rosebud6712 Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 hi everyone, this is my last resource to try to get some sense of relief for myself, or better yet, a sense of understanding. i just recently went through a rough breakup, and i'm still confused as to what i should do. i'll sum up my situation. i am a 30 year old women who was dating a 22 year old. we knew each other for 5 years through mutual friends, and just hooked up last year, we dated for a year and a half, and everything was great at first. we took the steps to move in together, and then our "problems" started. normal everyday getting to know each other problems, but my ex had the habit of "running" away from me, instead of trying to fix things. we would fight, he'd be gone, for days on end, and this eventually started tugging at my trust issues with him. i mean the love of my life leaves cuz we fight, and i don't hear from him for days? what is a girl supposed to think? ok so anyways, it didn't work, he backed out at the last minute when we were supposed to move into another place together, and basically hung me out to dry. i had no place to go and thank goodness for a close friend of mine that took me in and is letting me stay till i can get into a place by myself. so a month goes by, i hear nothing from him, it's like he just left, and didn't break up with me face to face, i had no closure, and was left with lots of questions........so i get a letter from him, explaining how he is lost and doesn't know what he wants, and he loves me but right now we need to be friends, and i jumped on this, i was so happy to hear he wanted me in his life even as a friend i was satisfied.......so were all human right we make mistakes? well we got together and one thing led to another and we slept together, which was a mistake, that we both recognized.....but he pulled away again, w/o explanantion, just leave me alone, i can't talk to you. after the letter? after he made the decision to be my friend?.....ok so i left it alone, for a little while, till i contacted him, and he actually spoke to me, this was about a week ago......he was calling me telling me how he is happy i'm in his life again, and that he feels better, and so did i. well i'm back in the same boat, being ignored AGAIN!!!!!????? what do i do, let him go? don't call him? i need closure and i just don't know how to get it. can someone help me...do i call him? or leave him alone? i hate being ignored!!!!!
Krytellan Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 This sounds very insensitive, but he is a child and you need to get a man in your life. Of course he runs away, he doesn't know how to step up yet. Look for someone who can offer you what you need in a relationship and can be a man in the process.
Author rosebud6712 Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 you are right krytellan, and everyone that i come across tells me the same thing, i guess i'm just trying to get over the whole rejection part. i did nothing wrong, and i really dislike how he's making me feel. i just need to move on, and forget him anyways.........it's just hard.
addicted2love Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I know exactly how you feel. I have a similar situation with a man I've been in love with for 17 years. He tells me that he loves me can't live without me, can't quit me and that he's never been able to "let it go" after all these years. We meet up and have a wonderful time together, we know each other better than anyone...Then he backs away...now he won't talk to me and won't give me closure, an appology or an explanation as to why. I've emailed him several times asking what happened. He won't respond. He's in his mid 30's so being immature isn't an excuse for my guy. Finding closure for yourself is so hard....I know I can't seem to find it for myself either. I would like to know also...why men run? I try to rationalize it in my mind ever way I can think of. Like maybe he couldn't handle his emotions. Who know's. It's so hard...hang in there, I hope it gets better for you. I know this doesn't give you answers but it might help to know that there are other people riding the rollercoaster with ya!
Author rosebud6712 Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 It does make me feel better knowing i'm not the only one in this boat. I ask myself the same question, why do men run? No matter how old they are it seems to be what they choose to do? Honestly I can't make sense out of it, and I'm hoping someday soon I can. Thanks for your feed back, and I really hope things work out for yourself also, 17 years shouldn't just be thrown away w/o an explanation. Keep your head up. I always hear this, even though I don't wanna believe it, that there's plenty of men out there.....
notmakingsense Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Do a search on "commitment phobia" -- it sounds like you've landed yourself a classic cp. He might be a cp simply because he is so young -- hard to tell.
Author rosebud6712 Posted December 6, 2006 Author Posted December 6, 2006 wow, commitment phobia huh? i never would have thought, but thank you i'm going to read up on it now.
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