ratingsguy Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I read on the OW/OM board that there is a big difference between the two, but what is that difference? Why would someone file for separation and not divorce, and vice versa?
dgiirl Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 separation is the waiting time until the divorce is final. The couple is not living together (ie separated), but the courts/law has not fully recognized the marriage disolved (divorce). Separation has the uncertainty if the divorce will go through or not. A lot of couples contemplate reconcillation during this period, and thus it's often a threat to other relationships. A couple who remains separated for a long period of time, with no intention of filing for a divorce, often do so because they have not fully moved on. They are still holding on to a piece of the past.
FlyingHigh Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I read on the OW/OM board that there is a big difference between the two, but what is that difference? Why would someone file for separation and not divorce, and vice versa? Seperation can be looked at as a "last resort" to see IF a marriage can be saved---a time out so to speak when counseling and everything else has failed to make it work. The married couple still love each other but they're not "ready" to throw in the towel just yet. It can a precurser to a divorce. If there is OW/OM involved, the "betrayed spouse" (BS) will unlikely WANT their cheating spouse back. AND the longer the seperation, the likelihood that the marriage may not be salvageable. Sometimes, in cases like this, neither spouse "really" get around to filing for divorce because of financial and children issues, cannot afford a divorce either way. Don't have the money or have too much to lose. For the OW/OM, they look at it as their MM/MW being closer to the "finish" line with champagne chilling on the sideline. That's probably why to the perspectives of the OW/OM ,seperation and divorce can be one of the same temporarily. Either way, their MM/MW is NOT WITH their spouse. Give it enough time, however, they will evenutally demand the divorce in order to "acquire" the same benefits that do go along with a marriage. Divorce is the icing on the cake so to speak.
EnigmaXOXO Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I depends on the marital/divorce laws of your particular state, but I had to wait out the l-o-n-g legal separation period because we filed under "irreconcilable differences." This is often recommended when a married couple has children, as well. It gives the family (and/or married couple) the opportunity to reconcile before the dismantling of the family and/or marital assets … in the event they change their minds after getting a little bit of well needed distance from each other. And those who bail out of their marriages hastily in the heat of the moment (or for all the wrong reasons) usually tend to change their minds and want to come home after recognizing the permanence of such a life altering decision. However, I have two female friends living in the same state who were granted immediate divorces because they were able to provide evidence of adultery. In some states, you're not considered legally "divorced" until the separation period has expired. So unless it is specifically stated in your separation agreement and mutually agreed upon, entering another relationship outside of that marriage (if contested by either party) may still qualify as adultery. But again, divorce and/or marital laws differ from state to state, so it's wiser to consult an attorney for the all the facts and information you need.
Guest Posted December 7, 2006 Posted December 7, 2006 Quick question: what's the statistics about how many separations ended in actual divorce? What's the percentage?
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