silentalways Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 u can't skip the frienship part of a relationship i recently met an amazing woman and we both sort of went 'omg! no-way', and went 0 to 60, then realized not only had we skipped over the friendship stage of things but discovered we still have some personal issues to tackle first so we decided to take care of those things first and then see what happens - worse case is we become great friends and enjoy music and go out sometimes. that sounds pretty sweet and delicious to me and its great that we both could step back, see what was happening and take care of ourselves before getting too far ahead. what a refreshing way to support and show trust, care and love for another. personally, it was something that really pushed me to tackle things seriously so a big thank u to her.
moman Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 That's exactly right. Rushing things is a sure-fire way to lose. When I date someone I am not looking for sex. THat's what a FWB is for. Someone who I am dating needs to be a friend first and best friends make the best lovers. Going 0-60 quickly creates strong but shallow emotions that are destroyed by the simplest misunderstaning or misspoken word. Taking things slow results in a deep but weak (at first) emotional fire that is able to put aside minor misgivings and develop a true understanding and love for the other person.
Pyro Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 You are right about that. I made that mistake once and I later found out just how insecure and childish my ex was. The worse part was I put up with it for so long and she brought me down to her level. I will never make that mistake again. Definitely know who you are going out with before you go out with them.
Author silentalways Posted December 5, 2006 Author Posted December 5, 2006 well, as usual we were somewhere in the middle, when it was not started based on 'hooking up' but a mutal admiration of music and upon meeting and after only a few conversations it was clear how easily we trusted and opened up and solved little problems [things that were obviously lacking previously regarding communication] - so it was more like 'omg, i am going to eat u all up!' because when u find someone that has basically been hungry for the same thing and totally understands what it 'takes' it is easy to go 0-60, 24hrs - until the emotion and passion and opportunity is hit by the 'work undone' and then that's when u do the right thing, and back off [another healthy sign] and that shows respect. we both had some issues, but mine were greater, and because we both believe one 'gives their all' in a relationship and not just '70% now, the other 30% when i find the time to deal with those nasty little side issues [always bigger than we let on] - we were about to actually 'talk' about this - in person, a few times! weird eh! it does happen people! trust me.
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