Do I just have bad luck or what?

[ShoeGirl]

About a week ago a guy from one of my classes asked if I wanted to study for finals with him. We have studyed almost every day since then and he has been really flirty with me. We met to study this afternoon and after a few hours I mentioned that I was hungry and should walk across the street to the sandwich shop and get food.

 

He said that we should go off campus and get food since the food on campus isn't all that great anyway, I agreed so we left school and went to find food, we ended up at this little cafe. When the check came I got out my wallet to pay for mine but he said that he would pay.

 

About an hour ago he texted me asking about some school stuff, we talked via text messages for a while and I asked what he was up to... ready for this response... I am hanging out with my girlfriend!

 

What is he thinking? He hasn't mentioned her for the last week, tonight he bought me dinner... I don't get it!

[allina]

Ooooo that sucks! I don't think anyone has to announce "I'm taken!" for no reason but buying you dinner is a hint he's interested, I would be shocked too.

[ultimon]

Yeah, that's just mean. He was probably using you to fill in the void when his gf wasn't around.

[ShoeGirl]

Ooooo that sucks! I don't think anyone has to announce "I'm taken!" for no reason but buying you dinner is a hint he's interested, I would be shocked too.

 

I don't expect people to announce that they are taken, but I wouldn't expect taken guys to act the way he has for the last week, especially tonight.

 

It's just frustrating that the first two guys I am somewhat interested in after my last relationship ended are both already taken, and they are both the ones who initiated hanging out in the first place. Not to say that just hanging out is bad but just a little depressing that they were both already taken. It's not like I need another relationship right now anyway.

[jenniferlm]

well maybe he's just the kind of guy who buys dinner and/or drinks for women even if they are just his friends. I have had a couple of male friends like this.

and a lot of people don't bring up their personal lives w/ people they have just met until they get to know them a little.

But he probably should have told you about the g/f. I'd mention something to him like "oh, I didn't know you had a g/f! You've never talked about her before, you should have said something sooner...blah blah." I'd say this in a nice way w/ a smile. So he doesn't think you are being forward w/ him or hitting on him.

[the_alchemyst]

Yea, that does suck, SG.

 

I think it was totally misleading of him to be flirting with you, texting you, and buying you lunch because it makes it seem like he's "free" and interested in you, when he's not. Sure, he doesn't have to tell you, "Yo, my name's Bob and I have a gf. Wanna study for finals?" or anything like that, but he should make it seem like he's interested in more than studying if he's in a relationship.

 

That's just wrong, imo.

 

But, well, I don't think there's any explanation to this other than you have been unlucky these two times.

 

But well, you're just starting to play the dating game, I guess, since the break up wasn't all that long ago, and from what I've heard, it's not always such an easy game.

 

So, hang in there. You'll find something.

[magichands]

What is he thinking? He hasn't mentioned her for the last week, tonight he bought me dinner... I don't get it!

ShoeGirl?? Come on, now. You are a smart girl. Don't act all mystified and say, "I don't get it!"

 

You know... he is wanting to cheat on his gf with you. Maybe this is a feeble attempt to justify to himself that "I told her, over and over, that I was taken - but the femme fatale still came after me and I could not resist!!"

 

From your previous posts it seems OBVIOUS that he has been interested in you since the get-go.

 

And then this.

It's not like I need another relationship right now anyway.

So you want to be part of the cheating equation, it seems. That's the tone of your message. Hey - it's not for me to judge.

 

But this sentence says to me, "Oh... nevermind, I didn't want you anyway - the timing is all wrong for me."

 

Sure!?

 

You are DESPERATE for another relationship right now to feel WANTED again. To feel desired, and complete. If only for a moment.

 

I'm just kidding, ShoeGirl. I like you a lot. But listen to yourself, really. This stuff isn't flattering your character - from my perspective.

 

Why don't you set your sights on finding a guy with integrity. I'm pretty sure this guy's integrity is thin on the ground. You can do a lot better - I am sure of it. You're barely "on the market" for a week or two and you have guys fawning all over you.

 

Steady, ShoeGirl. Steady.

[the_alchemyst]

Don't mind me.

[magichands]

You can do a lot better - I am sure of it.

I changed my mind. You can do a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot better, ShoeGirl. You are the prize!!!! Now stop stroking the egos of guys that don't deserve your attention.

 

I'm not completely alien to the need for a little ego boost myself, but you really need to believe in yourself, ShoeGirl. Don't allow your self-image to be so "manipulated" by people that don't deserve your respect.

 

From your posts, I'd say you are a great catch. You're smart, and sensitive. Your taste in guys is a little questionable, but hey - nobody's perfect.

 

I'm just saying (a celebration of 10,000). This guy is not treating his gf with respect. Remember THAT.

 

And you're the prize!!!!

 

PS: To be clear - I'm not "hitting" on you, ShoeGirl. As much as I like you, I'm a pink elephant. There's too much of a cultural barrier to cross, believe me.

[Antheia]

PS: To be clear - I'm not "hitting" on you, ShoeGirl. As much as I like you, I'm a pink elephant.

 

Nice one MH. Last thing she needs is another rejection. Even if it is from a pink elephant.

[magichands]

Nice one MH. Last thing she needs is another rejection. Even if it is from a pink elephant.

Fine. You're so sexy, ShoeGirl, that just one look from you can send my trunk into uncontrollable quivers of pre-orgasmic ecstasy. One touch from you can make me melt into a river of pure passion. :bunny::bunny:

 

And don't even get me started on you, Antheia!

 

But then who wants a pink elephant with NO integrity??!! Just me, I guess.

 

Are you trying to get me in trouble? I have my eye on another elephant - show some respect yourselves, okay??

[DanielMadr]

About a week ago a guy from one of my classes asked if I wanted to study for finals with him. We have studyed almost every day since then and he has been really flirty with me. We met to study this afternoon and after a few hours I mentioned that I was hungry and should walk across the street to the sandwich shop and get food.

 

He said that we should go off campus and get food since the food on campus isn't all that great anyway, I agreed so we left school and went to find food, we ended up at this little cafe. When the check came I got out my wallet to pay for mine but he said that he would pay.

 

About an hour ago he texted me asking about some school stuff, we talked via text messages for a while and I asked what he was up to... ready for this response... I am hanging out with my girlfriend!

 

What is he thinking? He hasn't mentioned her for the last week, tonight he bought me dinner... I don't get it!

 

He is probably a girl....sorry to break it to you. Girls do this kind of stuff

 

Being a girl he can be playing games (hard to get), looking for alibi (she knew I was taken).

 

OR

 

He was trying to pull you for how long? You played hard to get probably and he is pissed now and returning to his girlfiend (real one or not) and simply telling you this to save face.

 

OR

 

He wasnt interested that much. For example I pay for girls even if Im not interested in them. I invited zhem, I pay.

[ShoeGirl]

ShoeGirl?? Come on, now. You are a smart girl. Don't act all mystified and say, "I don't get it!"

Thanks for thinking that I am smart... I think I can be too, but I don't get it, what is the point of him wanting to be around me everyday?? What the heck has he told his girlfriend every night that he has been studying with me until 11 or 12?

 

From your previous posts it seems OBVIOUS that he has been interested in you since the get-go.

This is a different guy than the one I was talking about a month ago

 

So you want to be part of the cheating equation, it seems. That's the tone of your message. Hey - it's not for me to judge.

No, no I don't want to be part of the cheating equation, I refuse to be that person. You have read my other posts, I'm sure you get that I don't put up with cheaters anymore.

 

You are DESPERATE for another relationship right now to feel WANTED again. To feel desired, and complete. If only for a moment

Yeah I do want to feel loved and desired again, but that doesn't mean that I am should be in a relationship right now, I am still trying to deal with all the crap my ex put me through, why would I want to make another guy deal with all of that too?

 

I changed my mind. You can do a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot better, ShoeGirl. You are the prize!!!! Now stop stroking the egos of guys that don't deserve your attention.

 

I'm not completely alien to the need for a little ego boost myself, but you really need to believe in yourself, ShoeGirl. Don't allow your self-image to be so "manipulated" by people that don't deserve your respect.

 

From your posts, I'd say you are a great catch. You're smart, and sensitive. Your taste in guys is a little questionable, but hey - nobody's perfect.

 

I'm just saying (a celebration of 10,000). This guy is not treating his gf with respect. Remember THAT.

 

And you're the prize!!!!

 

PS: To be clear - I'm not "hitting" on you, ShoeGirl. As much as I like you, I'm a pink elephant. There's too much of a cultural barrier to cross, believe me.

 

Thanks Magichands, you are so sweet, but don't you worry I didn't think you were hitting on me, i'll let you and your pink elephant be

 

I am working on the self image thing... it got blown apart by my ex and I am trying to get it put back together now, it's not an easy thing to do.

 

He is probably a girl....sorry to break it to you. Girls do this kind of stuff

 

Being a girl he can be playing games (hard to get), looking for alibi (she knew I was taken).

 

OR

 

He was trying to pull you for how long? You played hard to get probably and he is pissed now and returning to his girlfiend (real one or not) and simply telling you this to save face.

 

OR

 

He wasnt interested that much. For example I pay for girls even if Im not interested in them. I invited zhem, I pay.

 

I am a girl and I don't play those games, when I am taken I act like it I don't go leading guys on... actually I don't lead guys on when I am single either!

 

I have only been talking to him for about a week, if I was playing hard to get I didn't see it.

 

He was acting pretty interested... calling me all the time... showing up at school when he knew I would be there studying (he lives 40 minutes away so it's not like he was in the neighborhood or anything)... wanting to study with me every single day... constantly texting me, even when he was with his girlfriend. Oh and get this... my family lives 300 miles away from here, which he knows, I am planning on going back there next week until Christmas, so he makes some comment in class today about going to my hometown in a few weeks. Someone asked him why there, and he said that there is some girl that she knows there, so I just glared at him. Maybe he wasn't refering to me but he told me the other day he hasn't ever been to my hometown before.

 

Whatever. I am tired of dealing with guys all together right now. I am just going to go back to my world of isolation and studying 24/7, no more going to school trying to be social and studying with other people, just me and my books.

[ShoeGirl]

Fine. You're so sexy, ShoeGirl, that just one look from you can send my trunk into uncontrollable quivers of pre-orgasmic ecstasy. One touch from you can make me melt into a river of pure passion. :bunny::bunny:

 

And don't even get me started on you, Antheia!

 

But then who wants a pink elephant with NO integrity??!! Just me, I guess.

 

Are you trying to get me in trouble? I have my eye on another elephant - show some respect yourselves, okay??

 

Hehe, you are awesome magichands! I love it when people can make me laugh!

[alphamale]

About an hour ago he texted me asking about some school stuff, we talked via text messages for a while and I asked what he was up to... ready for this response... I am hanging out with my girlfriend!

ha ha ha girls do this to boys all the time. except the boy still gets stuck with the check

[che_jesse]

You know... it is possible to have friends of a gender different then the one you yourself belong to.

[Rooster_DAR]

Maybe he and his G/F are open type and want to have a threesome, and perhaps their testing your posture.

[ShoeGirl]

You know... it is possible to have friends of a gender different then the one you yourself belong to.

Yes I know that, and being friends is perfectly fine with me but he was acting like he was single and was interested in me... thus leading me on. I would much rather be friends with guys for the time being but it doesn't make the situation any less frustrating.

 

Maybe he and his G/F are open type and want to have a threesome, and perhaps their testing your posture.

You are funny... I am pretty sure his girlfriend knows nothing about him studying with me or going to dinner with me, etc. But then again I could be wrong

[someone2]

I will just add that there is no way in hell that this guy didn't know what he was doing.

From the very beginning, he intentionally gave you the impression that he was single. You had every right to assume that, and he knew it.

 

Honestly, I have no idea what he was thinking, or what he is smoking. He looks pretty crazy to me.

[ShoeGirl]

I will just add that there is no way in hell that this guy didn't know what he was doing.

From the very beginning, he intentionally gave you the impression that he was single. You had every right to assume that, and he knew it.

 

Honestly, I have no idea what he was thinking, or what he is smoking. He looks pretty crazy to me.

 

Thanks for seeing it how I see it. I'm sure he knew exactly what he was doing, and still is, I just don't respond as much, I am only willing to study for our final and that is it!

[magichands]

This is a different guy than the one I was talking about a month ago

Hey ShoeGirl... I am very sorry about my reply. I guess I should actually read your posts before jumping all over the keyboard. Sorry!

 

This dude seems like he's after an ego boost at the very least. There's a backhanded compliment for you, I guess.

 

What a jerk.

Whatever. I am tired of dealing with guys all together right now. I am just going to go back to my world of isolation and studying 24/7, no more going to school trying to be social and studying with other people, just me and my books.

Oh, come on. Please don't be like that.

 

If you hide away, then that dilutes the numbers of the people out there that value integrity. Join the fight! Haha. You're getting plenty of interest from guys - even if some of them are jerks - and I think you just need to slow down, and get comfortable with yourself. You're a great catch, and there is absolutely no need to be rushing around and "collecting" validation. Believe in yourself first.

 

If you demand respect, then I'm quite sure you will be swept off your feet in no time. Enjoy being single - I don't think it's going to last.

 

Good luck.

[ShoeGirl]

Hey ShoeGirl... I am very sorry about my reply. I guess I should actually read your posts before jumping all over the keyboard. Sorry!

No worries!

 

Oh, come on. Please don't be like that.

 

If you hide away, then that dilutes the numbers of the people out there that value integrity. Join the fight! Haha. You're getting plenty of interest from guys - even if some of them are jerks - and I think you just need to slow down, and get comfortable with yourself. You're a great catch, and there is absolutely no need to be rushing around and "collecting" validation. Believe in yourself first.

 

If you demand respect, then I'm quite sure you will be swept off your feet in no time. Enjoy being single - I don't think it's going to last.

 

Good luck.

I will slow down, you told me that before and I listened until this next guy came along and was acting interested and I got excited that maybe something would come out of it. I am leaving this city for three weeks, going back to my parents for the holidays, I think the break will help me slow down again.

[magichands]

this next guy came along and was acting interested and I got excited that maybe something would come out of it.

It's enough to get anybody up on their tippy-toes. When the right guy comes along, then it will be time to let your heart bolt like a team of wild horses.

 

Will he survive?

[ShoeGirl]

 

Will he survive?

If he is the right guy he better survive :bunny:

[ShoeGirl]

This guy is driving me crazy! We had our final that we had been studying for this morning after that he stopped me and asked what I was doing this weekend, I told him I am working a lot, she said that he was going out with his gf on friday so we should go out Saturday... I just said I work late so it won't work and left. This afternoon he texted me saying that since he won't get to see me before I go home he might just drive over there to see me (my hometown is 5 hours away). This is the 2nd time he has mentioned driving to my hometown, he told me that he has never been there before, so it's not like he is going for another reason and hoping to run into me while he is there.

 

What am I supposed to do? I am not going out with him this weekend, but what do I do when he shows up in my hometown... I don't think he knows exactly where I live but he seems to know more about me than I have told him anway... why would he drive over there if he doesn't know how to find me once he gets there. He has a girlfriend, why is he wanting to drive 5 hours to see me? I really hope he doesn't drive over there.