Seph Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Hi, I'm new to the site & am having a hard time in my current situation. So I thought I'd write in hopes of some insight... Well, first off a little about my past. I've been struggling for the past year and a half with dating. Maybe I'm too picky but I'll meet grils and find something I don't like or it just doesn't feel right. So I break it off before it gets anywhere. Now, I've meet & been hanging out with this awesome girl I meet through mutual friends. She has been everything that I'm attracted to, but there are some pressing factors. She is recently divorced & has gone through a lot this past year so she is moving out of state. Timing really sucks for us. I have been struggling with my feelings as of late becasue of our situation, I don't know whether to back off to protect myself from hardships. Or give it my all with an open heart knowing that her time is short & I'll be bummed when she leaves. I know that no matter what I'm not going to like seeing her go. There is a slight chance she may come back but things might be different, who knows. I do know that she is going through a lot of changes because of her divorce. She is finding out who she is, what she likes, and what she wants to do with herself. Hence the journey she is taking to get away. I know the more I hang out with her the more I am into her no matter what she is going through. I could be blinded though, I mean she could be testing the waters so to speak with the new freedom from the divorce? So do I take my chances with her, give it everything knowing she is leaving soon? Or do I suffer my losses & back off to something more along the friendship line? I know that if she were to come back & she had figured out who she is as a person, if I was still single & she was interested we'd have something. -Seph
moman Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 If you like her, go for her. Take the risk. If it doesn't work out then so be it, but at least you will have tried.
rina_r Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 You'll never know until you try. Every relationship involves some risk, and every relationship involves compromising. If you think that something good can come out - go with her.
norajane Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Recently divorced + moving away = no long term relationship potential. Yes, she's probably stretching her wings, and she might be interested in a short term relationship right now. But knowing that she's moving away and may or may not ever come back, if you think your heart is going to be on the line, you may want to step back. If you think you can keep it casual enough to not be heartbroken when she leaves, then go for it.
Author Seph Posted December 4, 2006 Author Posted December 4, 2006 I know my heart will be on the line, it will be rough when she leaves for sure. I just don't know if its good to supress feelings of the heart in fear of getting hurt? If I did back off, I'm afraid of pushing her away in the process although I really think she would understand. I just don't want to mess up any chances that may or may not happen by backing off. On the other hand I can totally agree with your point and I know she is going through trying times......I don't want any regret ya know? keep em coming and thank you all.... -Seph
Krytellan Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 I have to agree with Nora. Having just initiated a divorce myself, there is a time frame in which anything that develops is destined for disaster. If she is struggling with the "getting to know herself" phase, then anything you do with her should be with the utmost protection of your own feelings. If you are the kind of person that can enjoy her company without "investing" too much of yourself in the process, then by all means go for it. But go in healthily hesitant.
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