Guest Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Before I broke up with my gf, I had confided in one of my female friends. She really lifted me up during the dark times, and I was very grateful. I was into money trouble and she even helped me out with that. It turns out she loved me the whole time, and when I told her I only wanted to be friends, she started stalking me, and making me feel very uncomfortable. She would give me things and I would say no because I knew she was doing that to get control over me. I needed to force NC quickly, because her behavior was freaking me out. But now the situation has arisen that I have gotten into severe money trouble and can't pay her back, and haven't been able to for a while. I don;t want to break NC and make her think she can be friends with me again, but I need her to know I am not taking advantage of her and want to pay her back!!!!! Quite the situation. I feel I should let her know that money will be coming in soon, but I don't her following me again. What do I do?
Guest Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 If you owe her money, you owe her money, and not paying it back means that certain aspects of the relationship are alive and well - that is she's doing you the favor of not taking you to court in return for...? And even if she stops asking, in a few months she could bring it up again as a pretext for contacting you. You need to give her a specific date that you will pay it back and tell her that once it is paid you do not want to see or hear from her ever again, that is if she is still following you. If she isn't following you anymore then don't contact her until you can pay her. If you break her heart AND take her money, she can't exactly be blamed for filing some kind of civil suit to at least get her money back and have that go on your credit record- BTW are you sure this isn't your own debtors conscience, since you owe her money but feeling guilty for not paying it and assuming she's following you out of obsession and not just because she wants her money?
stillafool Posted December 20, 2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Maybe you should write her a letter and send it "certified Mail" so you have a receipt that she received it. You can tell her of your current financial situation and let her know that you have every intention of repaying the loan and will be in contact with her when you get on your feet. Keep a copy of the letter. She may try to take you to court and at least you can show that you weren't trying to run from your responsibility.
Recommended Posts