I ruined everything and i and totally depressed

[apb7899]

My ex girlfriend won't talk to me. She never really said why she wanted to stop being with me. I reacted in anger and she won't return my calls or anything anymore. I loved her very much. I have dreams about her in my sleep and i wake up sad.

[notmakingsense]

Were there any hints as to why she stopped wanting to be with you? If it is something that you are at fault for, you should expect her not to want to talk to you for some time. Leave her a VM or e-mail and apologize for becoming angry and fess up to the things you may have done wrong in the relationship. Acknowledge them and describe to her what you are doing about it. Then -- leave her alone for a good long time. If she doesn't get back in touch with you, then you should still not contact her and focus on yourself and what you want to do with your life moving forward.

[apb7899]

I sent her text messages apologizing for my behavior, I even had my friend call her to apologize. She then said, that she would be willing to talk to me in a few days. I apologized repeatedly and also told her how regretful i am for not always being there for her. There appears to nothing left for me to do. It just hurts and i miss her dearly.

[notmakingsense]

You could maybe send some flowers with a brief note, but don't do much of anything else. Whatever you do, do not try to force her in to talking to you, and don't keep asking her about it. This will just make the situation worse.

 

When you talk to her next (I have a feeling she will contact you), try to be as light as possible, and let her control the pace of the conversation. If you feel like it isn't going well, LET IT BE. Tell her that you completely understand why she feels the way she does, and that you will leave her alone to decide what to do. Tell her that in the mean-time, you love her, you will think of her all the time, and you will focus on becoming the best guy you can in case she ever decides to strike up a new relationship with you. Then go NO CONTACT again.

 

If she doesn't contact you soon.... LET IT GO and stay NO CONTACT.... focus on yourself and becoming a great guy to another great woman! Think of this as a learning experience that will help you improve yourself.

[apb7899]

She already asked me to leave her alone and i have thus far and will continue to. She really hates me i think. I just wanted an opportunity to tell her i am sorry for being so selfish and for not being so great after she left. I think i mucked this up so badly that she will never contact me again. I dont think i deserve her anyways.

[ThatAin'tRight]

Hey man, just try to be cool. Go out and do things that might take your mind off of her even if it is just for a few minutes. Fight the urge to call and definitely work on yourself. Promising to change and actually doing it are 2 different things.

[J80]

ThatAin'tRight is so right. I spent so much time talking about how I was going to be a better man and never really pulling it off that now when I tell my ex I really WILL make myself better, she (understandably) thinks I'm just trying to talk her back into things.

 

My goal is to make myself a better person and fix things that I see wrong me, and then see what happens from that.

 

Getting mad about being dumped is a pretty natural reaction, she has to see that. If she can't even forgive you for being hurt by her leaving...maybe she doesn't deserve you.

[rosebud6712]

I understand your hurting because of how it ended...just not knowing what her reason was to leave you, but you must keep a positive train of thought and know that she isn't the only women you will ever love, if she can't have the decency to explain to you as to why she is leaving, then she isn't the women you want anyways.

[Guest]

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