electric_sheep Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I'm sure this topic has been broached a million times, but that won't keep me from bringing it up again. In the heady first stages of love my gf and I used to tell each other "I love you" all the time. It was sincere and natural. Now my biochemistry has shifted to something more mellow, and I must say, even though I do love her, it usually isn't as palpable and constant as once it was. It is more like a dimmer switch, getting turned up and down. Sometimes it's up fairly bright, often it's more like ambient lighting though. It seems to shift and change forms. It just feels different. Anyway, should one repeat/proclaim this mantra "I love you" if they are not feeling it immediately within themselves at that very moment ? I believe my gf has over exposed me to the phrase. She says it repeatedly many times a day. Rarely a phone call ends without it being said. Can something said so often have any meaning anymore ? Surely she can't be "feeling it" every time she says it, can she ? I think she must use the phrase in it's long term since. This usage has caused some awkward moments for me, e.g., when the phrase is brought up and I'm actually sort of irritated with her at the moment. Anyway, silly post. I'm just a tad bored here at work today.
allina Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I've seen this happen with couples that say the L word much too soon, was this the case?
blind_otter Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I do the opposite. In the beginning I say the phrase rarely and use it more when I am entrenched in a long term relationship. It can be route, but I figure the repetition is a good thing. Reminds me when I forget.
Vanquish Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 I can sorta relate to you, i can only tell my girl i love her if the circumstances are absolutely perfect. To me those three words hold a hell of alot of substance in a relationship. Don't get me wrong though, its great that she tells you it so frequently, but i can understand where it would be like ok i know you love me you don't have to tell me everytime we talk. I think maybe in her situation its just how shes used to ending a conversation with you, just like we always end a conversation with ok talk to you later or something, she ends it with you that way because it seems right, and shes done it so much that its natural to her.
bluescreenlife Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 hmm, I ran into the same problem once. It's like differing sex drives... maybe people have different "I love you" drives. But I think maybe you've overexposed her. If you used to say it a lot and now it's less, she may worry that your feelings are less too. So, you might want to reassure her and say it even when you're not feeling a tender swell of emotion. also, a fun thing for everyone: try saying "you love me".
blind_otter Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 also, a fun thing for everyone: try saying "you love me". I've done this before a lot and it is fun! Good suggestion.
Lauriebell82 Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 ok well i'm kind of on the recieving end of the situation. when my boyfriend and i first starting saying i love u we would say it constantly and then it died down a little bit. we still say i love u but he doesnt go on and on about how much he loves me as frequently as he used to. i actually posted my concerns on here too so reading u guys posts has made me realize that maybe i am just being paranoid. i know he still loves me but it kind of confused me at first when he didnt say it as much. our relationship is more comfortable and i still love him like crazy. but my advice is that u probably said it so much at first that she is very confused why the sudden change. maybe u could still tell her how much u love her like my boyfriend does. any insight for me would be great too!
Wantingtogetitright Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 but in my situation it isn't said very often like every day or anything (we live together) but I can tell you when he says it out of the blue it means so much more to me than if it was all the time. we actually have a variation of it that we use say in the morning when he leaves for work etc but the full three words are so special and mean so much. get my drift?
Recommended Posts