Do I just have bad luck or what?

[daphne]

Oh shoegirl.

 

You are overlooking one flaw that can't be undone. This guy does not have integrity. I don't care how nice you think he is now. One of these days,you'll be like his ex. Wondering what other girl he's flirting with and preparing to move onto after he's done with you. You are doing the very thing you said you didn't want to do early on. You are now compromising your own integrity. You said you didn't want to hurt his ex girlfriend. But you are, selfishly, yielding to your own needs.

 

I'm sorry that this is harsh. I was there once. After 34 years of swearing I'd never do that to another girl I dated a guy who broke up with his ex for me and he turned out to be one big nightmare. He seemed like prince charming. I had a long list of things he'd do to make me happy. But it was all smoke and mirrors. And when things didn't work out, he went right back to his ex to hurt both of us some more. The whole situation hurt like a son of a gun but in the end, I knew I deserved what I got because I had brought bad karma into it with my own selfishness.

 

A guy who will break up with one girl to date another girl is one step above a cheater.

[magichands]

It's not really important but just curious.

I wouldn't put too much thought into what I think. I'm just saying... that kissing means a lot in my book. I don't deliver the sort of passion you are talking about without a groundswell of feeling for that person.

Thanks for being on my side... slow down... what?

Haha. What? I agree that I'm confusing.

[magichands]

But you are, selfishly, yielding to your own needs.

I agree with the thrust of your post, daphne. But I don't think ShoeGirl is being selfish.

 

This guy doesn't seem to need any encouragement at all. He is charging her like a wounded bull.

 

I think ShoeGirl is just feeling a little vulnerable right now, and this dude is making her feel wanted and desirable. That's powerful stuff.

 

Thankfully she seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and can see his behaviour for what it is.

[magichands]

Hey... I don't have that high of expectations... however my expectations did go up after the last guy...

Sorry about that... another one of my silly jokes. I'm not sure that I've had the pleasure of kissing before too many of my first dates. Make that never, actually.

 

One of these days I might actually be funny. I think I'm trying too hard.

[ShoeGirl]

daphne-

I know what he has done and I know what I said before, and I have been thinking about both a lot. I am going to take this break from him and the life I have in this city and think about what I need to do. I am not sure right now if I should date someone, I know I want to... I like the feeling of being in a relationship, but I don't know if I should. I am in my senior year of college, only 6 months to go, and right now that is my first priority, not dating.

 

magichands-

Kissing does mean a lot to me too, its not like I just kiss random guys, he is only the 4th guy I have ever kissed. You are right I feel a little vulnerable, and I keep trying to protect myself from getting hurt again, and at the same time I love being around this guy, even when we were just studying. I am constantly battling over what to do, hang out with him and have someone fun to be around for a while or cut off contact with him and just focus on school and not worry about dating. I am pretty sure that I can't get away with just hanging out with him for too long, and I want both right now. I need to figure it out. Why can't I just listen to you telling me to slow down, this all happened so fast, I kinda feel like I wasn't in control of it at all.

 

Hey... I don't have that high of expectations... however my expectations did go up after the last guy...

Sorry about that... another one of my silly jokes. I'm not sure that I've had the pleasure of kissing before too many of my first dates. Make that never, actually.

this was me trying to be sarcastic and it didn't work so well... sorry about that, I wasn't trying to be mean, I got your joke and I was attempting to joke back.

[magichands]

or cut off contact with him and just focus on school and not worry about dating.

Just one thing - you make it sound as if he is the only guy out there!? I know you are really, really into this dude, but I think it's a mistake to look at this in such a black-and-white fashion.

 

You are a great catch, ShoeGirl. I know you feel great when you're around him. The trouble is, right now you are kind-of vulnerable. You might misinterpret your feelings as him being really good for you.

 

I'm just saying. Be careful, that's all. He might be good for you, ShoeGirl... I just don't want you to end up being hurt.

 

Maybe you need some more time to heal? Maybe some time to yourself will help to show you that your happiness is not so dependent on being in a relationship? Just thinking out loud, here. Of course I am hoping for the best for you.

Why can't I just listen to you telling me to slow down, this all happened so fast, I kinda feel like I wasn't in control of it at all.

Funny, that. Possibly my only bit of good advice (ever!) falls on deaf ears. So disappointing.

 

Of course I am kidding. Who doesn't get swept away in a torrent of emotion?! I think you're handling this very well.

this was me trying to be sarcastic and it didn't work so well... sorry about that, I wasn't trying to be mean, I got your joke and I was attempting to joke back.

I think you're just smarter than me, ShoeGirl. I can dish it out, but I can't take it. Hahahahaha. P4wned!

[ShoeGirl]

I know he is not the ONLY guy out there but from my point of view there aren't very many single guys at my school in fact most guys at my school are married. And I know that I will be basically be living at school until graduation.

 

I just drove for 6 hours and I thought about this a lot, I think that he is good and bad for me. He is good because he has made me realize that there are guys out there that are interested in me that I am also interested in, and he mas helped relieve a lot of stress by helping me study and get through this last quarter of school. I think that he is not good for me in the fact that he just broke up with his girlfriend, who knows what will happen with that over the next few weeks, and the fact that I know what he did when his girlfriend wasn't around.

 

I haven't heard from him since he left my apartment the other night, which I find kinda odd because before that I would hear from him almost every night. I am trying not to think too much about it and I will see what happens over the rest of my trip and what happens when I get back.

 

Magichands, your advice has never fallen on deaf ears here, I always listen even if it is hard to accept what you have told me, I still think about it. I will be careful when it comes to this guy. I am just glad I have a few weeks away to think this through.

[magichands]

Good luck, ShoeGirl!! May the LoveShack bunnies be with you. :bunny: