go... ) Even all of my Ex's have never asked for their stuff back either.. it is just stuff.. easily replaceable by going to the store. He even asked for his toothpaste he left. I am going to rip the band aid off ASAP! His email was drenched with "I'll come and get it from you..." or "write me back to let me know...". How's about I put your **** in a box, and mail it to you. End of story. He also wondered if my daughter wanted to stay in contact with him. Couple sentences down from him wanting my son's dvd player back.
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 He even asked for his toothpaste he left. He also wondered if my daughter wanted to stay in contact with him. Couple sentences down from him wanting my son's dvd player back. Oh my.... his toothpaste.. hahahahahahahahaha Clingy... make sure he gets it all back..
Guest Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 I wouldn't take the DVD player away from your son. Even if you replace it, it'll still hurt his feelings. No matter how mad you are, your son shouldn't suffer. Besides, keeping the DVD player and telling him that he can NOT ask for a GIFT that he gave a KID back will stick in his craw. If you give him that, too, you're just keeling over. I wouldn't do it. No WAY.
Author luvtoto Posted December 7, 2006 Author Posted December 7, 2006 I wouldn't take the DVD player away from your son. Even if you replace it, it'll still hurt his feelings. No matter how mad you are, your son shouldn't suffer. Besides, keeping the DVD player and telling him that he can NOT ask for a GIFT that he gave a KID back will stick in his craw. If you give him that, too, you're just keeling over. I wouldn't do it. No WAY. I feel it's a better form of revenge to just do nothing. By getting pissed off at him and sending a bitter email, will only feed his ego & hurt me. He is obviously trying to get me wound up. My son won't suffer. I am buying him one this weekend. It's just the thought of this guy being a taker-backer, just cause it didn't work out between me & him. I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing me jolted or trying to keep the lines of communication open to figure this mess out. I am going to just send it off quickly, pay for it myself, and never speak of him again. I don't want a guy like him. He'll get the picture.
Author luvtoto Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 I emailed him yesterday. I asked him point blank what his home address was. I searched the internet first hoping to find it there, but didn't. dang! He *called* me last night. I wasn't home. He told my daughter to tell me that he was sorry for getting mad at me during our breakup phone conversation. He STILL didn't give his home address. He is still smothering me, yet we are supposed to be broken up. Sooooooooooooo.......I emailed him back a one-liner that said, I just WANTED your home address. Don't worry about my feelings, just worry about your own. Basically...**** off!! He wrote me a two paragraph email today, WITH his home address way on the bottom. He stated: "I just wanted to say that I do still want to be friends. Whatever that entails, passion or not we did make good friends and we did have some good times. I'm not mad or emotional anymore, I just want my friend back. Sorry you got to see my down side you weren't my everything but you were my something special. I know I'm not special to you anymore and I respect that. If you want to save face at your christmas party I can go with you as a friend. If not I understand to tell you the truth I didn't expect it to last past Thanksgiving I was actually surprised you came." What an idiot. (I'm rolling my eyes, but I ain't smiling)
Author luvtoto Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 I should email him back and tell him I already have a date for the Christmas party! No, nonono! Bad Luvtoto!
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 See... I told you this was going to continue.. you should've taken it to him He isn't going to drop this.. He obviosly could've bought more toothpaste.. but this way he gets to keep the contact going and keep laying out the emails and contact with your kids.. You know that you need to stop emailing him and stop all contact with him after this Save face.. oh please.. what an ass.. like he was so special that he needs to be at your company Christmas party.. hahahaha
blind_otter Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 See... I told you this was going to continue.. you should've taken it to him He isn't going to drop this.. He obviosly could've bought more toothpaste.. but this way he gets to keep the contact going and keep laying out the emails and contact with your kids.. You know that you need to stop emailing him and stop all contact with him after this Save face.. oh please.. what an ass.. like he was so special that he needs to be at your company Christmas party.. hahahaha word. kill the line of communication between you two. He is acting like a little kid, if he can't get + attention he'll settle for negative attention.
Author luvtoto Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 See... I told you this was going to continue.. you should've taken it to him He isn't going to drop this.. He obviosly could've bought more toothpaste.. but this way he gets to keep the contact going and keep laying out the emails and contact with your kids.. You know that you need to stop emailing him and stop all contact with him after this Save face.. oh please.. what an ass.. like he was so special Yea. That's exactly how I feel. Oh, please. (sticking finger down throat) :laugh: I reeallly didn't want to drive over an hour (one way) to give him his stuff. If I did that I thought he would really read into that and think, "wow, she must like me! She's driving all that way." He'll be standing there at the front door all smilie and blech! I don't want him to drive up to see me either. NO way! So, I was going to mail it. Like, good-riddence! Screw you! Hope it doesn't get lost in the mail! I figured that was pretty cold.
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2006 Posted December 8, 2006 So, I was going to mail it. Like, good-riddence! Screw you! Hope it doesn't get lost in the mail! I figured that was pretty cold. Is it mailed yet ?? send it 2nd day air or Fed Ex so he gets it quicker and then this drama can at least move to the next level of stupidity
Author luvtoto Posted December 8, 2006 Author Posted December 8, 2006 Is it mailed yet ?? send it 2nd day air or Fed Ex so he gets it quicker and then this drama can at least move to the next level of stupidity Yep! I mailed it yesterday. I got his crap over there as quick as my little feet could carry me! The freight was $10 something. I just couldn't stand looking at his stupid toothpaste any longer. I am through with dating. Just done with it. Yes, this is stupid! I agree completely.
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