Spinderella Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Strange problem. I broke up with someone a few days ago. I thought they were taking the news very well, and it was quite refreshing, even though I was still very confused. They were being very friendly, to the point that I thought, I would have to stop contact because I was finding it more difficult than they were. Well turns out, I have discovered, that they dont realise I ended it. Now I have to go through the whole thing, including the emotions all over again.
notmakingsense Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 ???? How could you tell someone that you are breaking up with them and them not realize it? Perhaps your wording was a bit too diplomatic? How did you phrase it? Anyway, that does suck -- having to do it all over again. This time, you'll need to be a bit more explicit.
Buttaflyy Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 If you were clear and direct then something is not right about him/her. Maybe you weren't very clear. If you were then you have bigger problems then you know.
Kamille Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Sorry to hear things didn't work out, but you do have to follow your heart. Now, in preparation for talk number two: Tell yourself that you are doing the right thing both for you and for him. You can do this. You can get your point across. You really appreciated the time you spent together, but you don't see the two have a future together. Therefore you know it's best to break things off now. Use keywords such as 'not working out', "it's over" "break-up". Do not be afraid to take responsibility for the break-up. He might resent you for a little while, but he will eventually get over it. Better being clear once and for all then let it drag on. If all else fails, use the all-time break up signifier : "It's not you it's me". Good luck! let us know how it goes!
Spinderella Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Thanks for your replies. I did use those words. I think the problem may be that I had said them so many times. I was very confused. I spent the last few days getting over it and was alot of the way there, now I am confused again. Arrgh
Buttaflyy Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I did use those words. I think the problem may be that I had said them so many times. Now that makes all the sense in the world! Oh yeah, I've been there before. Said it so many times that once I meant it, I was not being taken seriously. Sorry girl, sounds like you've gotta repeat it. Be a little more firm this time and stick to your guns. Don't start doubting yourself if you really think it's best to end things. Good luck!
Spinderella Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 thankyou. oh dear. i really have to do it don't i? i thought i had done the hard part.
Kamille Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 You can do it! We're cheering for you! Perhaps one way to be clear it to go into NC for awhile? If you decide to that, LS has one awesome NC support club as you know.
Spinderella Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 Thanks. I'm just still so unsure. Is it because he isn't right, or simply because I'm not right? I suppose, it could be,I am just not ready for a relationship yet. Even if so, then it is still right to end it, but, it's not like I am a real spring chicken anymore, and when will I be ready? When I have lost my looks, and the only men around are carrying lots of baggage??
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