moonylola Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I've written here before, but something transpired since. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. He went away on a business trip and came back just to tell me that he no longer had feelings for me. I sensed right away there is somebody else and last night he basically admitted it. He has a fling with somebody in a foreign country right now - which resulted in sex, I'm pretty sure, and this overwhelming passion. He is all about her now, constantly text messaging her, writing to her, maybe calling too. I'm not staying home now, I moved out for a little bit. He is totally blind and deaf to me now. Though he tells me he is not ready to break up with me and wants to wait for his feelings to come back as we've always had a great realtionship. And he sees a future with us, and isn't sure if there's a future with her since they are from different cultures and countries. I think he's just sitting on 2 chairs. He doesn't need me in his life, I feel it. I'm not sure I'm ready to move on yet since I have feelings for him and still love him. But I have to have the respect for myself and get up and go on with life. I am sure this fling will be over in a couple of months (a lot of us go through that) and it holds no future for him. I'm just not sure I need someone like that even after 6 years together - I know I'm a great girl and deserve to be loved. And one more thing - I think it is worth fighting for someone, but don't see the point of fighting against someone when all we have is the great past and no present, and she occupies all his thoughts. How will he get me back if he doesn't have me anywhere around him in his mind and heart? It's all about her now. Am I right in letting it go, just leaving his life and learning how I can make myself happy again? Or is it worth waiting for him to snap out of his fling? P.S. We both moved here from Russia 2.5 years ago. We've shared a house together, and the majority of people we know are our common friends or colleagues.
bab Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 But I have to have the respect for myself and get up and go on with life Exactly. Don't let him have the best of both worlds. Move on with your life and don't give him the safety net he is asking of you. It's unfair for you to put your life on hold for him. Get going. If you secretly desire to get back with him a couple months from now, fine, but don't let him know that. And you could meet someone else in that time frame as well.
bluescreenlife Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 dude wants to have his cake and eat it too. Ask yourself if you're cool with an open relationship - that seems to be what he's making of it. I think open relationships can only work if the primary bond is strong and the one who's fooling around can separate emotions and sex. If you're not up for sharing him, give him a night of hot sex and then let him know it's her or you... if he's smart he'll come to his senses. If you are up for it, I'd say you get a screw-other-man-free card.
KittenMoon Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Should you wait for someone who walked out on you after 6 years for a fling? In a word, since I see you moved from Russia: Nyet.
daphne Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 No. You already said it. All you have is a great past. Right now, he's acting like an animal with no foresight. That's not something to look forward to.
Krytellan Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Yes my dear, you are the back-up plan in case things don't go the way he hopes they do. Don't give him that option. After what he has done to you, he doesn't deserve to ever talk to you again.
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