SmoochieFace Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 It's in the way it's said and your body language. If you're nervious about what you're saying, that nervousness can be misinterpretted and come off as creepy. Also if the girl knows your personality, and suddenly you say something completely out of character, that can come off a creepy. This thread just remined me of this guy I used to know. All my friends found him creepy, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was just shy. Turns out he regularly hit his gf, so he was a creep. Not really that relevant, but... What was that saying about assuming? So if a guy is nervous, shy, whatever then he is assumed to be a 'creep'? Wow... I guess that means nervous and shy guys should refrain from approaching women then. Perhaps they should just live like a hermit too. Jeez... no wonder I don't appraoch women. I certainly wouldn't want some stranger making an erroneous assumption about me since I do not have the personality of a 'confident' badass.
crazy_grl Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 What was that saying about assuming? So if a guy is nervous, shy, whatever then he is assumed to be a 'creep'? Wow... I guess that means nervous and shy guys should refrain from approaching women then. Perhaps they should just live like a hermit too. Jeez... no wonder I don't appraoch women. I certainly wouldn't want some stranger making an erroneous assumption about me since I do not have the personality of a 'confident' badass. Uhh... ok.... I didn't say every woman thinks this or that in every case a shy or nervous guy seems creepy. Guys were wondering why they came off as creepy when another guy can do the same thing and get the chicks. I was just offering one possibility. As for: "What was that saying about assuming? :confused:" Of course it's not good to assume, and I was making no assumptions. Though it seems like you're implying that I was... The fact is that you can't help what assumptions other people make and when people behave strangely or socially awkward, some people interpret it to be creepy. If you know you're not creepy and you have no problem with how other people may interpret your behavior, then you've got nothing to worry about. However, if you don't like the reactions you're getting, then it's not a bad idea to analyze what other people might be wrongly perceiving about you.
norajane Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Creepy is in the eye of the beholder. Some things that might seem creepy to a woman who just met you: profuse sweating, talking about your mother a lot, standing too close for comfort/invading her personal space, asking very personal questions, shifty eyes (not making eye contact, and constant darting glances everywhere), focusing your eyes on her breasts, looking at the table or ground all the time while you talk, a guy with a dead-fish handshake, greasy hair, a maniacal/creepy laugh or voice, bad breath or body odor...
DanielMadr Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 O.K. You want to communicate with them like "lover" not a friend. Nice guy, personal psycho-therapist = FRIEND. Dont try to sneak up to them by 'friend way'. Be confident, playful and profess some challenge (no flowers, poems, sharing your feelings etc. too early). Flirt with them (eye contact, smiles). It is about attitude. If you are afraid, nervous, insecure etc. you wont pull them. Balance is everything...... Friendly asexual joe versus Sexually aggresive caveman. Finf the balance and no fear Are you a virgin? No big deal. Its not like assembling nuclear warhead under fire
electric_sheep Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Flirting is essential in the real world, but it is much less important in the online dating world. Flirting depends on nuance and clever comebacks and wordplay, which don't translate well over e-mails. Online dating, in my experience, seems to be much more no nonsense. Also, I like to think for every socially awkward young man out there there is an equally socially awkward young woman. Not all women are impressed with flirting, or even no how to respond to it. There are women out there that are just like you! I swear. You do have to take the chance and ask girls out though. They won't ask you out, generally. So, go ahead and get started! What have you got to loose ? Also, socially awkward young women can be found at game and Star Trek conventions, Renissance Fairs, watching Lord of the Rings, and other places like that. Seek them out! They probably will really like your awkwardness.
SmoochieFace Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Flirting is essential in the real world, but it is much less important in the online dating world. Flirting depends on nuance and clever comebacks and wordplay, which don't translate well over e-mails. Online dating, in my experience, seems to be much more no nonsense. Also, I like to think for every socially awkward young man out there there is an equally socially awkward young woman. Not all women are impressed with flirting, or even no how to respond to it. There are women out there that are just like you! I swear. You do have to take the chance and ask girls out though. They won't ask you out, generally. So, go ahead and get started! What have you got to loose ? Also, socially awkward young women can be found at game and Star Trek conventions, Renissance Fairs, watching Lord of the Rings, and other places like that. Seek them out! They probably will really like your awkwardness. I disagree with the part in bold. Flirting to me seems to be more of a suck-up thing than anything else. Not my 'thang'.
SmoochieFace Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Guys were wondering why they came off as creepy when another guy can do the same thing and get the chicks. And I offered my theory on this earlier. I said it has everything to do with LOOKS. A so-called 'hot' guy can get away with all sorts of zhyt whereas 'average' or 'ugly' dudes aren't afforded the same luxury. Don't believe it? Read up on a certain Ted Bundy. A certifiable CREEPY psycho that, thank Christ, is dead now who used his looks and 'charms' to seduce women and then murder them. How sweet. If he was some average or ugly dude his 'score' would have been much less or perhaps even zero. The fact is that you can't help what assumptions other people make and when people behave strangely or socially awkward, some people interpret it to be creepy. If you know you're not creepy and you have no problem with how other people may interpret your behavior, then you've got nothing to worry about. However, if you don't like the reactions you're getting, then it's not a bad idea to analyze what other people might be wrongly perceiving about you. And some people cannot help that they do not fit in with society's loony ideas of what is considered 'good-looking'. The guys who aren't 'creepy' are getting those negative reactions because of their looks. Should they be damned to a life of no dates since they cannot do all those nice flirty thingies without being labelled a 'creep'?
Author Gala242 Posted December 5, 2006 Author Posted December 5, 2006 Thanks for the responses, i've read them and i've ben doing alot of thinking and i realize that i have done alot of flirting, most of it on a subconsious level that why it was hard for me to remember. However most of the flirting i did was with women i wasn't interested in, like female co-workers, female customers etc. But with women that i've been interested in and have been talking to i have not really been flirting at all. And now i'm worndering why that is so but i beleive its because with my co-workers and customers i'm really comfortable and relaxed, but when i'm with a girl i like i get really tense and i watch what i say cause i don't want to make a bad impression. Since i've never been in a relationship every girl i meet i really want to impress her and to be honest flirting is the last thing on my mind i think i may be trying too hard that is why i fail.
SmoochieFace Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 And now i'm worndering why that is so but i beleive its because with my co-workers and customers i'm really comfortable and relaxed, but when i'm with a girl i like i get really tense and i watch what i say cause i don't want to make a bad impression. Since i've never been in a relationship every girl i meet i really want to impress her and to be honest flirting is the last thing on my mind i think i may be trying too hard that is why i fail. That does make a lot of sense. It's easier to be comfortable around those you really aren't interested in. The key though is to be comfortable around ALL women you encounter - including the ones you are interested in.
Green Posted December 5, 2006 Posted December 5, 2006 Younger girls can be easier to get, aim for girls in their early twenties or maybe even younger.
quietintrovertgirl Posted December 6, 2006 Posted December 6, 2006 Younger girls can be easier to get, aim for girls in their early twenties or maybe even younger. Good point
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