Should I wait a week to break up with him since his finals are coming up?

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok, I'm the person with the titled thread "I'm in am EXTREME rut!" in the LDR forum. I'm in quite the situation here; I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years by the way. for a while I was confused in whether to leave him altogether..because I know he loves me more than the world. But I finally have come to the conclusion it's just not going to work. He has messed up too many times and my family & friends wouldn't want me to be with someone like that, even if he loves me NOW and treats me like a queen. I don't think I would ever move on 100% anyway..but I'm not certain; but I'm not going to move across the country for a guy & start college there when I'm not 100% certain. He's not 100% sure we'd make it anyway. He said yesterday (which is why I came to the conclusion that we need to be over), after I asked "Are you 100% sure that we'll make it if I move down there for you?" he said,"Nothing in life is 100% sure. I'd like to hope so, but it just isn't." Well, if I'm moving across the country for this guy, especially after all of the lying, and crap he has put this relationship through, he better be 100% sure he's going to make it work(especially since my family would be pissed for a while If I moved across the country for him-they want me to stay here and start college here.Taking a chance on losing the both of them isn't worth it).Therefore, I need to break-up with him.

 

One problem: I have the ACT test coming up this week & he has finals in college. I don't want to be responsible for him fluncking his classes because he can't concentrate and is all emotional. He & His parents would probably hate me for it.(because if he doesn't do well in this class he has to wait an extra year to take it because of the way it's offered.) So should I wait a week or just go through with it while I still have the strength to? I'm kinda taking a chance on changing my mind If I wait; but if I don't I will be blamed if he fails his classes & i reallly don't want to be dealing with that while I'm taking the ACT, and I may feel guilty for a really really really long time. I especially don't need that after all I have been through.

 

What would YOU do in my situation?

 

HURTINGDEEPLY<3

[daphne]

It's a no brainer. If it's only a week or two til he's finished with finals, wait to break up with him. It would be extremely selfish of you to do it right now. You two aren't in the same state so you dno't have to fake too much. Just stay busy for now.

[HurtingDeeply]

Just great. I just found out that his finals don't end until the 14th..which is the beginning of Christmas break, which since we live in different states, means that that is when he wants to fly up here for xmas or me to fly there. The plane tickets have to be bought ahead of time, as well so that just makes it worse.

 

I really don't know what to do..I mean I should just dump his rear anyway for all that he has put me through but I don't want to make things worse.

 

what should I Do?

[hrtbroken99]

I would not recommend breaking up before finals or any other major event. My bf broke up with me such a jerk (I also in LDR) and I have finals and so many things due and cannot concentrate at all but think of him day and night and prevent myself from calling him. I care about him so much, I wish he waited until my exams were done because I am distracted now. I just found it to be so inconsiderate and selfish of him. Also, as far as your plane ticket situation, its up to you, but it might be a better idea to do it in person. Especially because you didnt have just some 2 month relationship but a 3 yr relationship-that is a long time.

 

I was so hurt my bf of 2.5 yrs did it over the phone-I found that to be sucha cheap and inconsiderate way of ending terms with someone you spent so much time with, introduced your family too, spent holdiays with etc. He might as well have just sent me a cheap text message! Well, the ball is in your court my dear, but it is hard and only you can make the choice. I just wanted to share my feelings and thoughts because my situation was very similar and now I am full of hurtful feelings and lack of concentration!