addicted2love Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 How many of you have broken NC? After 3 weeks I broke NC....I've composed several emails over the last 3 weeks but never sent any of them. This time I couldn't help myself. Every time I'm alone and not busy I start thinking about things I want to say to my exMM and then I type it all out. I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him but instead of calling I compose stupid emails that I don't send. I refuse to call him...at least I've got that going for me. Has anyone else been through this? Broken NC? What were the results? Good..bad? I'm just curioius. Does the desire to talk to someone you love ever go away? Does the curiousity of how they're doing ever end? I don't expect a response from him...the email didn't really ask any questions just told him the things I'm going to miss about him and that I hope he is happy. I didn't really even tell him how I was feeling...just that I would always love him. No "you hurt me bad" crap. Even though I wanted to tell him that. Am I nuts? A2L aka slave2love
pjammer Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 How many of you have broken NC? After 3 weeks I broke NC....I've composed several emails over the last 3 weeks but never sent any of them. This time I couldn't help myself. Every time I'm alone and not busy I start thinking about things I want to say to my exMM and then I type it all out. I wake up in the middle of the night wanting to talk to him but instead of calling I compose stupid emails that I don't send. I refuse to call him...at least I've got that going for me. Has anyone else been through this? Broken NC? What were the results? Good..bad? I'm just curioius. Does the desire to talk to someone you love ever go away? Does the curiousity of how they're doing ever end? I don't expect a response from him...the email didn't really ask any questions just told him the things I'm going to miss about him and that I hope he is happy. I didn't really even tell him how I was feeling...just that I would always love him. No "you hurt me bad" crap. Even though I wanted to tell him that. Am I nuts? A2L aka slave2love Ive tried to be in NC since the end of October. I sent 2 text messages (one in early Nov., and one on Thanksgiving), but that has been it. But today, I sent her some things I was planning on sending her for a long time, I just finally gave in
pjammer Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 did she respond? Not yet - I just sent the stuff off today.
theadventure50120 Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I broke NC a month ago. Gets you no where if your trying to move on.
D-Lish Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I was in the exact same position as you after my break up. We had zero contact, his choice...not mine. I too composed several e-mails ranging from the hateful "you're an ass", to the "I miss you, let's try and work this out"... In the course of 3 months, I have broken NC and sent him two e-mails~ both heartfelt "I miss you" kind of stuff. I didn't feel better after sending them. He didn't respond to either one. If you do end up deciding to send something, you just have to be prepared that you may not get a response, or may not get the response you're hoping for. Just make sure you can handle those possibilities if you send something. On the other hand, I found it quite therapeutic to write the e-mails in the first place. I got a lot off my chest- even though I didn't send them to him. Me? I wish I hadn't sent them- but I only say that in retrospect because he didn't respond to me. I guess a small part of me was hoping he'd come rushing back with open arms. It's been 6 weeks since I sent him anything- and I still fight the urge to do it every day. But I don't do it, mostly because I don't want to put myself in the position of being rejected over and over again. If you compose something you are thinking of sending, why not post it here first and get some feedback? D
pjammer Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 If you compose something you are thinking of sending, why not post it here first and get some feedback? D exactly, that's what I did...I got some mixed responses, but I ended up sending her what I wanted because, in my mind, I am comfortable either way - if she responds, or if she doesn't. Like you said, atleast I got some things off my chest, and she will know exactly how I feel, and felt about her the whole time we were together. I felt the 'risk' was worth it.
katarina774 Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 You are not alone. I haven't posted my story yet but I have always been use to talking to my ex. We just broke up a week ago. things had been going downhill for a while but we were still talking every single night b4 I would go to bed. I thought I was doing so good. Today made exactly 8 days without contact and then for some crazy reason I called him this morning. He didn't answer and I didn't leave a message but of course my # popped up in missed calls. argh I was so mad and disappointed in myself. Well approximately 30 minutes later my cell phone started ringing it was him, I just panicked and I didn't answer it, my friend was there but she didn't know I had tried calling him earlier. She was yelling at me to answer it bc she knew i wanted to talk to him. By the time I decided to pick up it was too late. Then immediately it started ringing again. I did answer it. He had actually worked on a laptop for me here while back and told me it needed a new battery, well stupid me started rattling off about how I bought a new battery and it still will not charge, etc. etc. and ask him what else it could be? He ask me if that is why I had called earlier and I said yes. I am such a big idiot, we talked for about 45 minutes and then I told him I needed to get back to work. I didn't ask him any personal questions and I didn't tell him how I really felt, etc. but he did ask me some personal questions and I couldn't lie, I actually did go on a date last night, it just made me miss him even more. However I told him everything was going great. I was upset after I got off the phone bc he didn't mention anything about missing me or anything. So go ahead everyone tell me how stupid and pathetic I am.
mav100 Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I just broke it today. I feel somewhat stupid about it too. However, it was good to get stuff off my chest. I doubt she gave a damn she got it though...
Trialbyfire Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 *raises hand* T'was worth every word... It was pure white hot rage for me until I had the opportunity to vent on the cause. After the bleed, I felt whole again, not a mess of roiling emotion.
Author addicted2love Posted December 5, 2006 Author Posted December 5, 2006 Katarina...I don't think you are stupid for playing it cool with him. Quite the opposite...might actually make him miss you more if he thinks you're doing fine without him. They say "the best revenge is success" Either way if you're focusing on yourself and even have enough energy to go out on a date with someone else I say good for you! Either way...he responded to you by calling you back...mine has me on ignore which hurts like hell. D-Lish...I don't expect a response from him. In fact I'm pretty sure I won't get one. I didn't ask him for answers or to respond...I only asked him to acknowledge that he read the email. I will be surprised if he even does that. Sux to be me! But thanks for letting me know I'm not losing my mind and that there are other people out there that back slide sometimes too! Thanks for your response! It's nice to know I can count on the people here at LS to respond when I have a question! It sure does help the grieving process!
katarina774 Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 thanks your words actually made me feel better. I think he is dating someone but I didn't ask. I only went out to get out of the house and actually try and not set and mourn over him like I usually do. I just wanted to say thanks for your words.
D-Lish Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 A2L, what were the circumstances of your break up? As for not getting a response, I know how frustrating that can be. I sent two very heart felt e-mails. Honest, revealing e-mails that took a lot out of me and they were never answered, not even acknowledged. Waiting for a response just set me back. I would send something and then obsess over the smallest possibility he would answer.... but it never happened. So I know how you feel about dealing with a stubborn ex. Their silence is like a punishment.... A whole year together, talking every day, then boom- nothing, completely cut off. It sucks not to have closure because they refuse to give it to you. Who knows, perhaps you'll get a response. But at least you have no big expectations. I hope that at least writing and sending it gives you a little bit of closure. Afterall, if they don't give it to us...we have to create it ourselves. Good luck, D
Author addicted2love Posted December 5, 2006 Author Posted December 5, 2006 You might remember me as Slave2Love...I posted "True Love or Bs?" it's on OW/OM in fact I think you responded to it. It's a long story but it's on page 2 if you want to re-read it. Long story short...Old flame contacted me after 13 years...got together...he professed undying love...bla bla bla and then backed off. The W found his phone bill and he said he wasn't letting me go but then never called me again. Won't take my calls and won't answer my emails. Just confused and hurt and want answers I'm never going to get as to why he would tell me such crap (even after we reunited) and then back off. At first he blamed it on her but I don't buy it. Not with...calling cards, prepaid cell phones and unlimited free email accounts. I say if there's a will there's a way. I just want to understand what the hell happened. Short of driving 9 hours and making him talk to me in person (which is soooo tempting) I'm stuck here wondering why? He wouldn't give me closure the first time we broke up either (13 years ago) but then came looking for me all these years later...poured it on thick said I was the love of his life and he "couldn't let it go". But won't talk to me...not even to say "hey I'm sorry" I just don't get it. It's making me crazy. If he would just tell me what the hell happened I could move on, ya know? I've already accepted that fact that we can not be together. I'm a realistic person. But I DON"T ACCEPT being tossed aside like garbage, and having my heart broken like I didn't mean a damn thing to him! That's what's so hard about all of this.
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