Well, I'm done...

[mav100]

So I sent her an email today apologizing for emailing her yesterday, telling her I wish her the best of luck with Brian, maybe we can be friends at some point, just not now, and to take care of herself.

 

She responds back with a snotty email about some money I owe her and some things I have left at the house.

 

I called her to discuss the money and the stuff still at the house, she hangs up on me since she told me I needed to set up a time to pick up my stuff when Brian won't be at the house, and I told her "What's the sense? I know he's practically living there already thanks to the neighbor that my friend Charlie works with."

 

I sent her a nasty email after she hung up on me, telling her that she needs to stop playing the victim, that she lost nothing on this, and I lost a girl that I thought would be faithful and I thought I would be engaged to shortly, I lost the option to try to get custody of my son since I am no longer going to be with her and in a situation where that would work, that I'm driving a LEASED car 50 miles one-way to work every day, and now instead of turning it in at the end of the lease, I'm going to have to buy it out, and I'm living with my mother who I don't get along with.

 

She called me on her lunch and told me that everything was my fault, that she didn't cheat on me with Brian, that he was only there to go with her to make sure her dad's rental apartment had been vacated, and that if I had reacted differently, things wouldn't be like this. I told her she was full of ****, that I had previously accused her of talking to Brian, and if she was serious about me, she wouldn't have called him to go with her, especially since she had already been accused of cheating. I ended up hanging up on her.

 

I thought about things. The final word is that she is a dirty, dirty ho. She brought this on herself. I am much to good to be wallowing in sorrow and guilt for someone whom I treated like gold and who treated me that way. I sent her an email telling her this, although, it was much more graphic.

 

I'm done with her. I don't deserve that. She screwed up, not me. No matter what I thought of her before, it doesn't change what SHE did. There is no reason for ME to apologize.

 

If anyone sees me complaining or whining about her again on this board, come to Albany NY and hit me. She's not worth it, and I am.

[mav100]

And by the way... Those of you who TRIED to tell me before that she wasn't worth the time because SHE cheated... I'm sorry I didn't listen sooner. I guess I just needed to hear some idiotic crap from her to make me see she really isn't who I thought she was.

[D-Lish]

Anger's a great method of getting over someone.

Can I have some of that anger passed my way?

 

I can't seem to get angry.

My ex did some real jerkish things to me with the break up.

I want to hate him for that- but I can't seem to find the anger...still only the grief and the self blame.

 

My ex also blamed me for everything. It's a horrible amount of guilt to internalize and I can't seem to shake it.

 

So what's your secret? How should I go about switching from grief to anger?

 

I am glad to see you've discovered your self worth through this though. Cheating is unforgivable in my books.

Now it's time for you to find yourself a date or two!

D

[mav100]

Well D,

As I'm sure you've noticed, it has been very hard for me to get angry at her. I kept thinking of her as the girl I thought I once knew who I would have never in a million years thought would cheat on me.

 

After listening to her today tell me how everything is my fault, how "nothing was going on with Brian" even though it made absolutely no sense that she would call HIM to go with her unless something fishy was going on and she thought I was out of town, how I used HER, and all of the garbage she keeps trying to spin to make herself feel better at my expense, I got fed up.

 

This is the 3rd time in a row that an ex has either cheated, left for another man, or both. I expected it from the first girl. I even thought it was possible with the second one. I would have never expected it from Janay.

 

However, now that she has pissed me off enough to take off my rose colored glasses, I can be angry and do what I should have done after I kicked Brians ass when I caught him at our house - tell her to take a long walk off a short pier.

 

Sorry if this seems rather hostile. I certainly AM angry at her, and for the first time ever, I'm glad that I am.

 

For whatever reason, the whole cheating thing, when looked at from the perspective I'm looking from now makes getting angry a whole lot easier.

[D-Lish]

Well, I do know that anger is a healthy part of grieving and a good method of getting over someone.

 

I guess I'm still working through all the blame my ex placed on me for the demise of our relationship. It was really hard not to blame myself for everything when he exploded on me. I'm still reeling over that.

 

I'm glad you're pissed. It sounds like she deserves your anger.

Cheating is unforgivable.

 

D

[UCFKevin]

The anger will pass. Then potentially regret or self blame will take over. Then you'll miss her a little. And then you'll wake up one day and a few hours will pass and you'll think to yourself, "Hey...I haven't thought about her at all today...wow..." and that'll be it.