What do I do when I'm at fault too, but...

[confused06]

Me and this guy have been dating for about a year and a half. i am a college student and he is a working man. we live about an hour and a half from one another, but we see each other almost every weekend. we have been best friends since I was about eight and he was eleven. We broke up about 2 or 3 months ago, but we still continued to have sex and act as if we were in a realtionship, just without the title. he knew that if he did something that i was leaving for good and vice versa. i got fed up with not having a title so i stopped calling him as much and i stopped having sex with him; i just distanced myself from him. we have been through so much together, both ups and downs. we were best friends at one point in time.

 

well...he called me begging me to come and see him and like a fool a gave in and visited him. he tried to have sex with me, but i didn't because we weren't in a relationship. so he said that he just wanted to hold me because he missed me. so last night he told me that he had sex with another person. he said that it lasted for about 15 seconds and that he stopped because it didn't feel right. i cried my eyes out and didn't get any sleep last night, because we had just had sex two weeks prior. it wouldn't be so hard to just leave and not forgive him, but i had sex with someone else too...only i didn't stop and it was with my ex and he doesn't know. i'm so confused, should i forgive him because i did it too?

[norajane]

If you're not dating, both of you are free to have sex with others and neither of you needs to feel guilty. You have nothing to forgive because he's not your boyfriend. He's an ex that you were still having sex with.

 

You two need to stay away from each other - no sex, no friends, no nothing. That may help you get some clarity on whether you want to be together or not.

[confused06]

That really makes a lot of sense. Thanks a lot for the much needed advice!