"Nice girls"

[amaysngrace]

Ahhh yes, cos "fat" girls (or guys for that matter) don't deserve love or could possibly give love, let alone be a fantastic girlfriend or mate... PLEASE! I'm so sick of men judging women by their size! If men weren't so into the outside most of us would probably be in happy relationships...period! Now i'm not saying women aren't judgemental either, but we don't base EVERYTHING on the physical like men *seem* to do...

 

 

grr!

 

I'm shallow. I wouldn't date a fat guy. To me fat suggests someone who tries to fill an emotional void with food.

 

You can call me a bitch if you'd like.

[SmoochieFace]

I'm shallow. I wouldn't date a fat guy. To me fat suggests someone who tries to fill an emotional void with food.

 

You can call me a bitch if you'd like.

 

That's deeply insightful indeed. Nice slap in the face to those who struggle with weight issues that aren't necessarily caused by mere overeating.

[sadfish]

Not every person who is "fat" is that way by eating...genetics and disease can actually have something to do with it...lol. I eat very healthy and exercise 4-5 times a week and am not a size 6...lol...and i wouldn't want to be!! I have a thyroid condition and am big boned--but i guess most people, again, because we judge by the outside, would think that i sit around and shove junk food in my face all day, which couldn't be further from the truth. I'm a very active person but i guess because i have a tummy and jiggly thighs i'm not worthy of someone's love, right?

 

To each their own i guess...

[IpAncA]

Yeah blame guys for everything :D Bitch is bitch, jerk is jerk, wuss is wuss....it is only their fault. Even if they were spoiled by parents they are adult now and can change themselves or shut up.

 

Girls go for MEDIUM. Guys go for MEDIUM. Balance is the key.

 

Don't roll your eyes at me . So it's mean girls fault because they can get dates and nice girls can't? I wonder why they can't. Humm.... It may not be the guys fault, but if they like bitchy girls and some do, then actually you can't really blame anyone for it. It's just what they like.

 

Sure balance should be the key and with the right guy or girl the balance is there.

[DanielMadr]

Ahhh yes, cos "fat" girls (or guys for that matter) don't deserve love or could possibly give love, let alone be a fantastic girlfriend or mate... PLEASE! I'm so sick of men judging women by their size! If men weren't so into the outside most of us would probably be in happy relationships...period! Now i'm not saying women aren't judgemental either, but we don't base EVERYTHING on the physical like men *seem* to do...

 

 

grr!

 

World is cruel place....sometimes

 

We cant help it. Those are our instincts.....fat = I would have to hunt for three....and....cant escape predators - will get eaten soon.

 

Women criteria for men are not so OK also....listen to guys crying here. Not strong, no self-control, no patience = BAD HUNTER - no good woman

[DanielMadr]

Don't roll your eyes at me . So it's mean girls fault because they can get dates and nice girls can't? I wonder why they can't. Humm.... It may not be the guys fault, but if they like bitchy girls and some do, then actually you can't really blame anyone for it. It's just what they like.

 

Sure balance should be the key and with the right guy or girl the balance is there.

 

So if it is not guys fault then it is nobodys fault:rolleyes: Yeah keep saying that. Somewhere up there I gave cca 4 reasons why guys dont go for "Nice guys". I give you yet another reason.....You pity yourself too much but you dont want to change only looking who to blame....guys, society, parents, bitches etc.

 

It sounds to me like those Nice Guys crying....'I cant get any girl because all girls go for jerks' So he is sitting home watching TV, playing video games and doing nothing. It is your choice.

 

I personally dont date so called bitches, I like more shy, not wild kind of girls. I think I dont need another man in relationship But I know Nice girls are NIce mostly for insecurity reasons.....and to cope with that is pretty hard.

Confident and Playful women, who are feminine - arent afraid of their submissive side technicaly speaking are the best but very rare.

 

And....where can I find those Nice girls? And to pick up one it is pain in the azz also....you have drag every word out of her, she wont initiate anything.....its more like rape then mutual sex And you have no guarantee she will get any better. Kids with insecure mommy are insecure too...poor kids.

 

I gave you the worst scenario to slap you a little bit, please dont argue with me that this is not your case or whatever:eek: :rolleyes:

[amaysngrace]

I'm a very active person but i guess because i have a tummy and jiggly thighs i'm not worthy of someone's love, right?

 

 

Hey, some men prefer a woman with meat on her bones. It's a personal preference. If you're active then you probably would be a good mate for someone.

 

There's a lot to be said about stamina, sweetie.

[Yamaha]

The bitches are always so much more interesting than the nice ones. They give you **** and then they give you love. I guess it is a pattern men go through to validate who has the upper hand. If you can break down a bitch the nectar is so much sweeter because of the road traveled. If you like an upside down life a nice girl will not give you the surprises you desire.

 

My 2 1/2 cents

[amaysngrace]

Hold up... why is it that people make the assumption that if a girl (or guy) is 'submissive' then the other person will crap on her/him? Why do people almost always assume the worst about others?

 

 

I didn't say submissive, I said SO submissive. Not having a backbone in a relationship is bad, Smoochie. For both men and women. Being able to express your needs and seeing that they are met is a personal responsibility we all share with ourselves. If needs aren't being met because someone's afraid to speak up about it, then they are too submissive and most likely being crapped on, or feeling like they are anyway.

[BARBGURL]

So if it is not guys fault then it is nobodys fault:rolleyes: Yeah keep saying that. Somewhere up there I gave cca 4 reasons why guys dont go for "Nice guys". I give you yet another reason.....You pity yourself too much but you dont want to change only looking who to blame....guys, society, parents, bitches etc.

 

It sounds to me like those Nice Guys crying....'I cant get any girl because all girls go for jerks' So he is sitting home watching TV, playing video games and doing nothing. It is your choice.

 

I personally dont date so called bitches, I like more shy, not wild kind of girls. I think I dont need another man in relationship But I know Nice girls are NIce mostly for insecurity reasons.....and to cope with that is pretty hard.

Confident and Playful women, who are feminine - arent afraid of their submissive side technicaly speaking are the best but very rare.

 

And....where can I find those Nice girls? And to pick up one it is pain in the azz also....you have drag every word out of her, she wont initiate anything.....its more like rape then mutual sex And you have no guarantee she will get any better. Kids with insecure mommy are insecure too...poor kids.

 

I gave you the worst scenario to slap you a little bit, please dont argue with me that this is not your case or whatever:eek: :rolleyes:

 

 

I am a confident and playful woman who is not afraid of my submissive side. I'll even put on my studded leather collar and hand you the leather riding crop to prove it! Oh, wait, that may not be what you meant. Nevermind.

[the_alchemyst]

You always hear about how nice guys tend to finish last with women. How women all say they want nice guys, but it is the guys that don't treat them quite as well that they fall madly in love with. Maybe not the downright ********* abusers, but not the stereotypical nice guys, either.

 

Is the opposite true as well? Do nice girls finish last?

 

I've been looking around lately and the girls that seem to mistreat their boyfriends the most are the ones who consitently have guys completley "in love" with them and ready to give more up to be with them. There are plenty of posts to validate this, too. Almost all the posts with guys moaning about how crazy they are about someone involve that someone somehow mistreating them a little.

 

I have self esteem but when I'm in a relationship I feel the need to give my all. I put my SO first and consciously make every effort not to hurt them. And yet, every boyfrined I've ever had has been lukewarm. And it isn't that there's anything wrong with me or that I somehow place "lower" on any kind of objective hotness rating than the mean girls. Why is this?

 

Maybe I should start being a b*tch.

 

 

I completely agree with you. I think that if I'm ever going to have a boyfriend who really loves me, I'm going to have to become a raving b*tch.

 

No joke.

 

And let's see, here:

 

Problem with so called nice girls is....

 

1. They can be too insecure to a point that you are afraid that she will commit suicide when eventually dumped

 

I think I'm insecure about a lot of things, but I'm also 100% certain that my exbf never thought of me as suicidal. I would never commit suicide because a guy whom I loved didn't love me in return. I'd be very sad, yes--just like I am now, but I wouldn't kill myself. No way.

 

2. They can be very shy to a point that you dont know if she is interested or not interested but afraid to tell you more clearly.

 

I am shy and serious at first. When we first met, some 6 years ago, he knew I liked him, not because I told him, but because I made it pretty obvious, so I don't think he ever had a doubt back then.

 

When in the relationship with him, he never doubted my love for him.

 

I just didn't let it be so.

 

3. They are not very sexual. Dont initiate touching are not very sure about anything....too structured and not spontaneus...too controlling themselves.

 

I never really initated anything sexual with him, but he always called me a nympho. He never complained about our sexual life--in fact, we sometimes wondered if we were going overboard, which always ended in laughter.

 

4. They are pretty smart most of the time, good for them.....but they have that attitude thinking they are smarter then that guy asking them out. Which is arrogant and turn off.

 

I think I am "smarter" than him in some/most regards. He is definitely way smarter than me when it comes to technical things, that's true, and we both knew this. When it came to other things, though, we both knew I usually had the upper hand.

 

Yet I was never arrogant at all. And he seemed to like the fact I was "smart" (at first, anyway). And I always told him he was smart, anyway, because I really think is/was. He's just lazy. (Sometimes I told him I thought he was smarter than me because it always made him smile, and because sometimes I really did think so.)

 

So, wtf's wrong with me? I will never know.

 

Maybe I'm just "too nice."

[SmoochieFace]

The bitches are always so much more interesting than the nice ones. They give you **** and then they give you love. I guess it is a pattern men go through to validate who has the upper hand. If you can break down a bitch the nectar is so much sweeter because of the road traveled. If you like an upside down life a nice girl will not give you the surprises you desire.

 

My 2 1/2 cents

 

Whatever... I don't understand why someone would want to have an 'upside down life' full of seesawing drama. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, I suppose.

 

I just don't find snotty holier-than-thou biotches attractive. Period.

[DanielMadr]

I am a confident and playful woman who is not afraid of my submissive side. I'll even put on my studded leather collar and hand you the leather riding crop to prove it! Oh, wait, that may not be what you meant. Nevermind.

 

I do mind;) I prefer my bare hands to artificial crop:p

[amaysngrace]

Yet I was never arrogant at all. And he seemed to like the fact I was "smart" (at first, anyway). And I always told him he was smart, anyway, because I really think is/was. He's just lazy. (Sometimes I told him I thought he was smarter than me because it always made him smile, and because sometimes I really did think so.)

 

So, wtf's wrong with me? I will never know.

 

Maybe I'm just "too nice."

 

It seems like you put too much emphasis on the intelligence level you two had. I don't really understand that. Of course you're going to be with someone who is close in brightness as yourself, but did you have anything else in common with this guy or what?

[DanielMadr]

I completely agree with you. I think that if I'm ever going to have a boyfriend who really loves me, I'm going to have to become a raving b*tch.

no joke.

 

Oh come on. Like those Nice Guys...I have to be a herk to pull some:lmao:

And let's see, here:

 

 

 

I think I'm insecure about a lot of things, but I'm also 100% certain that my exbf never thought of me as suicidal. I would never commit suicide because a guy whom I loved didn't love me in return. I'd be very sad, yes--just like I am now, but I wouldn't kill myself. No way.

 

But you know what I meant, right?

 

I am shy and serious at first. When we first met, some 6 years ago, he knew I liked him, not because I told him, but because I made it pretty obvious, so I don't think he ever had a doubt back then.

 

When in the relationship with him, he never doubted my love for him.

 

I just didn't let it be so.

 

But you would be better when you get rid of your shyness.

 

I never really initated anything sexual with him, but he always called me a nympho. He never complained about our sexual life--in fact, we sometimes wondered if we were going overboard, which always ended in laughter.

 

IMPROVE. You dont have to die shy and not so sexual nympho

 

I think I am "smarter" than him in some/most regards. He is definitely way smarter than me when it comes to technical things, that's true, and we both knew this. When it came to other things, though, we both knew I usually had the upper hand.

 

Yet I was never arrogant at all. And he seemed to like the fact I was "smart" (at first, anyway). And I always told him he was smart, anyway, because I really think is/was. He's just lazy. (Sometimes I told him I thought he was smarter than me because it always made him smile, and because sometimes I really did think so.)

 

So, wtf's wrong with me? I will never know.

 

Maybe I'm just "too nice."

 

Maybe you think too much and you think too much of yourself that you dont accept you have to change your ways. Nice People are not always nice because they are nice...they are sometimes just afraid. Get rid of your fears and then be nice, thats NICE.

[the_alchemyst]

I was just replying to the "problems" someone else had posted, in an attempt to clarify (to others and myself) that these "problems" were not present in our relationship.

 

Kind of like, "Well, they weren't those things, so WTF is wrong with me?"

 

And of course we had other things in common. Plenty, actually.

[BARBGURL]

I do mind;) I prefer my bare hands to artificial crop:p

 

 

Ok, but only if you make sure to leave a good handprint!!

[IpAncA]

So if it is not guys fault then it is nobodys fault:rolleyes: Yeah keep saying that. Somewhere up there I gave cca 4 reasons why guys dont go for "Nice guys". I give you yet another reason.....You pity yourself too much but you dont want to change only looking who to blame....guys, society, parents, bitches etc.

 

It sounds to me like those Nice Guys crying....'I cant get any girl because all girls go for jerks' So he is sitting home watching TV, playing video games and doing nothing. It is your choice.

 

I personally dont date so called bitches, I like more shy, not wild kind of girls. I think I dont need another man in relationship But I know Nice girls are NIce mostly for insecurity reasons.....and to cope with that is pretty hard.

Confident and Playful women, who are feminine - arent afraid of their submissive side technicaly speaking are the best but very rare.

 

And....where can I find those Nice girls? And to pick up one it is pain in the azz also....you have drag every word out of her, she wont initiate anything.....its more like rape then mutual sex And you have no guarantee she will get any better. Kids with insecure mommy are insecure too...poor kids.

 

I gave you the worst scenario to slap you a little bit, please dont argue with me that this is not your case or whatever:eek: :rolleyes:

 

Well I'm curious as to what you think my case is now.

[the_alchemyst]

Oh come on. Like those Nice Guys...I have to be a herk to pull some:lmao:

 

 

But you know what I meant, right?

 

 

 

But you would be better when you get rid of your shyness.

 

 

 

IMPROVE. You dont have to die shy and not so sexual nympho

 

 

Maybe you think too much and you think too much of yourself that you dont accept you have to change your ways. Nice People are not always nice because they are nice...they are sometimes just afraid. Get rid of your fears and then be nice, thats NICE.

 

WHAT!

 

Sometimes I don't think that I'm shy so much as I am just quiet. There is a difference. And this is at first. With him, I wasn't all that quiet. I'd talk a lot (but not to the point where I'd annoy him) about both stupid and intellectual things.

 

And I talked just as much as I listened.

 

But in general, at first, I am just a quiet person. Pardon me for not wanting to talk out of my ass in a group of strangers. Those people seem annoying and obnoxious to me.

 

When in familiar company, I talk. Sometimes it even gets me in trouble (I guess I can be too opinionated at times).

 

As far as sex, I'm not going to say that I'm "Omygawd, I think I just saw jesus!!" good, but I don't think I am bad. He was always pleased. A little too much, I think. He was into some kinky lingerie stuff, so I gave it a go, and it turned out to be quite fun.

 

So, while there is certainly room for improvement, as there always is, I don't think he can complain about me when it comes to that.

 

And I was uber nice to him because it came naturally to me. I loved him, so I didn't see a reason to be a b*tch to him. It's just not my way, I guess.

 

And I guess therein lies my "fatal flaw."

[amaysngrace]

And I was uber nice to him because it came naturally to me. I loved him, so I didn't see a reason to be a b*tch to him. It's just not my way, I guess.

 

And I guess therein lies my "fatal flaw."

 

 

There's a huge difference between being bitchy and being assertive. But it really is just about how you feel about yourself.

 

I would never hurt my BF deliberately. That would be bitchy. But if he somehow hurts me, I let him know by being assertive. And if I unknowingly hurt him, he brings it to my attention and I approach it with empathy and understanding. Because I am sorry for doing or saying something to hurt him.

 

It's easy to say "hey this is wrong with me" and be all sarcastic about it, but it's much more of a challenge to understand why you are the way you are and work on changing it if it's to your own detriment.

[DanielMadr]

Ok, but only if you make sure to leave a good handprint!!

 

You will be glad not to pee yourself:confused:

[DanielMadr]

Well I'm curious as to what you think my case is now.

 

I dont know you......instead of you dont like rolling eyes:D

[DanielMadr]

And I was uber nice to him because it came naturally to me. I loved him, so I didn't see a reason to be a b*tch to him. It's just not my way, I guess.

 

And I guess therein lies my "fatal flaw."

 

Simply.....NO. Try harder;)

[DanielMadr]

There's a huge difference between being bitchy and being assertive. But it really is just about how you feel about yourself.

 

I would never hurt my BF deliberately. That would be bitchy. But if he somehow hurts me, I let him know by being assertive. And if I unknowingly hurt him, he brings it to my attention and I approach it with empathy and understanding. Because I am sorry for doing or saying something to hurt him.

 

It's easy to say "hey this is wrong with me" and be all sarcastic about it, but it's much more of a challenge to understand why you are the way you are and work on changing it if it's to your own detriment.

 

Very smart. Thumbs up....all four

[IpAncA]

IMO I think that both mean and nice girls can be read wrong. There seems to be some misconceptions about both sides and how the way each person views them.

 

Thats why these nice girl and nice guy threads always turn into debates. Because everyone has their own views and ideas as to what nice girls and nice guys are. Same goes for other way or any other hot topic.

 

Some like to date them and some don't and that's ok. It's just what they like.