Should I wait to break-up with him since his finals are coming?

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok, I'm the person with the titled thread "I'm in am EXTREME rut!". I'm in quite the situation here; I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years by the way. for a while I was confused in whether to leave him altogether..because I know he loves me more than the world. But I finally have come to the conclusion it's just not going to work. He has messed up too many times and my family & friends wouldn't want me to be with someone like that, even if he loves me NOW and treats me like a queen. I don't think I would ever move on 100% anyway..but I'm not certain; but I'm not going to move across the country for a guy & start college there when I'm not 100% certain. He's not 100% sure we'd make it anyway. He said yesterday (which is why I came to the conclusion that we need to be over), after I asked "Are you 100% sure that we'll make it if I move down there for you?" he said,"Nothing in life is 100% sure. I'd like to hope so, but it just isn't." Well, if I'm moving across the country for this guy, especially after all of the lying, and crap he has put this relationship through, he better be 100% sure he's going to make it work(especially since my family would be pissed for a while If I moved across the country for him-they want me to stay here and start college here.Taking a chance on losing the both of them isn't worth it).Therefore, I need to break-up with him.

 

One problem: I have the ACT test coming up this week & he has finals in college. I don't want to be responsible for him fluncking his classes because he can't concentrate and is all emotional. He & His parents would probably hate me for it.(because if he doesn't do well in this class he has to wait an extra year to take it because of the way it's offered.) So should I wait a week or just go through with it while I still have the strength to? I'm kinda taking a chance on changing my mind If I wait; but I will be blamed if he fails his classes & i reallly don't want to be dealing with that while I'm taking the ACT, and I may feel guilty for a really really really long time. I especially don't need that after all I have been through.

 

What would YOU do in my situation?

 

HURTINGDEEPLY<3

[Poboy]

wait for the exams to get over and then do whatever you want to...

[InspectHerGadget]

yeah waiting sounds like a good idea.

[HurtingDeeply]

Just great. I just found out that his finals don't end until the 14th..which is the beginning of Christmas break, which since we live in different states, means that that is when he wants to fly up here for xmas or me to fly there. The plane tickets have to be bought ahead of time, as well so that just makes it worse.

 

I really don't know what to do..I mean I should just dump his rear anyway for all that he has put me through in the past but I don't want to make things worse.

 

what should I Do now?

[InspectHerGadget]

Ahh that’s not good. Looks like you may just have to tell him b4 his finals are over. Unless somehow you can stall until his finals are over because it would be nice of you to at least let him get those done. But if you can’t, then you gotta do what you gotta do.

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok. I found out the main important final is Thursday (aka TOMORROW.) Today Is our last day together. I'm trying not to think about it too much or the painful questions like I wonder if he cheated on me more than once..or I wonder if he's going to go out and party and rush into a new relationship? Or if I'll be lonely for the rest of my life and will always be comparing him to my other relationships..or if his family will blame me for his pain even though it's his fault in the first place, or if the break-up will not go smoothly & it will leave me with TONS of unanswered questions..

 

When I focus on the pain, I start aching EVERYWHERE. Heartache, back pain,neck pain, I find it hard to walk..i just hurt EVERYWHERE..and I feel suicidal & can't stop hyperventalating.. and all it takes is for the radio to play a song that reminds me of us..so right now I'm trying to focus on school, and my future hoping everything will be good in the future..This relationship has been quite rough. I've been emotionally abused in the middle of it by him, he's cheated on me and I didn't find out until like 2 years down the road, He's partied ALOT without me knowing it and has even experiemented with drugs. It's just been lie after lie after lie..it's strange though because at the same time we're SO amazingly deeply in love. Most of all that happened in the past; it's just the fact that I can't get over it & the fact that he didn't tell me until recently because he didn't want to hurt me.

 

Bottom line is; I've suffered enough from this relationship & it's difficult breaking away from him because he treats me like his queen now but I just know that I shouldn't be with someone who did that in the first place. All I can say is I'm young, I'm fixing to go start college so..Good RIDDANCE!

 

Wish me luck!; before I breakup with him I can tell I'm going to be a complete nervous, crying wreck & I'm scared of my mind going blank. This is going to be extremely difficult for me because I love this guy alot and we've spent so many years together. I also don't have many available friends to help me through it right now; My best friend's mom just died, one moved far away, and the other was him. So I guess ya can say I'll be coming here alot for support.

 

*sigh* I never thought it would come to this.

 

Love,

Hurtingdeeply

[fjk82]

Hi Hurting..

 

Well it sounds to me like this is what u want to do so u need to go ahead and get it over with. Its not going to be easy..Your going to feel as though you made a mistake and u want him back but that is ur fear of the future talking..Trust me..Thats where I am right now..I was with the perfect man who never did anything wrong to me..ever..for 4yrs..we lived together 3 1/2 of those years as well..I left him in april and it was a bad break up..its now december and im still not over him and he does not talk to me..so just make sure u really are making the right choice and u wont regreat it later like i did..

i hope it all works out for you..remember..its not going to be easy at all..take care

[ShoeGirl]

Stay strong while you are talking to him, just remember what you need to say and say it. You know this is the right decision for you and that is the important part. Be prepared for what he will say to you after you tell him that you don't want the relationship anymore.

 

Good luck, let us know what happens:)

[Double Vision]

screw him;)

[HurtingDeeply]

Ugh..today is the day. @ 7:00ish it's all going down. I stayed home today from school because last night I couldn't sleep a wink; I just kept crying & crying & crying.

 

I feel nauseated & I can't eat anything I'm also feeling depressed. I keep trying to tell myself that it's probably for the best though. It's even more difficult because since we live 13 hours away we rarely see eachother & I just got back from seeing him & I had to walk away knowing I'll never see him again. (Maybe that's for the best?) But I keep playing over and over in my mind what he said when I walked away @ the airport. He said "Come back now, Okay baby? I can't live without you.You're coming back right? I love you." and started crying. I think he could see it in my eyes that I didn't know whether I was coming back or not.

 

Here's some advice for everyone: Don't fall in love until you're the right age, it's the right time, the right situation & with the right person. It sounds like common sense but people make that mistake all the time.

 

I'll make sure to tell you all how it goes.

 

Love,

HurtingDeeply.

[HurtingDeeply]

screw him;)

 

Those two words mean more to me in this situation than one could ever know lol I'm being serious!

 

Love ya

HurtingDeeply

[HurtingDeeply]

Stay strong while you are talking to him, just remember what you need to say and say it. You know this is the right decision for you and that is the important part. Be prepared for what he will say to you after you tell him that you don't want the relationship anymore.

 

Good luck, let us know what happens:)

 

 

Thanku for your advice

[HurtingDeeply]

Hi Hurting..

 

Well it sounds to me like this is what u want to do so u need to go ahead and get it over with. Its not going to be easy..Your going to feel as though you made a mistake and u want him back but that is ur fear of the future talking..Trust me..Thats where I am right now..I was with the perfect man who never did anything wrong to me..ever..for 4yrs..we lived together 3 1/2 of those years as well..I left him in april and it was a bad break up..its now december and im still not over him and he does not talk to me..so just make sure u really are making the right choice and u wont regreat it later like i did..

i hope it all works out for you..remember..its not going to be easy at all..take care

 

thankyou 4 your advice. I'm glad to have someone to relate to.

[HurtingDeeply]

I didn't get the option to break up with him last night.

His exam lasted until 7:40 and then he went to eat with friends for two or three hours, then played poker after that.

 

Today will probably be the day; unless something comes up again. The messed up thing now, is that I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision. Hopefully I'll know the right one tonight.

 

ttyl wish me luck

HurtingDeeply:confused:

[ShoeGirl]

Hurting-

You have been talking about breaking up with him for a long time, you said you have been thinking about it since last time you saw him. You know what the right decision is.

 

Good luck, you will make the right decision

[HurtingDeeply]

Ok..it's Tuesday evening..I'm about to break up with him. I called a friend to come over & help me through it.

 

It's wierd..I keep saying " I can do it, I need to be without him it just isn't going to work in the future & if I don't end it now I may be taking a chance on it ending in the future." But then, like at this very moment, I keep getting nauseated & can't eat anything and feel like If I don't know what to say, I don't want to hurt him, & I feel like If I break up with him my life will end..and I also realize that if a break-up isn't clean-cut & to the point it will hurt for a really really long time..(i.e. if questions are left unanswered) and so many questions are unanswered..but that's actually the reason I have to leave him. It's because I don't know where our future is headed if I stay with him and that's too big of a risk for us to take. Because chances are the way things have gone, we'll fall right on our face. So it's gotta end now. I just wish I could keep my strength, i'm tearing myself apart. And if he cries or gets mad at me I'm REALLY gonna fall apart THEN. I don't know what to say to him really either..I keep thinking I do; then my mind goes blank. And no matter what I tell myself I keep wanting him. I don't wanna dump him..it's just that i HAVE to.

 

Please Please pray for me. I need it SOOO much. Please respond too cuz Right now I'm freaking out & need my fears to go away BADLY.

 

Love,

HurtingDeeply

[Penny Lane]

i don't really have any great advice apart from what people have already said. You have made your decision, and thought about it for a long time. It is the right one for you, just remember that. You can do it, and you will get though it.

 

I will be thinking about you, stay strong!

 

Anna