Author tinktronik Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Nope. Some women have at least one purple thing. my vibe is purple. Does that count?
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 No kidding? I thought all women had at least one pink thing. I have pink nipples, does that count?? Tink, don't let the sleeping in sep. bedrooms last too long. Try to spend abit of time together, and make it fun! This way you two are still connecting emotionally and sharing afew laughs, then build on from there. Take a bath or a shower together, start the intimacy flowing again! Make up sex is fun too!
blind_otter Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 my vibe is purple. Does that count? word. the flying purple people eater. so are you going to schedule a date or something? What would you do for a date? Maybe you should take him to one of those places where you can wear inflatable sumo wrestler suits and you can take your aggression out on each other safely. I bet you would kick his aaaaasssssssss.
Rooster_DAR Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 That's not really a good sign. When my former fiancee and I moved in together, we each had a room that was just our own to use as an office space or whatever, and we shared a bedroom and the rest of the house. At some point, I started spending more and more time in "my" room and less and less time in the rest of the house. I know I was constantly annoyed with him; don't know how annoyed he was with me. In any case, it was the beginning of the end - getting away into my room, turned into wanting my own apartment and breaking off the engagement. It sounds like you two need to reconnect and appreciate each other, not get further apart. Norajane, I have a couple of quick questions regarding the situation you described with your EX fiance. You may already know my story, and I seem some similiarites in what my EX did to me. My EX I know was involved in an affair during this period and is still involved with him. A few weeks ago she told me I am her true love and she will do whatever it takes to regain my trust and that she doesn't want to lose me again. However, after a few weeks I saw no changes and she went right back to the being confused thing again and said we need more time apart to work out our issues. My question is, what does all of this mean? To my best guest she has some sort of problem(s) or is just using me, and my therapist seems to think she has some sort of emotional or dependancy problem. Before all of this she started getting annoyed with little things and was sleeping in seperate rooms as you described, but then should would come into my room crying saying she doesn't want to lose me and doesn't want me to find someone else. I don't understand why someone would state how much they love you , and the turn around the next day and change the whole thing around again. Just trying to figure out why this is happening. Thanks
alphamale Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 I don't understand why someone would state how much they love you , and the turn around the next day and change the whole thing around again. cause thats how women are....and thats why you don't listen to what they say but look at their actions instead.
Author tinktronik Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 word. the flying purple people eater. so are you going to schedule a date or something? What would you do for a date? Maybe you should take him to one of those places where you can wear inflatable sumo wrestler suits and you can take your aggression out on each other safely. I bet you would kick his aaaaasssssssss.I had not planned to schedual a date . But paintball war could be fun .I had not heard of the sumo think .I would get my asssssssssss kicked .Hes like a foot taller and 60 lbs heavier than me .
blind_otter Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 paintball war could help you get all that aggression out, and it would even the odds with his height difference. I thought, him being an oldie an all that, you'd be a lot quicker and more spry. He could put his hip out or something
Author tinktronik Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 paintball war could help you get all that aggression out, and it would even the odds with his height difference. I thought, him being an oldie an all that, you'd be a lot quicker and more spry. He could put his hip out or something true enough , though at 42 he still kicks my assssss at the gym . he only talks about being old when he drinks , I always wonder about that .
Sup Posted December 3, 2006 Posted December 3, 2006 true enough , though at 42 he still kicks my assssss at the gym . he only talks about being old when he drinks , I always wonder about that . Have you thought about marriage counseling? If you're not sleeping with anyone else, is he? Could the problem with your Mom be aggrevating to the marriage? Even in a mental way, stress, not enough sex, etc.?
Author tinktronik Posted December 3, 2006 Author Posted December 3, 2006 Have you thought about marriage counseling? If you're not sleeping with anyone else, is he? Could the problem with your Mom be aggrevating to the marriage? Even in a mental way, stress, not enough sex, etc.? I have'nt thought about marriage counceling at this point . And to anwser your ? , no i don't think the situation with my mom has aggrevated it and Im sure hes not sleeping with anyone else either . I think that we have just been run of the mill taking advantage of each other . Really he does not notice me a lot of the time , he's just so obsessivley wrapped up in work and everything else he does . He told me that after we started dating ( we had been just friends for a long time ) his fav thing was that I could just hang like not a lot of women could . And I think he tends to forget were not just buddies . I would like him sometimes to treat me the way other men tend to treat me . Its like he's forgotten to look and see what he's got right in front of him . Im sure I do it too, but I don't think to the extent that he does . He takes me for granted because I'm just a normal part of his everyday.
Art_Critic Posted December 4, 2006 Posted December 4, 2006 i just need my own space where i don't have to deal with anyone else trying to dictate where my stuff goes or how often i clean up or how i clean up . This is normally what happens to BF's and GF's ...there is not commitment to make the relationship better. There isn't enough ours or we and too much yours and mine It kinda sounds like you are uncoupling. you are going to have to figure out how to recouple and then take your relationship to the next level
Author tinktronik Posted December 4, 2006 Author Posted December 4, 2006 This is normally what happens to BF's and GF's ...there is not commitment to make the relationship better. There isn't enough ours or we and too much yours and mine It kinda sounds like you are uncoupling. you are going to have to figure out how to recouple and then take your relationship to the next level thanks AC. We actually talked a bit this evening and he says he does not think that it is so much him but that he thinks perhaps I have become depressed over the last couple of months . He says that he thinks the depression seems to be making me more sensative to things and angrier when its out of porportion with the scope of what is actually going on . I will admit I do feel as though I have lost some time and can't quite keep track of what day or time of day it is lately.I feel like the last two months have just blinked away and there gone .My sleep scheduals are way off and have been since I started evening hours .There have been days when i have not gotten out of bed at all and simply slept for full 24 hour cycle and also he says he calls a lot at 2 or 3 in the afternoon and Im still sleeping but I don't know really .I've had a toothache for what feels like a week but my H says I've had it for two months now and things have not been right with me since it started. I know I have missed (slept through) dentists appointments but he had 7 in his appt book written down and i thought it was more like 2 that I had missed. Perhaps there is something going on with me and its not actually our relationship at all?
Author tinktronik Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 Well, Im still sleeping in the extra bedroom. I think this may just be the end of my R . I've been seriously considering moving out , I do not think it was depression as to anything other than being depressed that my R is failing . We talked about our problems and that a lot of it seems to be that he works a very full schedual , but his home hobby takes up a tremendous amount of his time otherwise , and he is not wanting me around because I distract him from what he actually wants to be doing . So unless I can let him do what he wants and find something entertaining for us to do and leave him alone the rest of the time. So basically what he wants is someone to call him up once a week and schedual something fun and entertaining;he should do one of a few things, get an escort , join the big brothers program , or adopt a pet and visit it once a week . Because that is no kind of relationship. Jeez this sucks a$$ . So, theres my very sucky update .
johan Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 Hey, Tink. I agree, that update is quite sucky. I'm sorry for you. How long have you been together?
Author tinktronik Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 Hey, Tink. I agree, that update is quite sucky. I'm sorry for you. How long have you been together? Its been about 6 years now .
Porn_Guy Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 So basically what he wants is someone to call him up once a week and schedual something fun and entertaining;he should do one of a few things, get an escort , join the big brothers program , or adopt a pet and visit it once a week . Because that is no kind of relationship. Jeez this sucks a$$ . So, theres my very sucky update . thats cause you're living under the same roof. you should not be doing this unless you're married. never live with your partner before marriage. you have already sold the farm TINK and have nothing left to bargain with.
Author tinktronik Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 thats cause you're living under the same roof. you should not be doing this unless you're married. never live with your partner before marriage. you have already sold the farm TINK and have nothing left to bargain with.Perhaps your right , but Ill tell you ,I sure wouldn't have wanted to marry him and then 6 years later had tgis b.....s... going on .
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 thats cause you're living under the same roof. you should not be doing this unless you're married. never live with your partner before marriage. you have already sold the farm TINK and have nothing left to bargain with. I think Mr Porn has a point.. I think that without a marriage commitment and a date that has been set then you are giving the milk away for free when a woman moves in with a man. Would he consider couples counseling ? All isn't lost yet. It can still be fixed if you both would be willing to listen to each other and work on the relationship
Author tinktronik Posted December 16, 2006 Author Posted December 16, 2006 I think Mr Porn has a point.. I think that without a marriage commitment and a date that has been set then you are giving the milk away for free when a woman moves in with a man. Would he consider couples counseling ? All isn't lost yet. It can still be fixed if you both would be willing to listen to each other and work on the relationship I'm not sure wether he'd be willing to do couple's counciling . Weve tried talking about it , but with not so good results. I mean hes basically said Im last in line in the long list of things he enjoys in life and he resents me around to distract him away from what he's truly passionate about . Im 27 years old , do i really want to have to work some guy into putting me higher on his list of priorities? HMMM . on the other hand , I sure have invested a lot into this relationship both time and energy wise.. I'm insulted that I am not something he is appriciative to have around , I am a catch by most standards . Im fun and nice and smart and attractive and loving and good in bed . But his f&&&&&& everything else sits higher on the list , in all honesty human relationships do not sit very high on his list in general . So ac , to anwser your ? I don't know . I do not want to throw away all that has been put into this , I do love my s/o . But at the moment I want to bash him over the head.
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 27-.. I remember when I was 27.. my priorities where a bit out of order.. Work and play were my highest ones, then relationships. I went thru a lot of woman in my 20's then I grew up and realized I made a mistake.. Here I am now at 43- Divorced with no kids.. Stating all over with someone new. I'm even considering being a father at 43.. This is something I wished I had done when I was younger. If couples counseling isn't in the cards then you need to extract yourself from his life as it stands tight now.. Start doing and going places purposly without him.. Start living your life without him. Let him realize what his life would be like without Tink ----No Sex.. since his priorities are messed up you will only be feeding his desire to continue as is if you have sex with him
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 I mean hes basically said Im last in line in the long list of things he enjoys in life and he resents me around to distract him away from what he's truly passionate about . Im 27 years old , do i really want to have to work some guy into putting me higher on his list of priorities This hurts. Married or not, this is the root of why things are the way they are now. To not feel needed, or important enough to the one you love sucks and he's acting selfish by making you low on his priority list. WTF. AC and PG are right. Start living for YOU, and let him see how things could be like for him if you two did split up...I think he's taken advantage of you and has forgotten what brought you two together...
johan Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 This guy is a bit older than you right? How much longer do you think you can go before you make up your mind what to do?
Art_Critic Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 This guy is a bit older than you right? How much longer do you think you can go before you make up your mind what to do? Oh... How much older is he than you Tink ?
dgiirl Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 This hurts. Married or not, this is the root of why things are the way they are now. To not feel needed, or important enough to the one you love sucks and he's acting selfish by making you low on his priority list. WTF. AC and PG are right. Start living for YOU, and let him see how things could be like for him if you two did split up...I think he's taken advantage of you and has forgotten what brought you two together... Agreed. So sorry to hear this Tink, but it reminds me a lot of my marriage. I was the last priority in my ex's life. And stupid me, put up with it. I wish I was as smart as you and realized what was going on. That I had options. The guys have a point in that you shouldnt live with one another unless you're planning marriage. But on the other hand, not everyone takes marriage seriously anyways. Mine certainly didnt. So you have a point too in that you wouldnt want to be married and go through this anyways 6 years later. Divorce sucks and is expensive. There's no real win-win situation. You just gotta trust the other person to be telling you the truth, and be able to trust yourself to handle the worse case scenario. I dont know what to advise you. Just remember that you do have options and that things will be atleast "ok" if you choose to leave.
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2006 Posted December 16, 2006 It could be (?) that he is TOO comfortable in the relationship and now feels like he doesn't have to put in any effort - taking advantage of the fact that you're always going to be there... He needs a swift kick in the butt, a change to happen and for him to FEEL it before he makes any efforts.
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