MeeDee23 Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 My g/f broke up with me 2 weeks ago because she needed "space and time to re-evaluate our relationship". Never a good thing to hear this, I know. Also, because she is in law school and right now she needs to devote her life to final exams during this crucial period. She told me she was unhappy and seemed bored with our relationship (which is going on 3 years). We haven't had any contact because all I want is for her to do well on exams. After some real self-reflection and finding out who I am and what "we" were, I feel so much stronger and confident in myself and so badly just want to show her the NEW ME. The me that isn't someone you can walk all over, but someone who stands his ground and is damn confident, and is able to give so much more than he ever had previously in the relationship. I know one big thing was the passion that you must have for each other....or that flame to want to be with that other person. It seemed to go dormant after we had fallen into this sub-conscious "comfort zone". Right now, though, I feel so alive and passionate that I could make her wildest dreams come true. I have fantasies and hopes of an intimate relationship with her that would drive her wild. I see things that I never even thought of before and just want to show her how much more of a man I have become because of this whole experience.....both physically and mentally. I've read so much advice on this forum as well as many suggested websites. I still think the best thing to do is wait until she is done exams and see if she contacts me (which I think she will). I'm just worried she'll make her mind up on me before I can show her the NEW me. I'm doing my best to stay positive and improve myself every day, but the waiting is the hardest part. I just need to do what I can for myself in the mean time. Any advice on where to take it from here?
notmakingsense Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 You can respond if she contacts you , but don't be the first to contact her -- even after the exams are done. Not contacting her will show her you are independant, and don't *need* her. You are a strong, confident, attractive and successful man who will be a catch to another great woman. Never forget that and conduct your life this way. Most of the time, the dumper will put feelers out to see what is going on and why you aren't trying to beg your way back in to their lives. When this happens, and it will, DO NOT talk to her as if your goal is to make it work out with her again. Just have fun with her and remain laid back. Be nice, be funny, and tease her a bit. If you are conducting your life independantly, she'll pick up on it and you will become attractive to her again. For many men, regaining confidence involves dating other women. I'll get lots of flames for this -- but in my experience, it is the best way for a man to get his balls back and become attractive again. DO NOT play games with other women -- be honest with them and tell them you are fresh out of a relationship and don't want to be serious yet. But you should go out and have fun. She'll pick up on that, and when she finds out you are starting to go out, it will probably drive her nuts (in a good way).
silentcharon Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 Notmakingsense is right. That is very good advice! Two weeks isn't enough time- and I'm betting that your ex knows it. In the back of her head, she thinks that the only reason why you're saying all this is to get her to come back. And you know what? She's right. It took me to date someone else even for a brief time, and I started going for coffee with guys at school, and my ex confessed that it made him jealous. I don't know if that's a good thing, but I'm betting that now that I'm "gone", it has made me a lot more attractive (I feel that way now too). So if I were you, just go out and have fun, and it's very, very important that you don't disclose information to your ex whenever she asks. Just say, oh, she's just a friend, will suffice. Just DISAPPEAR. Once she comes to grips with the whole thing, she will come looking for you. The point, here, is to make her wonder and miss you. Good luck!
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