4 months on and still finding it hard

[messed up chick]

I am new on here and i would like advice as to how i can get over my break up of 4 months. I was in a 7 year relationship with my ex and wen it ended i was distraught. for the past 4 months i have done anything i can think of to get him back and even though he gave me threads of hope he was just lying and had no plans ever to get back with me. He met a new woman one month aftr our split and that tore my world apart even more and cos i wanted him i knew i had to fight for him but i guess now i was the stupid one. he finished with thiswoman a few times as he wanted to be with me and my son (i have been sleeping with him a few times behind her back, so he obviously dont think that much of her) anyway he then decided that he felt guilty for hurting this woman and went back with her and left me distraught even though i have to care for his child, this other woman has no kids, apparently living with her husband and getting divorced but he thought more of hurting more but didn't give a damn about the hurt he put me and our son through. I am writing this now and i think that i am finally excepting that it is over. I was in such a state that my whole life had been effected. i am struggling with things day to day, i try not to think about him every minute of the day and nite and i guess that will get easier with time i hope. My work have been brilliant and i am off for two weeks as i have really struggled with my work so i am hoping that two weeks off. i can try and get sorted once and for all. I am seeing a counsellor to help me through this really tough time in my life, and unfortunately all this has really effected my son and he is seeing a child counsellor which i am hoping will help him as he must be cut up with his dad being here then he not. He introduced this other woman to my son a couple of months after the split and i let rip. Yeah in time i will hopefully meet someone new i no that is months and months away until i am completely over him, but even then, it would be months before he meets a new man in my life but his dad just though of himself did want he wanted and my son had problems at school and ihave told him that he does not see her again until things are not as raw and to give our son time to deal with this, as i am having rough time, it must be affecting him as well. I have done wel, i text hum everyday without fail, couldn't help myself and to put an end to that i know it sounds drastic but i smashed my mobile phone and have no phone but i have not been in touch with him for a week now, i am getting there, i get urges to get another phone put the sim card in and see if he has at least tried to get in touch see how things are with his son, but i know that if i do that i will start texting him again and that is just going to mak things worse.

His son was at the hospital friday and he didn't even ask how things were or nothng. i have no contact with him, my nan bless her is the go between so i dont even have to talk to him and she told him that he had had a bad time at the hospital and he just said 'oh rite' my nan was disgusted as he didn't care. whether he had forget and felt bad bacause his son was at hospital and he went quiet i dont know but he omes over so uncaring that he has changed and the man i was with has gone.

 

Anyway sorry so long, it helps to get out how you feel, but i know i still have a long way to go and i read self help books and anything to help me to come to terms with this and i am hoping that i will be stronger at the end of it and so will my son, get christmas out the way and hopefully i can start 2007 a stronger person and get my life back on track. Whether not texting him and leaving him alone will make him think, i dont know, but i would love the day to come where he wants me and his son bck and i can say you blew it, you had your chances i wouldn't take you bakc after everything he has done.

Any tips on how to carry on being strong, as some days are harder than others, would help so that i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.