alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 It's really just about enjoying people. Enjoying a laugh, a good meal, etc. It's not about who has the one-up on the other, who has a stronger guard up.. I agree....but you're just talking about what's visible and what's going on on the surface. Underneath there are many other things going on that aren't visible.
nicki Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I was once asked out by a well-known athlete who lives in my city. I knew him socially, and he asked me out. His status alone did not impress me, and his personality didn't either, so I said "No." Two minutes or two years later, whenever the call came, the answer would have been "No." Some women don't care about the whole image stuff, really. It's true. That said, I do like an alpha type male, but a nice, quietly strong one, with good manners....I think they do exist
BenThereDunThat Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I agree....but you're just talking about what's visible and what's going on on the surface. Underneath there are many other things going on that aren't visible. Explain, please. Sure, there's always going to be things going on in your head while you're sitting across from the dinner table on that first or second (or third) date, but if your end goal is not to get married, if you don't feel you HAVE to meet that certain person to "complete" you, then do you understand the freedom that gives you? On the flip side of what I've said above, I also don't want to be made to feel that if I call a guy that he's gonna think "heh, heh, duuude, she wants me baad..." Oh, really? Did it ever occur to you that I just want to party, hang out? That maybe if something did happen I'm gonna be the one laying there thinking, "ok, how nice do I have to be before he puts his pants on and leaves?"
Antheia Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 If you're not interested in him, why did you give him your number to begin with? Because I was lonely, bored, depressed, didn't want the direct confrontation of saying no. Every girl works differently. For me, I am very rarely interested in a guy and when I meet someone that really does it for me, yes I will go out with him even if he calls a month later. But I will inwardly resent him and think he is a flake and keep my options open with other men. Now, if he called within 3 days, I would probably fall head over heels in
alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Now, if he called within 3 days, I would probably fall head over heels in no...what you'll think ANTHEIA is "Wow, I'll have this guy wrapped around my finger within a month..."
BenThereDunThat Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 no...what you'll think ANTHEIA is "Wow, I'll have this guy wrapped around my finger within a month..." AAARGHHHH...where are you meeting women, Alpha??? In the 1950's?!!
Lostgurl Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 ... How about just calling whenever you feel like calling?! Why the stupid 'rules'? I am beginning to think that these 'rules' were devised by neurotic people who have been seriously burned in their relationships... jeez. LOL Nicely put SmoochieFace!
bluescreenlife Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I am beginning to think that these 'rules' were devised by neurotic people who have been seriously burned in their relationships... you might be on to something there... definitely the part about being burned in the past. once you've been wounded love can become a battle, and that's when you start looking for strategy. and yeah, why not ask her out in person? i always figured that getting a number is about getting to know each other when you're not likely to run into each other in person. if you're guaranteed to see her live at the gym, talking on the phone is a step down. a step up would be an actual date. and yeah, when i get digits i like to tell her I'll call on a certain day a few days away when I know I won't be busy. lets her know I have a life and saves her the wondering if I'm interested. Calling when you say you will is an easy way to show some class. Mind you, I should be getting more numbers... still stepping up to the single life here. onward I go.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I have been seriously burned in the past but I don't make myself rules to go by. I have always been myself around any woman. No games, no BS, just straight up Riddler. The only thing that has changed throughout the years is my ability to detect if I am coming on too strong, or not enough and my communication skills with woman have flourished as well.
alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I have always been myself around any woman. No games, no BS, just straight up Riddler. I find that quite ironic considering we're all on LS anonymously and using pseudonyms
BenThereDunThat Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I have been seriously burned in the past but I don't make myself rules to go by. I have always been myself around any woman. No games, no BS, just straight up Riddler. The only thing that has changed throughout the years is my ability to detect if I am coming on too strong, or not enough and my communication skills with woman have flourished as well. Finally. A male voice of reason.
alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Finally. A male voice of reason. I yam what I yam, ekh ekh ekh ekh
BenThereDunThat Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I yam what I yam, ekh ekh ekh ekh Oh, just go eat some spinach... G'night all....
Pyro Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Finally. A male voice of reason. Sorry I'm late. My accounting final was tonight and lets just say I am glad its over with.
johan Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I rarely ask for a girl's number without having secured a date of some sort first. It doesn't make a lot of sense. "I want to ask you something, so give me your number now so I can call you later and ask you." If she doesn't say yes to time together up front, then what good is the number going to do me? Mostly I approach it as if I'm just filling my time. There are things I'd like to do, and she can join me if she wants. If not, fine. If I've already fallen for her before I even work up the courage to ask her out, then I'm screwed. So I just assume nothing will happen, invite her to go hang out and do something, and then have fun. If that's all there is to it, then it doesn't matter when you call.
alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 If I've already fallen for her before I even work up the courage to ask her out, then I'm screwed. ha ha....thats true JOHAN. The more you have invested going in the more you have to lose if she blows you off.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Johan, I see that you decided to show your holiday spirit for just one entire day.
alphamale Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Johan, I see that you decided to show your holiday spirit for just one entire day. I also thought I would humour you for a day or two
Krytellan Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I have to say only play by the "rules of the game" if you want to find a game player. It all comes down to what you want in my book. If you want a girl who does not listen to her feelings and lives her romantic life by some contrived code that is not representative of what she really feels, then by all means, play by the rules. But if you're looking for someone who is more interested in getting to know someone that she likes, looking to spend time with someone she likes, then get her number, call her the next day (off-gym day) and talk to her. A little anecdote. I went on a first date with a girl about 5 weeks ago. I was a gentleman. We had wine, great conversation, lots of laughs, and ended the dinner about 5 hours later. She texted me an hour after we parted inviting me to go with her on a hiking thing she already had planned for early the next morning because she was curious to get to know me better. Now this act on her part could get 2 responses from me. I could either think she seems too needy because she didn't wait a designated amount of time before contacting me, or I could think that she was impressed by me at dinner and would like to see me again. The thing is, she knew that in doing this, she would find out which kind of guy I was. She was looking for someone who was unconcerned with games and rules and that cared more about being with someone they liked to be around. I accepted, we break all the "rules", and we are loving life together. What is it you're looking for? Proceed accordingly. If you want games, play the game. If not, be yourself and weed out the game players.
DanielMadr Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I wasn't playing hard to get - I was hard to get because I met a lot of men through my line of work, got asked out a lot, and dated men in cities all across the country. With me, you snooze, you lose. Arrogant. Admit you were not that flexible type of woman. Loyal and flexible women WHEN INTERESTED WAIT 5 DAYS FOR CALL.
Walk Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I like bold men who go after what they want. Waiting 9 days to call would subconciously lead me to believe he was a wuss. (especially if I see him half a dozen times in class before he wrangles up the courage to ask me out then does it OVER THE PHONE. no thanks.) Anyway, I think the "rules" were developed to help the insecure guys who don't understand how to read body language and lack faith in their own judgement. With rules in place then the natural tendency to inundate a woman with his presence is curbed, and toned down to a level that would approach normal confident male behavior. (Example: Bleach boy followed "the rules" religiously, and lacked all semblence of confidence.) I've been spending a few years in the world of paid writers, and I'm learning how FULL OF BS they are. I've talked to several writers at conferences abotu freelance writing. These relationship books aren't scientific, aren't able to be proven. Use them as ideas and alternatives. Don't take them as gospel. I've written a few articles on "relationships" with great success. I know I'm full of BS. Do you know partly what makes Alpha successful with women? He shows confidence. Goes for what he wants, but when he wants it. He isn't putting himself in a state of agitation over whether to call in 5 days or 9. He listens to others advice (<- that's still inconclusive) and makes up his own mind on when to act, how to act, and what he wants. Confidence. Trusting your own thoughts and ideas. I believe that's also what changed in KMT's situation. He went from virgin to hot stud in a short period of time (his words). He's confident. Didn't take rejection as the end of the world. kept trying. Believed in his own abilities. I'm not saying throw the books out the window... but for pete's sake, put more stock in your own thoughts and abilities then you do those books. Use them for ideas and alternatives. But ultimately, grow your own pair and use them.
DanielMadr Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I like bold men who go after what they want. Waiting 9 days to call would subconciously lead me to believe he was a wuss. (especially if I see him half a dozen times in class before he wrangles up the courage to ask me out then does it OVER THE PHONE. no thanks.) Anyway, I think the "rules" were developed to help the insecure guys who don't understand how to read body language and lack faith in their own judgement. With rules in place then the natural tendency to inundate a woman with his presence is curbed, and toned down to a level that would approach normal confident male behavior. (Example: Bleach boy followed "the rules" religiously, and lacked all semblence of confidence.) I've been spending a few years in the world of paid writers, and I'm learning how FULL OF BS they are. I've talked to several writers at conferences abotu freelance writing. These relationship books aren't scientific, aren't able to be proven. Use them as ideas and alternatives. Don't take them as gospel. I've written a few articles on "relationships" with great success. I know I'm full of BS. Do you know partly what makes Alpha successful with women? He shows confidence. Goes for what he wants, but when he wants it. He isn't putting himself in a state of agitation over whether to call in 5 days or 9. He listens to others advice (<- that's still inconclusive) and makes up his own mind on when to act, how to act, and what he wants. Confidence. Trusting your own thoughts and ideas. I believe that's also what changed in KMT's situation. He went from virgin to hot stud in a short period of time (his words). He's confident. Didn't take rejection as the end of the world. kept trying. Believed in his own abilities. I'm not saying throw the books out the window... but for pete's sake, put more stock in your own thoughts and abilities then you do those books. Use them for ideas and alternatives. But ultimately, grow your own pair and use them. Very true. Walk at her best btw When you read those "dating manuals" you can see authors go from TRICKS&MIND GAMES to INNER GAME (self-improvement). Another thing is...due to marketing reasons they claim any guy can pull the best chic only by acting. I hate actors (team america movie©) Read it only to prove your gut right.....some experience is concentrated in these books. But in the end of a day it takes balls, self control and luck only. You can call when you feel like it...just be sure you are not needy....if you want to call out of insecurity or boredom go out and hit some karate classes instead.
blind_otter Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 You've forgotten about him, but you won't reject his invitation? If it's too late for the butterflies in your stomach, then why would you bother to go out with him at all? free meal. I've done it.
SmoochieFace Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 I bothered to read though the whole thread this time... Nothing pisses me off more then this crap as far as dating is concerned. I am a very physical person, you need to be in my direct line of sight or you are absolutely nothing to me, I am the type of person that could never ever hold a long distance relationship, I need to touch, see, speak to, and be with the person that I am seeing. It makes no sense to me why you are with a person if your only going to have dinner and screw once a week when you both get off of work on Friday night, it makes no sense. That being said, if you ask for my number and then wait a week to call me when you pick up your phone to do so you will find a message left on day #3 informing you exactly how lame it is to ask for someones number if you are not going to call them and that mind games are stupid bs that have no place with me. I will then promptly delete your number from my cell phone and never pick it up when you call again. I have done this with at least 20 men. If you like someone and want to be with them you need to tell them that. Beautiful. This post needs to be set in stone someplace and read by every single person as a rite of passage. Possibly the best thing I have ever read on this site.
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